Overcoming Fear v.3 - 5.75.7G - Ampers&d's Journal

[Ampersnd]

Day 22, T-Minus 159 days until end, 1st day off,

I've avoided reviewing coding videos for two days. I'm not excessively tired (though my forearms are still sore). A pattern of avoidance perhaps?

I'm still only getting 6.5 hours of sleep, despite good intentions to go to bed sooner.

[Ampersnd]

Dude this shit is crazy (or a coincidence),
The 35-year old Russian girl, with whom I study code, admits that she had an intense sex dream with me (over and over) and that she wants to repeat it.
She was getting flustered and hot in the face every time it was brought up, or even with a look on camera.
She made a ton of sexual innuendo. And I was a witness to all of it.

[Ampersnd]

Day 23, T-Minus 158 days until end, 2nd day off,

I think I'll run 2 loops, 3 days on.
We'll see what happens.


NOTE: Extra note. I've realized that our social graces, and our urgency to be polite, have to do with fear.
When someone makes a joke - especially someone of high status and/or attractive - there is a window of time where it is appropriate to react, and we knee-jerk ourselves into doing what we think will prevent that person from disliking us. That is to say, we are afraid of angering them and losing their regard towards us, even if it's not great.

EXTRA NOTE: I feel that I've been freed up from that compulsive urge to respond to people in that way. I had a 10-minute conversation with my boss that was very flowy and friendlier than I'm used to.

[Ampersnd]

Holy hell.. 9 hours of sleep later, I stumble out of bed.
Good thing I had the day off of work.

[Ampersnd]

Day 24, T-Minus 157 days until end, 1st day on,

Did two loops for the first time last night. It knocked me out for 9 hours. Great sleep.
Got 5 hours of coding done, then did my KneesOverToes exercise, then had a very relaxing first date.
She's not my usual type, but we have good conversational chemistry and I'd like to experience the sex with her, so why not?

Then, I went for a run. Now I'm coding again. Need to practice guitar before bed.

[UniversalMan]

Check out my time spent in deep sleep last night (the image says 'Today') vs the nights of the 18th and 19th of May.
I started OF v.3 on the night of the 19th.

20th: https://imgur.com/ar2mhqP (solid bar of deep sleep between 1-4 AM)
19th: https://imgur.com/l7VTfG2
18th: https://imgur.com/mBq5yfx

Oh wow, I barely get 19 mins of deep sleep every night!!!
When do you listen to the sub? day/night?

Btw please do not kill the bees
https://www.buzzaboutbees.net/10-Reasons...rtant.html

Bees tend to gravitate to me when in nature,usualy they come and rest, or they come cause of thirst or hunger.
I feed them and give them water, even pet them on their backs and "talk" to them (no I am not crazy), bees are wonderful creatures.
They will never sting you unless they feel endangered.

[Ampersnd]

Day 25, T-Minus 156 days until end, 2nd day on,

I think that 2 loops per day is a bit too much firepower for now.
I'll try it tonight but will reassess tomorrow.

[Ampersnd]

Oh wow, I barely get 19 mins of deep sleep every night!!!
When do you listen to the sub? day/night?

Btw please do not kill the bees
https://www.buzzaboutbees.net/10-Reasons...rtant.html

Bees tend to gravitate to me when in nature,usualy they come and rest, or they come cause of thirst or hunger.
I feed them and give them water, even pet them on their backs and "talk" to them (no I am not crazy), bees are wonderful creatures.
They will never sting you unless they feel endangered.

I listen at night after two 30-minute loops of Sleep Induction. So, I'm almost guaranteed to be sleeping by the time it kicks on.

Bees are cool; I just never see bees. Only wasps and hornets. They still provoke a reaction if they fly in front of my face.

[THolt]

Day 25, T-Minus 156 days until end, 2nd day on,

I think that 2 loops per day is a bit too much firepower for now.
I'll try it tonight but will reassess tomorrow.

I feel like it is pushing the limit for sure. I always fall asleep when I listen to 2 loops. I do feel like it’s working tho.

[Ampersnd]

Day 28, T-Minus 153 days until end, 2nd day on,

Nearing one month in the program.
Realizing that I'm feeling impatient and irritable towards those who would presume to limit my life.
For example, the cultural expectation for men to settle down before 30, even though they are likely to thrive physically and financially if they are single and unattached.
Every industry benefits if a woman can convince a man to settle down.

