OFv3 being fearless

[Kol]

Update:

My whole ancesteral lineage is in my dna, the combination of generations on generations on generations. Its motivating to know this, knowing im having a whole army with me, in my dna. Its like a snapshot and OF is breaking generational curses. Im in a huge unique position. To teach my future children is to teach my grandchildren through my children.
It instills me with responsibility and head of the household mindset. This also has me view multiple directions.

To answer @Mystic Pymp Im hearing you and I do agree to a certain extent. To me, I didnt cultivate the "oh Im awake, theyre sheep" mentality, but I did write things off quickly, made me feel hypocritical at times and depressed, basically the subconscious generating your reality thing by being redpill the influence of that. The "you become what you consume" Its my approach to the whole redpill thats been an issue, to live up to the whole idealist image that I had. Kinda limiting and what not, locking myself away. Im no pill now, lol. Once it is enough, it is enough, but it became cultish and clouded my judgment and vision as it became a damn echo chamber, creating a conflict in me and stiffled my creativity, because it was "feminine" or whatever to be a certain way. Thats what I see with selfhelp aswell, a stick to self punish. Its okay to like certain things. To experiment and feeling yourself.

Redpill aint the problem. Self acceptance is.

This is the last thing I will write about it, as it is done. I no longer entertain it.

[Kol]

Ran 2 loops hybrid yesterday ( 7pm - 9pm) and now taking a 2 day break.

I feel badass. Things unfold quickly. Its amazing. Writing this to keep track as I want to keep it all for myself for now what is happening, which is also a huge improvement. Bad-ass. Dayum. Kinda cocky in all the good ways.

Edit: I always have to do something, like, I can never sit still. Fear. This seems to bleed over into other areas, such as waiting in line for the checkout. Its clearly fear. Man, what a day!!
Impatience is another.

[Kol]

I realize something else. When I set an intention to do something, doubt creeps in right after I do it. Unsure, bordering gaslighting myself, which again is fear. Its all fear. Reminds me of AM6, by just doing it and being dominant. That is what AM6 made so awesome. Fearless leadership and taking life by the balls.

Im going to run loops tonight.

[Kol]

Am working on my tindr profile after getting more notifications. Fear reduction is noticable. Idgaf anymore. I do notice im getting energy drain and build up depression the longer I spend on it. I also notice im very selective and swipe left lots. Now what is my motivation? One of the things im screening with is "is she fittable in my life?"

[GreekGod22]

@Kol I'm just curious. Where in the world do you live?

[Kol]

The Netherlands.

[Shannon]

Am working on my tindr profile after getting more notifications. Fear reduction is noticable. Idgaf anymore. I do notice im getting energy drain and build up depression the longer I spend on it. I also notice im very selective and swipe left lots. Now what is my motivation? One of the things im screening with is "is she fittable in my life?"

Depression is a sign of some very deep work going on.

[Kol]

Great! Hybrid turns out to be perfect for me. There is no escaping OF, which is a statement. Your comment is highly re-assuring, I know it to be true, I got it confirmed. So many changes are happening, as im working through dissapointment and hammer the question "what is it?" Holding into place. No happy stickering also. No lying to myself but brutal honesty. Im working through trust issues aswell. Its huge whats being uprooted. I welcome it. OF proves itself already to be more powerfull then former subs, such as UMS and DMSI. Its pretty amazing. I desire those changes and am glad im handling them and am working through them. Very smooth.

I also wonder what up with my diet. Im not planning to go vegetarian at all, been there, done that, but I seem to work through something meat related. I had to down my chicken with fluids.

Im more positive lately, unapologetically so. Selflove. Made me think about my Abraham Hicks days and the description of the cork floating.

There is something else I have towrite down. What I like about OF, is my life changes by simply press play. Its like a present to myself! *press the button to change your life" its funny, its like a surprise party lmao. OFv3 is wonderfull.

Thank you @Shannon I wish you and IML nothing but success. The sky aint even the limit and its a great thing to be able to be part of this journey.

[Kol]

7/7/21

Had some really nice flow today. Fearless. There is still work to do. This morning I was on the road with acollegue of mine and we just vibed. I was in the moment. Its really obvious how good OF is working for me and im having moments of clarity and insight. My attitude is ballsy and there is no what if to be found. Im the opposite of risk adverse in many ways. I simply dont care and enjoy it.

I might come off as intimidating. Im getting stares, attention and what not, but I notice hesitation in some people.

Now, at the gym, im avoiding some people, those weird ones. Im not saying im hating or looking down on people, but im aware some people aint all there to begin with. Now, today was also funny as I was hitting incline bench, this girl just gravitated towards me like no care in the world. She had her what I assume was her bf, the dude walked up to her, told her the session was over and they left. The mate guarding was hilariously obvious.

