08-07-2021, 08:16 AM
Day 83
When I woke up this morning, I began thinking about UMSv2, possible income sources, etc. Then the anxiety came. Taking steps outside of my financial comfort zone scares me. So, I listened to a loop of OFv3 which put me at ease.
I just had another round of amazing sex. Later, my wife said playfully, "I think you got me pregnant." The humor in that comes from the fact that I had a vasectomy years ago. She was complimenting the act.
I intend to run OFv3 through the 6 month mark at the very least. It's possible that I'll extend the run to 9 months. I highly doubt I'll make it to 12 months. Eventually, boredom is bound to kick in. I also expect progress to slow pretty significantly at some point as the program gets to root of the more primal fears. At that point, it might make more sense to switch to a more targeted program to allow a specific set of fears to be addressed. I'm just 'thinking out loud' here.
As I've noted before UMSv2 is very appealing to me. E5 is also. The draw of E5, for me, is based on my sub experiences starting with LTU5 up through OFv3. What do I mean by that? I'm going to spare everybody the long-winded version of this. I'll simply say that there are things that I am 100% convinced that subs can accomplish. There also things that I think largely fall within the realm of fantasy land. After mostly unsuccessful (celeb vibe was pretty badass) runs of DMSI, I made the switch to what I felt was a more practical sub. That was LTU5. After that, it was LTU6. After that it OFv2. After that, it was OFv3. All of these have been run in succession and have been life changing at the core of my being. I've got a long way to go, but I'm stronger than I've ever been internally. The stronger I become, the more peace I find regardless of the circumstances I find myself in. I also see situations and people more clearly. There are men that I admired once upon a time who I now view as overgrown children. Some of these men are many years my elder. Where I once saw wisdom, now I see fear and immaturity. Inwardly, I find myself on equal footing with people that are 'technically' my superior in one way or another. They see it too. It's obvious in how I'm treated. I'm often consulted for my insights and I'm often confided in due to their frustrations, anxieties, etc. In many ways, I'm more internally developed than they are. I see it and they do too. I was recently told in a performance evaluation that one of the top level corporate king ding-a-lings "thinks I walk on water" (direct quote). This is all due to the gradual building/reinforcing of a foundation that never existed prior to LTU5. Although UMSv2 appeals to me in a major way, the foundational subs have done an amazing job and I can only imagine how much farther they can take me. I'm not getting rich, but I'm achieving smaller, subtler victories that I often don't even recognize until I look back on where I came from. These subtle victories are where the aforementioned peace resides. Based on my sub experience, E5 seems to be the next logical step after OFv3. AM7 seems to be the next logical step after that. But damn...the temptation of UMSv2 is really strong. That was a bit more long-winded than I intended to be.
When I woke up this morning, I began thinking about UMSv2, possible income sources, etc. Then the anxiety came. Taking steps outside of my financial comfort zone scares me. So, I listened to a loop of OFv3 which put me at ease.
I just had another round of amazing sex. Later, my wife said playfully, "I think you got me pregnant." The humor in that comes from the fact that I had a vasectomy years ago. She was complimenting the act.
I intend to run OFv3 through the 6 month mark at the very least. It's possible that I'll extend the run to 9 months. I highly doubt I'll make it to 12 months. Eventually, boredom is bound to kick in. I also expect progress to slow pretty significantly at some point as the program gets to root of the more primal fears. At that point, it might make more sense to switch to a more targeted program to allow a specific set of fears to be addressed. I'm just 'thinking out loud' here.
As I've noted before UMSv2 is very appealing to me. E5 is also. The draw of E5, for me, is based on my sub experiences starting with LTU5 up through OFv3. What do I mean by that? I'm going to spare everybody the long-winded version of this. I'll simply say that there are things that I am 100% convinced that subs can accomplish. There also things that I think largely fall within the realm of fantasy land. After mostly unsuccessful (celeb vibe was pretty badass) runs of DMSI, I made the switch to what I felt was a more practical sub. That was LTU5. After that, it was LTU6. After that it OFv2. After that, it was OFv3. All of these have been run in succession and have been life changing at the core of my being. I've got a long way to go, but I'm stronger than I've ever been internally. The stronger I become, the more peace I find regardless of the circumstances I find myself in. I also see situations and people more clearly. There are men that I admired once upon a time who I now view as overgrown children. Some of these men are many years my elder. Where I once saw wisdom, now I see fear and immaturity. Inwardly, I find myself on equal footing with people that are 'technically' my superior in one way or another. They see it too. It's obvious in how I'm treated. I'm often consulted for my insights and I'm often confided in due to their frustrations, anxieties, etc. In many ways, I'm more internally developed than they are. I see it and they do too. I was recently told in a performance evaluation that one of the top level corporate king ding-a-lings "thinks I walk on water" (direct quote). This is all due to the gradual building/reinforcing of a foundation that never existed prior to LTU5. Although UMSv2 appeals to me in a major way, the foundational subs have done an amazing job and I can only imagine how much farther they can take me. I'm not getting rich, but I'm achieving smaller, subtler victories that I often don't even recognize until I look back on where I came from. These subtle victories are where the aforementioned peace resides. Based on my sub experience, E5 seems to be the next logical step after OFv3. AM7 seems to be the next logical step after that. But damn...the temptation of UMSv2 is really strong. That was a bit more long-winded than I intended to be.
