OGSF2: TIME TO FACE MY TRUE SELF

[MrGnome]

That's sounds pretty good!
Being happy is a good sign

It Really is.

Still I'm going to be carefull, Because I'm used to get some ups and later some downs (as Shannon once said: It's 2 steps forward and 1 step back). 

However since I'm not even 2 month's into the exp/sub it gives me a good sign that I'm going to get a Happy Future. 

[MrGnome]

Day 69:

Last weak I got in this big mental battle, Where my fear to screw up and my memory of the excistense of self controll (ya know the part that says you had to end your break and start using it now) were fighting each other at the end the self controll part won,

so I got 4 days off now instead of 6, however I'm very tired right now, So I'm sorry if I make some grammer mistakes right now..

However it screws up the day that I invited a friend of mine over wich used to be in a day off but is now an on day?

(So how do I use The experience without harming someone else? this time I invited him to my own house..)

Also I have this very weird feeling of lots of fear yet feeling like things are gonna be okay aswell..

I also need to learn how to deal with boredom instead of eating it away..

Like I also need to find a way to get myself away from sociale media and it endless political discussions, Because that's also making me mental tired.. however I still wanna keep track on my friends and still have acces to past friends group...

Sorry if I write a little weird I'm very tired right now... Yet still felt like I needed to update..

that new brain and weight loss experience also look interesting but I'm still gonna follow the Path Shannon made for me.

(being absolute self confidence after this and alpha male 7 (6G) after this)

But yeah.. I can really tell that this version of OCGSF is way harder then version 1 was...

Kinda wondering if I'm gonna be tired forever with every experience..

not that being halve asleep is a new context for me though..

I also need to find a way to stop buying ice cream during hot whether because I really need the new Alpha Male Experience.

I really hope there comes a day when I fully stop being insecure and tired..

(heck mayby even go back to stop caring about politics again..)

Sorry the point of this long story is that I'm very tired.. Tired of everything... No worries I'm not thinking about ending my life : ).

It's Just that I cant wait till I'm no longer tired in life...

[Shannon]

When you go to ASC Free (currnt version) consider that it was one of the first 5G subliminals. It's vastly less powerful than current tech you're using.

ASC Free is going to be the first 6G subliminal I build and publish. AMv7 will be the second. I suggest you use the 6G ASC instead of the current one.

Stopping buying ice cream is as easy as choosing not to.

[Frosted]

@MrGnome I’ve found myself tired my entire OGSF2 run. Don’t remember if it was less depending on my listening times/volumes, but just that I’ve been incredibly tired throughout.

[MrGnome]

When you go to ASC Free (currnt version) consider that it was one of the first 5G subliminals. It's vastly less powerful than current tech you're using.

ASC Free is going to be the first 6G subliminal I build and publish. AMv7 will be the second. I suggest you use the 6G ASC instead of the current one.

Stopping buying ice cream is as easy as choosing not to.

Yeah I was talking about the 6G version of ASC Free : ),

(I guess I can Use 5G version if 6G isn't out by then..)

True, I just need to find a way to train my will power, It does help that I'm at a weightloss supporters group now.

@MrGnome I’ve found myself tired my entire OGSF2 run. Don’t remember if it was less depending on my listening times/volumes, but just that I’ve been incredibly tired throughout.

thanks @Frosted That is good to know, Guess I just have to stay strong and just go through with it : ) (it's just 3 months and 17 days left hehe, Also funny how I can go through subs/exps no matter how hard it gets and somehow I lack will power in avoiding food xD)

[MrGnome]

Day 87:

huh almost 3 month's done,

Anyway the last 4 days have been interesting:

Monday: I got Criticised at work again this time because I apparently used the wrong bucked and I opened up gloves in the storage room (but I'm also not allowed to walk in the kitchen so I didn't know how else I was supposed to pick them up..) and got told to clean up the bucket

because he thought I was done with it while I wasn't, meanwhile I got frozen and couldn't speak up and also got the childisched attitude of fine I'm not doing anything for the rest of the day... (wich was only 30 min left anyway but still..)

