OGSF3

[Frosted]

Been feeling like shit the past couple days. More shame coming up. An old pattern has resurfaced that had been mostly gone. I’ll feel shame and think about cringey shit I did or said. Sometimes it’s not even really cringey, but I still feel like it is. I’m getting through it okay.

Also paired with that is the fact that I seem to be doing more cringey shit. I think this is because I’m taking more action in social situations and making mistakes.

I think a big reason for some of the shitty feelings is the fact that I was behind on sleep. I’ve been catching up and feeling a bit better each day. I’ve woken up feeling pretty good today, so I’d say I’m almost caught back up on sleep.

[ncbeareatingman]

Respect Frosted, hang in there Man. Growing pains and change of state pains can be a real whooper of an experience. You're on your way to higher ground!! Peace.

[Frosted]

@ncbeareatingman Thanks man. When I’m in it I sometimes wonder if all this healing and clearing is worth it and if it will ever end. When you’re constantly working through pain it’s easy to feel like progress is slow or not real. I’m getting through it, but it’s unpleasant.

[Frosted]

Been going through a solid rough patch lately. An apt metaphor for my journey in recent years is this: I’m walking through a house of mirrors, not lost, but doubting if I’ll make it out in a reasonable time. I’m at least partially relying on faith.

It’s been a lot of shit being stirred up and conscious me just trying to handle it and not let the destructive energy affect my life. I try my best to live my life as my best self in those moments where reactive moments come up. Sometimes the negative energy leaks through despite my best attempts. For example dealing with friends and coworkers they might get the wrong impression because despite my best efforts, emotions I’m working through leak out. They might think they did something to upset me, or they might just think I’m a weirdo or whatever. This has been something I’ve dealt with for awhile now, but it’s been more prominent lately for some reason.

I’m also noticing sickening drives in myself, like the urge to have other people like and accept me so I don’t die. It’s a cancerous energy that serves no purpose and it disgusts me. I don’t want to constantly have my energy pulled in multiple directions constantly for inane shit like that. It’s just so bad on every level. It reduces the potency of myself, it’s inauthentic and inconsistent with no structural integrity, it feels like shit, and it is reactive with no consistent direction except away from something.

I want to be completely human.

[GreekGod22]

This is very relatable. I appreciate the way you articulate your thoughts and ideas.

[Frosted]

This is very relatable. I appreciate the way you articulate your thoughts and ideas.

Thank you. I appreciate that you’re getting value from my posts. With the cycle I’m going through right now it’s easy to view everything in a negative light, even when I know it’s my RAS* (Reticular Activating System) tricking me. Again the house of mirrors metaphor comes to mind.


*For those unaware, the RAS is your brain’s selective filter. It is biased based on your beliefs and state of mind. For example if you are upset, the things you notice are different than when you’re happy. A broke person will notice different things than a rich person. If you believe something, your RAS will show you things based on that belief.

[ncbeareatingman]

Frosted , Jimi Hendrix wrote and performed this song called "Room Fulla Mirrors" and He takes His Spirit and smashes His Mirrors ,now the whole world is here for me to see.... Hang in Man, the best is yet to come!!

[Frosted]

Frosted  , Jimi Hendrix  wrote and performed this song  called "Room Fulla Mirrors" and He takes His Spirit and smashes His Mirrors ,now the whole world is here for me to see.... Hang in Man, the best is yet to come!!

Thanks Keith. Things will look up, my only concern is how rocky the journey will be to get to where I want to be.

[dragonslayer]

This is very relatable. I appreciate the way you articulate your thoughts and ideas.

Thank you. I appreciate that you’re getting value from my posts. With the cycle I’m going through right now it’s easy to view everything in a negative light, even when I know it’s my RAS* (Reticular Activating System) tricking me. Again the house of mirrors metaphor comes to mind.


*For those unaware, the RAS is your brain’s selective filter. It is biased based on your beliefs and state of mind. For example if you are upset, the things you notice are different than when you’re happy. A broke person will notice different things than a rich person. If you believe something, your RAS will show you things based on that belief.

@Frosted, I’m getting value from your posts too. I’ve been looking forward to OGSFV3 6G for quite some time and may subscribe to it on my last day of LTUV6 next Tuesday or the day after.

[Frosted]

Continuing to get rekt by my insecurities with people. Frustrated and feeling like I should be farther after 10 years of subs, but I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. Bearing through it. There were some parts in the clouds today, which I’m thankful for. Having pretty bad chest pain which I think is gastrointestinally related. Likely OGSF3 working through things.


@dragonslayer Thank you. I’m glad you’re getting value from my posts. LTU6 was one of my favorites. OGSF3 is worth it, but from personal experience it can be brutal.

[ncbeareatingman]

Continuing to get rekt by my insecurities with people. Frustrated and feeling like I should be farther after 10 years of subs, but I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. Bearing through it. There were some parts in the clouds today, which I’m thankful for. Having pretty bad chest pain which I think is gastrointestinally related. Likely OGSF3 working through things.


@dragonslayer Thank you. I’m glad you’re getting value from my posts. LTU6 was one of my favorites. OGSF3 is worth it, but from personal experience it can be brutal.

     Frosty  it may be grief in the chest, could be that  that OSGF3 is working on. Only you and your subcs. knows for shure. peace and faster recovery.

[Frosted]

Today was a part in the clouds. Hopefully that continues. I’ve been in some weird kind of twilight zone lately where I’m tired and insecure.

I think I notice some incredible undercurrents with OGSF3.

@ncbeareatingman I think you’re right. I don’t remember experiencing something like it so I’m inclined to believe it’s OGSF3. I’ve also had a history of gastrointestinal stuff related to anxiety.