OFv4

[User_000]

Possibly the last thing regarding OFv4, after being emotionally in the damn shit for weeks it finally seems a major change has been achieved, which seems strange to me since I thought it was due to low self esteem, some inferiority complex and my hatred for humanity, apparently I no longer feel less worthy nor do i care (this is funny because just yesterday I was doing something from college which I don't want to do but was trying to force myself to do it, resulting in tiredness, procrastination, suffering. After that I simply remembered that I am not there for pleasure nor do I have the obligation to do it nor are the benefits at the cost of my suffering worth it, so I discarded it, curious, apparently it is due to perfectionism or a type of fear of failure or because I was afraid of giving more importance to my emotional needs than that of others, just today I woke up with fatigue and at times it seemed that I lacked oxygen), but finally I am letting go of the fear that caused this and is possibly related to the inferiority complex since by not meeting expectations I felt less worthy or something similar, the most curious thing is the attraction to women is awakening again or maybe something has changed too, now I pay a lot of attention to the personality, behavior, habits, and to be honest it seems that I "fall in love" with the personalities I like , I don't know if it has to do with love but I definitely get hard just remembering it, on second thought, during the time I used OF I realized that I felt hatred for women (possibly because of the inferiority complex), but now that hatred seems to be fading away, never in life I thought OF would help me to deal with this.