Now, some other girl came in. 5"5 I assume, curly hair, fit. Never saw her. Her body showed she wasnt a newbie, she was fit in all the right places. Her vibe man o man. Her vibe was amazing. Now, the awkwardness kicked in. Look or not to look, gazed a couple of times "no, focus on your training" and she just did her thing, throwing glances sporadically my way. Now, this is where OF comes into play. The whole redpill has gotten me to a point of "dont approach brah, hold frame brah, act non interested brah" which is bs and fucks you over. Its a fucked up mindset. Men lead conquer and dominate, own the place. It gives a sense of peace. What a play on peoples fears that is. Since when did that become a thing?! A man does what he does, he eat the buffet and is also the chef, dishing out directions. He is a leader yet takes what he wants. Not this whole playing games bs. If I see achick, I want to be free and go up on her, sinply because I like it so.

Im outgrowing the whole alpha beta mindset aswell. Idk. It just dawned on me.

I finally had a dream I recalled somewhat. I was on the phone ( cable one, same im having here but dont use, thing is a mystery lol, one with a disk, oldschool phone ) and there was a distortion going on. I was on the phone with my mother and the dream was dark, somewhat demonic in nature. Thats as much as I recall. I woke up, thought to myself "I should write this down" but didnt, as I needed to pee and skipped it. Subtle avoidance. Why did I keep off the boat? I do also realize how much I walked away from. Away from responsibilities, handling things without me knowing I did. Its pretty crazy.

Also, yesterday, when in traffic I almost god in an accident which couldve hurt me pretty bad. Like I said, opposite of risk aversion. But I didnt feel anything afterwards. Still dont feel a damn thing. Its crazy. 9/10 people would have their heartbeat in their throat in situations of this nature.

[Kol]

Guess I see y'all on the flipside. Autoconfig brought up 8 loops ultrasonic..

[Kol]

Had tons of dreams last night, cant recall just now what they were, but it was lots.
OFhits on some deep stuff. In the midst of all this victim bs it all seems bleak, but it is actually something deep that been worked on on grand scale, like Shannon said, depression means some deep inner stuff isbeen worked through.
Chapters are closing.
Moment after moment im coming out on the other side more glorious, and then its been dissolved.
Lets say... finances. Its an inner thing. Ive seen it with people who received unexpected amounts of money, or other 4th wall breaking experiences. We have testimonials of that even here on IML.im arriving at realisation that are vital. Its an understatement. I mean, fears and illusions are being exposed for what it is, smoke and mirrors and im getting some very interesting results that will be resulting in being 100% successfull.

No suprise seeing OF working in my heart and sacral area and all other areas.

[Kol]

So I never lost my edge. Got Ja all dreamy today, some other women showing clear IOIs and had another chick returning after she dissapeared. This was all at a BBQ. So, Jo ( its a shortening for privacy reasons ) returned. She insisted on a hug out of the blue. Then she said "I can lift you!" So, she wrapped herself around me to lift me up. Sexual tension frame starts right before that. Its a state. So, she was not even that bad, she actually got me off the ground, even just a few centimeters, but she did. Then, I flipped it back. I lift her up, bend her over my shoulder and took her with me. I told the rest "see ya next week!" While being self amused. Lol. I deluded myself in thinking it was gone. It never was. After that she was all shy, seeking eye contact and we eye fucked eachother. I leave it at here not judging it.

Other girl, Ja ( again, shortened for anonymity ) was all dreamy. Constant in my space. I bantered with another guy with whom Im close with, although, as of late im asessing him. We chop it up most of the time but im questioning him if he has it truly in him. When I spoke with other people, she engaged directly and was silent. I was like a vip to her. Authority, famous like. Turning her body to me, legs open as she sat completely towards me.

Another girl, african, not my type at all, kept taunting me over, kept commenting on my physique and what not. Compketely fine with it.

Another older lady who was clearly signalling aswell to me ( bodylanguage, tonality, subtle facial expressions )

There was talk about fitness, divisions of competition, how he clearly noticed changes compared to 6 weeks ago. He kept praising me. Great guy.

Now, when I got home, I joined the live im always participating in. There was talk of how there will be haters, people wont level up, abusive circles and what not. Now, hurt surfaced, unhealed parts of myself and anger towards past people. Flashback-light. The show gave rise to that. It shows im still havent let go fully. Life is a marathon. I also will level up in even better ways. Im humble in being a student, eager to learn open mind.
Im outgrowing mindsets. Its what I came to realize today.

Keep moving.

[Kol]

OF pushes me to quit caffeine instantly and im happy about it. Niceee.

[Kol]

Day 1 off. ( day 46/180 july 9th )

I truly want to commit to these 2 days off. Its rough this morning but processing is needed. Its similar to former off days, which led to me starting loops back up due to all kinda stuff surfacing, resulting in self attack. Its crazy how its just one subject triggering the never enough, woe is me, doom doom doom, but if I dont watch quickly escalates. Now im catchibg myself reacting to it trying to handle it instead of getting out of my own way. 

I miss the one loop euphoria that 1 loop gave me. Giving up is no option.