OSC - Interregnum

[ReconGunner]

Week 5 (+ one day)

Busy weekend.

Had a dream last night. Another "back in the Army" dream. This one had a twist. In the dream, someone asked me my age. When I told them, they said "you should be retired by now."

Retirement has been on my mind of late, as I approach that age without any financial preparation. And now I am looking at an unexpectedly high tax return, and a brief lull in the seemingly incessant extra expenses. And UMS v3.1 is being released, one stage at a time....

[ReconGunner]

Week 6

I now have the confidence to examine a pivotal event in my life, which occurred the summer prior to my senior year of high school. I attended a leadership camp that summer, recommended by one of my teachers. At that camp, there were two separate conversations where I spoke oddly. In each case, while I was speaking I was inwardly wondering "why am I saying this" in the one case, and "this isn't how I wanted to say this" in the second. Both of them made me look very bad to those around me.

Looking back, I believe that camp was not just for me to learn more about leadership, it was a test - one that I failed miserably. The direction of events my senior year, when "the wheels fell off", I now believe was largely the result of me failing that test.

There's peace from this. So much time has passed and so much has happened in my life that directly "making up for that" is simply not possible. But recognizing at least that much about what altered the trajectory of my life is helpful. The oddness of the experience is still puzzling, but that will either be resolved in time, or I'll just live with it and press on.

And I have pulled the trigger on UMS v3.1. I committed to it by purchasing the four-stage bundle. I will finish the two month commitment to OSC before starting UMS v3.1. This will also allow time for Shannon to overcome his current obstacles to getting stages 3 and 4 complete and released; I'd rather not be halfway through UMS and have to take alternate actions because those obstacles kept him from reaching his release goals. No pressure on Shannon intended, either!

[ncbeareatingman]

Excellent progress and some very deep insight and perspectives, Recon!!
I:ll be joining you on this UMS3 journey as well.
As we used to say back in the early '70;s "Keep on Truckin' ".

[ReconGunner]

Excellent progress and some very deep insight and perspectives, Recon!!
I:ll be joining you on this UMS3 journey as well.
As we used to say back in the early '70;s "Keep on Truckin' ".

Pedal to the metal. You shake the trees; I'll rake the leaves.

[ReconGunner]

Week 7

Quiet week on all fronts. One more week, then UMS v3.1. I may be having some TID from UMS, but I'm going to hold off on journaling anything until potential becomes actual.

[ReconGunner]

Week 8

Closing out this journal. Nothing noteworthy otherwise.

UMS v3.1 starts tonight.

[StridingStrider]

Do you feel more confident?

[ReconGunner]

Do you feel more confident?

Yes and no.

Yes in the sense that I have been confident enough to confront some things within myself. No, in that I haven't observed any major changes in my behavior or in other people's responses. If I hadn't been able to commit to UMS, I'd likely run OSC a bit longer, especially considering the effects it did have.