Felt like shit today. Everything just seemed to make me feel like people secretly disliked me, even though it was irrational most of the time. Despite my low mood I kept it together alright, likely a product of the inner work I’ve done with these subs + OGSF3. It feels like even when I feel like shit, I still have some sort of equilibrium, like some part of me is untouched.
I feel a lot of shame bubbling up, and those flare ups cause my brain to go “why do I feel like this?” and then my brain will remember something or interpret an observation in such a way that creates more shame. So the shame colors the lens I use to look at the world which causes the lens to tint more.
Today it’s been more prominent than normal, but the shame has been there underneath the surface lately. I guess it’s something I’m working on and the waves were more turbulent today.
I feel a lot of shame bubbling up, and those flare ups cause my brain to go “why do I feel like this?” and then my brain will remember something or interpret an observation in such a way that creates more shame. So the shame colors the lens I use to look at the world which causes the lens to tint more.
Today it’s been more prominent than normal, but the shame has been there underneath the surface lately. I guess it’s something I’m working on and the waves were more turbulent today.