If a man gets caught up in one of the 3 Ms - Marriage, Mortgage, and Mini-Mes - they are in a hole costing 6 figures each, at minimum.
I get annoyed with the apologetics and the lack of logic of it.

[RTBoss]

It's a different world, now, my friend. I got caught up in all 3 M's (by choice). However, financially I'm better off than before. I just made sure to marry a high-powered, educated woman (with a great job) that made more than three times my income. She pays the bills! Lol - anyway, there's more possibilities for a man's life than limiting yourself to either : single = thrive, or married with children = fat and poor.

[Ampersnd]

Day 29, T-Minus 152 days until end, 2nd day on,

Elected to run 2 loops like last time. Didn't affect my sleep, though I only got about 6.25 hours.
I've been in a weird place where I'm stuttering and stumbling, but doing so in almost a confident way.
Still getting irritated much more often and at much less; reminiscent of my early 20s.

I'm starting to think big and limited only by my time/daily schedule; I can't pursue huge goals with the 20 minutes I have leftover each day.

I realize that my day job, with the time and energy invested each week, is a huge source of drain; finding a financial substitute will be important as I progress in the pursuit of my purpose. This is why I'll be buying and running UMS v.2 after this subliminal is finished (which will 100% guaranteed be released by mid-November 2021).

[ncbeareatingman]

Day 28, T-Minus 153 days until end, 2nd day on,

Nearing one month in the program.
Realizing that I'm feeling impatient and irritable towards those who would presume to limit my life.
For example, the cultural expectation for men to settle down before 30, even though they are likely to thrive physically and financially if they are single and unattached.
Every industry benefits if a woman can convince a man to settle down.

If a man gets caught up in one of the 3 Ms - Marriage, Mortgage, and Mini-Mes - they are in a hole costing 6 figures each, at minimum.
I get annoyed with the apologetics and the lack of logic of it.

  
 Some side comments on this: One ) a long time good friend of mine,a long time ago used to call'um " The screaming Me me's! and I still used the term,to this day!! Screaming Me Me's!! Put a sock in it. Geez. 

Hell I didnt like having to be around most of my neices and nephew's when they were little kids....nor the one's out in public at say Wal-Mart..sounding like Maria Carey stuck in a bear trap !! Oh hell naw. Noooo thank you. I came to shop not to have to listen to that nightmare in the day time,all becoz he couldnt get a Zagnut bar or a toy,fallin out in the floor scream,like like itself was ending. NOPE. 

 I Have rifle range head gear that I Use that Buffers all that ,both sides for the ears stuffed with cotton. I take'um with me everywhere I go, when Im out n' about. I dont play. Im here to shop NOT be tortured:-) Yikes.
 
 The other interesting  thing is that a Man who has had children ,when he hears a kid scream, be it his own or out in public, some where, His eyes will dilate.

  A Man who has NEVER had kids, his eyes will NOT dilate ,at all.

[Ampersnd]

 Some side comments on this: One ) a long time good friend of mine,a long time ago used to call'um " The screaming Me me's! and I still used the term,to this day!! Screaming Me Me's!! Put a sock in it. Geez. 

Hell I didnt like having to be around most of my neices and nephew's when they were little kids....nor the one's out in public at say Wal-Mart..sounding like Maria Carey stuck in a bear trap !! Oh hell naw. Noooo thank you. I came to shop not to have to listen to that nightmare in the day time,all becoz he couldnt get a Zagnut bar or a toy,fallin out in the floor scream,like like itself was ending. NOPE. 

 I Have rifle range head gear that I Use that Buffers all that ,both sides for the ears stuffed with cotton. I take'um with me everywhere I go, when Im  out n' about. I dont play. Im here to shop NOT be tortured:-) Yikes.
 
 The other interesting  thing is that a Man who has had children ,when he hears a kid scream, be it his own or out in public, some where, His eyes will dilate.

  A Man who has NEVER had kids, his eyes will NOT dilate ,at all.

hehehe kids suck. Other people's kids might be cute, but only in select moments (just my opinion)