Results:
Yesterday: Was staying with a friend, with his GF, and her hot friend, on Monday. Instantly became alert with fear (wasn't expecting that girl to be there), "should I try to do something, should I not? is that creepy? how am I going to get her number?" etc. Used program one loop and meditated that morning, and things progressed (slowly) naturally. Went on a hike and the other two went ahead, we walked slow and it got flirty, was able to maintain good eye contact, physically escalate a tiny bit naturally (playful touching etc)
Nothing insane here but it felt like I was definitely reworking old patterns and being my real self. Hopefully will see her again soon, got her number. For me this was a highly charged situation because my friend, and probably his GF too, know a lot about my troubled past. But I decided I wasn't going to let that stop me from enjoying a possible connection, and if I was to connect more with her, vulnerability.
Edit: This is a major hope for the program and self development in genera -- an Unshakeable "I'm not that guy anymore, that's the old me." It's definitely happening, but the more permanent that shift can become the better. Because without that belief, I've been going along feeling like I have to become perfect before ____ will happen. And becoming perfect.. will never happen.
Today, was feeling quite fearful, listened, and then was even more fearful -- Meditated (mantra) for 10 minutes, and back into a fearless kind of state, effective, calm, unafraid, content. It seemed like that 10 minutes allowed the sub to settle in a bit.
So Shannon, if you have a moment --- to be ultra clear, because I tend to be kind of relaxed about following directions (which then leads me to falling off later on) ---
You're saying maintain the 2 days on, 3 days off cycle, (This is a bit confusing because I see other people on other cycles - is that something you recommend modifying secondarily?) adding one loop per cycle until it feels right.
Non hybrid only? Admittedly I like the hybrid after stumbling into it but there is a reason you suggest the things you do. You say wait a month for the hybrid correct? Or has this recommendation changed.
Just want to make sure I have this precisely in my mind otherwise I know it'll be an issue later, getting too free formed about it.
Yesterday: Was staying with a friend, with his GF, and her hot friend, on Monday. Instantly became alert with fear (wasn't expecting that girl to be there), "should I try to do something, should I not? is that creepy? how am I going to get her number?" etc. Used program one loop and meditated that morning, and things progressed (slowly) naturally. Went on a hike and the other two went ahead, we walked slow and it got flirty, was able to maintain good eye contact, physically escalate a tiny bit naturally (playful touching etc)
Nothing insane here but it felt like I was definitely reworking old patterns and being my real self. Hopefully will see her again soon, got her number. For me this was a highly charged situation because my friend, and probably his GF too, know a lot about my troubled past. But I decided I wasn't going to let that stop me from enjoying a possible connection, and if I was to connect more with her, vulnerability.
Edit: This is a major hope for the program and self development in genera -- an Unshakeable "I'm not that guy anymore, that's the old me." It's definitely happening, but the more permanent that shift can become the better. Because without that belief, I've been going along feeling like I have to become perfect before ____ will happen. And becoming perfect.. will never happen.
Today, was feeling quite fearful, listened, and then was even more fearful -- Meditated (mantra) for 10 minutes, and back into a fearless kind of state, effective, calm, unafraid, content. It seemed like that 10 minutes allowed the sub to settle in a bit.
So Shannon, if you have a moment --- to be ultra clear, because I tend to be kind of relaxed about following directions (which then leads me to falling off later on) ---
You're saying maintain the 2 days on, 3 days off cycle, (This is a bit confusing because I see other people on other cycles - is that something you recommend modifying secondarily?) adding one loop per cycle until it feels right.
Non hybrid only? Admittedly I like the hybrid after stumbling into it but there is a reason you suggest the things you do. You say wait a month for the hybrid correct? Or has this recommendation changed.
Just want to make sure I have this precisely in my mind otherwise I know it'll be an issue later, getting too free formed about it.