Later after work my friend cancelled our meeting because he sadly got more task for his work so that was another dissapointment

and I slowly started asking why I'm still alive anyway playing a little with suicide (not a proud moment of mine and I'm lucky I'm still to scared to do that hehe.. also I know it's not worth it in the end anyway)

(more context about that S word: before this week I got more cancelled plans with friends and simmulair dissapointments and stress.. not to mention feeling like a failure since I always struggled to get a job in the first place..)

Tuesday: Boss forgot that I asked day's off to take care of my dog for my last 2 remaining work days, Luckly he remembered it after I told him, Unlike last year where it became a drama..

Also the worst Part of everything was when I almost lost my Dog without even knowing... I needed to be called by my mother (who was on vacation at the time hence why I needed days of).

Luckly she was back home when I went to our main house (I live in the garden studio..) but someone was at the door, The town people who apperently brought my dog back home.

After finding out about everything I got pretty much broken and sorry to the point where I wanted to cry, untill I had a talk with my sister in law and a app group chat with my friends who helped me calm down and told me that they also almost lost there dog at one point.

Wednesday: After the event of the day before I got to play video games with my niece in the afternoon and with my nephew in the evening, While my Sister in law was cleaning up the house for my mother and I got invited to eat at there home, So I also got to see my brother again
, Also my Nephew told me he loved me wich was sweet .

Yesterday: My sister in law was back to continue cleaning the house while I got to play games with my nephew again : ),

Also My Mother and Sister came back from vacation with a gift for me.

wich makes me wonder if the shit that happend at the beginning of the week, Happend in order to increase my bond with my familly?

Because I also realised how weak I still am despite all the subs/exps I did.. (also didn't help I messed up my first 3 ones..)

I guess I'm just impatienced and mayby the bad stuff happend in order for me to improve or something?

1 thing I know for sure is: AM7 is going to beat the shit out of me and I guess more bad stuff will happend in life.

if 6G isn't out by the time I'm done then I think I'm going to use EHPRA 6, Even if it means I may need to spend more money..

Because It's obvious I still have a long way to go when it comes to my emotions (and mayby it might reduce my minor seizure attacks..).

[Shannon]

Running EHPRA v6 before AM7 isn't a bad idea regardless. Have you done OGSF v2? That's also a good one to do.

[MrGnome]

Running EHPRA v6 before AM7 isn't a bad idea regardless.  Have you done OGSF v2?  That's also a good one to do.

Euhm? I'm doing it right now? OGSF2 is what this journale is all about after all hehe.. after tomorrow my first 3 months are done. 

So I still have 3 more month's to go. : )

[Shannon]

Running EHPRA v6 before AM7 isn't a bad idea regardless.  Have you done OGSF v2?  That's also a good one to do.

Euhm? I'm doing it right now? OGSF2 is what this journale is all about after all hehe.. after tomorrow my first 3 months are done. 

So I still have 3 more month's to go. : )

It's hard to keep track of what everyone is running everyone sometimes when I am reading journals and being distracted on this end.  

One thing I want you to know is that AM7 is going to be a major challenge.  If you find yourself contemplating suicide now, while running OGSFv2, then you're not ready for AM v7.  I suggest you try running AMv6 first to not only make sure you're ready, but begin laying the groundwork to make you able to handle it better by beginning to build the necessary foundation.

[MrGnome]

Euhm? I'm doing it right now? OGSF2 is what this journale is all about after all hehe.. after tomorrow my first 3 months are done. 

So I still have 3 more month's to go. : )

It's hard to keep track of what everyone is running everyone sometimes when I am reading journals and being distracted on this end.  

