Today I found out I still have some ways until overcoming the fear that triggers anxiety attacks, maybe I still don't know what I fear in the first place, could be death, pain, identifying myself when I hear something about a heart attack and assuming I'm going to experience that which reminds me of something kind of strange regarding my resistance, two times now I felt as if the bloodflow of my left arm increases and decreases making it feel weird, maybe is just pain but for some reason I don't feel pain.
Well, turns out I still got ways until I can hear someone talking about heart attacks without assuming it is going to happen to me and eventually pass out because of self inflicted pain and chemicals as a result of anxiety, I still curse when my parents told me if I don't do this then it will happen to me that and fucking hell, even if I try to remain calm the pain is stronger, I no longer fear hearing loss but as usual fear needs to cling onto something, this time is my heart, this is the last one remaining which troubles me assuming is the same as OCD, maybe I should try shock therapy.
Well, turns out I still got ways until I can hear someone talking about heart attacks without assuming it is going to happen to me and eventually pass out because of self inflicted pain and chemicals as a result of anxiety, I still curse when my parents told me if I don't do this then it will happen to me that and fucking hell, even if I try to remain calm the pain is stronger, I no longer fear hearing loss but as usual fear needs to cling onto something, this time is my heart, this is the last one remaining which troubles me assuming is the same as OCD, maybe I should try shock therapy.
