08-14-2021, 07:44 AM
Day 90
I had a couple of rough days at the beginning of the week, but those are gone. Things feel pretty settled now and my focus has changed from an almost overwhelming desire for $$$ back to grounded self-improvement, particularly with regard to fitness and health.
With the exception of last night, I've been true to my diet and exercise program this week. I even added compound barbell lifts back in. I haven't lifted in years, so I'm having to ease back into it. My joints aren't as young as they used to be. Fortunately, I have a healthier mentality than I've ever had, so easing back into it all isn't a huge struggle. I'm also stretching more and doing regular short cardio exercises multiple times during the day.
I'm taking more pride in how I look, even when I'm home alone. I'm actually putting on clothes that I might wear out in public versus looking like a scrub. It feels good. The crazy thing about it all is that I used to pay attention to my physical appearance because I feared looking ugly. As that fear faded another fear took its place. This is when I let myself go. Now I seem to be at the point where both of these fears (and probably more that I haven't identified) have been mostly overcome. I'm focusing on my physical appearance again but not because I fear being ugly. I'm doing it because it feels good. It feels healthy. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment from waking up early in the morning to lift, work up a sweat, and to set the trajectory of success for the rest of the day.
Fear vs fear been the story of my life. In large part, my successes have come because one fear (i.e. fear of failure) was stronger than the opposing fear. Now I see that I can be successful at something without any level of fear in the mix. Up until now, this has been a theoretical concept for me. I'm happy to actually see it in practice.
I had a couple of rough days at the beginning of the week, but those are gone. Things feel pretty settled now and my focus has changed from an almost overwhelming desire for $$$ back to grounded self-improvement, particularly with regard to fitness and health.
With the exception of last night, I've been true to my diet and exercise program this week. I even added compound barbell lifts back in. I haven't lifted in years, so I'm having to ease back into it. My joints aren't as young as they used to be. Fortunately, I have a healthier mentality than I've ever had, so easing back into it all isn't a huge struggle. I'm also stretching more and doing regular short cardio exercises multiple times during the day.
I'm taking more pride in how I look, even when I'm home alone. I'm actually putting on clothes that I might wear out in public versus looking like a scrub. It feels good. The crazy thing about it all is that I used to pay attention to my physical appearance because I feared looking ugly. As that fear faded another fear took its place. This is when I let myself go. Now I seem to be at the point where both of these fears (and probably more that I haven't identified) have been mostly overcome. I'm focusing on my physical appearance again but not because I fear being ugly. I'm doing it because it feels good. It feels healthy. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment from waking up early in the morning to lift, work up a sweat, and to set the trajectory of success for the rest of the day.
Fear vs fear been the story of my life. In large part, my successes have come because one fear (i.e. fear of failure) was stronger than the opposing fear. Now I see that I can be successful at something without any level of fear in the mix. Up until now, this has been a theoretical concept for me. I'm happy to actually see it in practice.