One thing I want you to know is that AM7 is going to be a major challenge.  If you find yourself contemplating suicide now, while running OGSFv2, then you're not ready for AM v7.  I suggest you try running AMv6 first to not only make sure you're ready, but begin laying the groundwork to make you able to handle it better by beginning to build the necessary foundation.

Got it! 

Because in the end I dont want to be dead, I want to be Happy, 

Dont know how I will respond to 5.0G But I still to prefer to be safe then Dead..

[Shannon]

It's hard to keep track of what everyone is running everyone sometimes when I am reading journals and being distracted on this end.  

One thing I want you to know is that AM7 is going to be a major challenge.  If you find yourself contemplating suicide now, while running OGSFv2, then you're not ready for AM v7.  I suggest you try running AMv6 first to not only make sure you're ready, but begin laying the groundwork to make you able to handle it better by beginning to build the necessary foundation.

Got it! 

Because in the end I dont want to be dead, I want to be Happy, 

Dont know how I will respond to 5.0G But I still to prefer to be safe then Dead..

Just remember that suicide is a choice, and it's always a bad one.  It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and it hurts everyone who cares about you.  I can speak having been on both sides of this fence, having had people I love commit suicide and having tried to do it myself during the depths of my depression back in high school and shortly thereafter.  No matter what, there is a way to make things better if you're willing to ask for help.  Sometimes you may need medical help, sometimes you may need psychological help, sometimes you may need therapy, and sometimes it will be your diet that leads to the issue, or some combination of these.  But there is help, and you can ask for it.

I don't want you to try to grow too fast.  That's like trying to heal too fast, and it doesn't usually end with the desired results.  Yes, grow.  Yes, push yourself.  No, don't back yourself into a situation that makes you lose all hope and want to die as your only perceived escape!

Also, if you have seizures for whatever reason and you don't know for sure what triggers them, you have to be careful about inducing too much stress.

So I suggest that when you're done with OGSF v2 that you take a week or two off and then start using AM v6.  It's pretty cheap to subscribe to, or you can buy it.  This will be very helpful for you to not only begin the growth process in a less demanding and intense manner than AM v7 will offer, but it will help you make progress in the right directions while you wait for it to be built.  You can make note of which stages are challenging for you and which are easier, and that will help you understand what you personally need to work on.

5G is nowhere near as powerful as 5.75G and later, but it's still no joke.  Take it seriously with this program, because it's going to push you to expand your horizons and make changes to yourself, your life, your boundaries and your circle of friends.  This journey isn't always fun or easy, especially if you're starting from "doormat" (as I did).  But it's going to result in growth and improvement, and you're going to make progress and have your horizons expanded and learn how to handle and do a lot of things you may not have known how to do otherwise (such as set boundaries and focus on improving yourself).

And if you ever feel like you genuinely are contemplating suicide, stop what you're doing with subliminals immediately and let me know.  I do not get the impression that you were actually contemplating suicide seriously from your previous post, but we still take that sort of thing seriously.  There is no save/restore, undelete or undo for that action, and I guarantee you that it's not worth it when you can ask for help and find a solution instead.

I want you to grow and improve and develop yourself.  I never want to see someone try to kill themselves.

Oh, and please please PLEASE read the directions and follow them with AM6!

[MrGnome]

Got it! 

Because in the end I dont want to be dead, I want to be Happy, 

Dont know how I will respond to 5.0G But I still to prefer to be safe then Dead..

Just remember that suicide is a choice, and it's always a bad one.  It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and it hurts everyone who cares about you.  I can speak having been on both sides of this fence, having had people I love commit suicide and having tried to do it myself during the depths of my depression back in high school and shortly thereafter.  No matter what, there is a way to make things better if you're willing to ask for help.  Sometimes you may need medical help, sometimes you may need psychological help, sometimes you may need therapy, and sometimes it will be your diet that leads to the issue, or some combination of these.  But there is help, and you can ask for it.

I don't want you to try to grow too fast.  That's like trying to heal too fast, and it doesn't usually end with the desired results.  Yes, grow.  Yes, push yourself.  No, don't back yourself into a situation that makes you lose all hope and want to die as your only perceived escape!

Also, if you have seizures for whatever reason and you don't know for sure what triggers them, you have to be careful about inducing too much stress.

So I suggest that when you're done with OGSF v2 that you take a week or two off and then start using AM v6.  It's pretty cheap to subscribe to, or you can buy it.  This will be very helpful for you to not only begin the growth process in a less demanding and intense manner than AM v7 will offer, but it will help you make progress in the right directions while you wait for it to be built.  You can make note of which stages are challenging for you and which are easier, and that will help you understand what you personally need to work on.

5G is nowhere near as powerful as 5.75G and later, but it's still no joke.  Take it seriously with this program, because it's going to push you to expand your horizons and make changes to yourself, your life, your boundaries and your circle of friends.  This journey isn't always fun or easy, especially if you're starting from "doormat" (as I did).  But it's going to result in growth and improvement, and you're going to make progress and have your horizons expanded and learn how to handle and do a lot of things you may not have known how to do otherwise (such as set boundaries and focus on improving yourself).

And if you ever feel like you genuinely are contemplating suicide, stop what you're doing with subliminals immediately and let me know.  I do not get the impression that you were actually contemplating suicide seriously from your previous post, but we still take that sort of thing seriously.  There is no save/restore, undelete or undo for that action, and I guarantee you that it's not worth it when you can ask for help and find a solution instead.

I want you to grow and improve and develop yourself.  I never want to see someone try to kill themselves.

Oh, and please please PLEASE read the directions and follow them with AM6!

Thanks Shannon, 

I was thinking about that suicide but also quickly thinking about the people who would miss me and decided not to be worth it in the end, (so I wasn't really considering it but more playing with the idea.. was also hard to keep myself from crying in the buss..)

I just had a alot of dissapointments in a row..

luckly the missary ended last wednesday but I do need to find a better way with being hurt (other then being over the top aggressive or thinking about killing myself off).. 

and I know I dont want to die either, I'm sure I can still handle the subs, I just need to stay strong and I should have used AM6 waay sooner instead of waiting for AM7 expecting just to solve my problems.. 

I also know now that I'm able to call people whenever I feel that bad again... 

Wich is good, Because I really need to learn how to deal with the dissapointments in life especially if they come in (strikes/strokes?). 

I also need to remember that my thoughts and feelings might not be fully myself since I got OGSF2 wich might mess with it till it got my feelings fixed..

I also would like to appologize for making everyone who read my last part and become worried. 

1 thing is for sure, I still have a long way to go..

oh well I'm sure the next 3 month's and AM6 will help me alot with it.

even though I might have to get used to getting a lower voice from what i read from old threads.

(also I didn't saw the use instructions for AM6 on the shopping page.)

found it in the journal discussion though:

"For 5G, you set a comfortable listening volume using Ocean Surf, and make sure you can at least faintly hear the lowest volume areas and that the highest volume areas aren't too loud. That should be the loudest volume that is good for Ultrasonic format and still good for Ocean Surf and Trickling Stream formats."

I only miss the amount of loops and hours now hehe.

Never mind I found it:

"I recommend using AM for at least 8 hours"

[MrGnome]

Hello Everyone,

Just here to say that my Vacation Money got in and I just bought AM6 immediatly.

Also I see It comes with instructions so I no longer need to ask for that hehe..

Also I noticed that my excitement for AM6 Gets in the way of Reporting on OGSF2,

So, I hope I got something related to OGSF2 Soon.

Altough I did noticed that I started to care less about other opinions.

[MrGnome]

Day 96th:

I'm bored and I dont feel like doing anything.

I dont know why but I have felt like this for a while now....

Even my Hobbys are boring right now.. (as in I dont feel like doing anything with it, Not that they are boring in general..)