07-24-2021, 07:27 AM
Day 69
After having some pretty intense anxiety yesterday morning, I decided to totally bombard my subconscious with loops last night. I built a playlist of 10 loops, but ended up only doing 4. I had multiple dreams, but I only remember the last one. It was night time and my family was asleep. My dogs were barking like crazy so I went to see what they were barking at. When I opened the door, a tall shadowy figure brushed past me. This dude had to duck to walk in the door, so I estimate that he was ~8-9ft tall. I tried to stop him but couldn't. I yelled to alert my sleeping family that there was an intruder, but nothing was coming out of my mouth. I continued to try to yell and to stop this guy. Then I felt my wife touch my shoulder and ask if I'm okay. I had been moaning in my sleep (trying to yell). A few minutes later, my 4th loop ended. I had a bit of a headache, so I stopped there instead of finishing the 10 I initially intended to listen to.
This morning, I woke up wanting more loops. I'm at the 45min mark as I type this. This particular loop feels different to me. It feels similar to the stages of LTU6 that I described as nourishing. I really like it and I might go with another loop. Last night was my 5th night on without a break. I realize that I'll need to stop the input at some point because the data will start backing up. I just don't feel like I'm there yet. A week ago I wouldn't have been able to handle this amount of input. I don't fully understand what's going on, but I'll stick with the urges. It feels like rough patches trigger my desire for more input. In the past it was the exact opposite. Instead of wanting more, I either wanted less or to stop completely. Assuming that's a result of the scripting, and I assume it is, Shannon has really outdone himself here. It's like the script is scaling itself accordingly. That's why I said that I don't expect to use less than 2 loops for here on. In the end, it might be 3 or 4 or 5 or...as I get to the really deep stuff.
After having some pretty intense anxiety yesterday morning, I decided to totally bombard my subconscious with loops last night. I built a playlist of 10 loops, but ended up only doing 4. I had multiple dreams, but I only remember the last one. It was night time and my family was asleep. My dogs were barking like crazy so I went to see what they were barking at. When I opened the door, a tall shadowy figure brushed past me. This dude had to duck to walk in the door, so I estimate that he was ~8-9ft tall. I tried to stop him but couldn't. I yelled to alert my sleeping family that there was an intruder, but nothing was coming out of my mouth. I continued to try to yell and to stop this guy. Then I felt my wife touch my shoulder and ask if I'm okay. I had been moaning in my sleep (trying to yell). A few minutes later, my 4th loop ended. I had a bit of a headache, so I stopped there instead of finishing the 10 I initially intended to listen to.
This morning, I woke up wanting more loops. I'm at the 45min mark as I type this. This particular loop feels different to me. It feels similar to the stages of LTU6 that I described as nourishing. I really like it and I might go with another loop. Last night was my 5th night on without a break. I realize that I'll need to stop the input at some point because the data will start backing up. I just don't feel like I'm there yet. A week ago I wouldn't have been able to handle this amount of input. I don't fully understand what's going on, but I'll stick with the urges. It feels like rough patches trigger my desire for more input. In the past it was the exact opposite. Instead of wanting more, I either wanted less or to stop completely. Assuming that's a result of the scripting, and I assume it is, Shannon has really outdone himself here. It's like the script is scaling itself accordingly. That's why I said that I don't expect to use less than 2 loops for here on. In the end, it might be 3 or 4 or 5 or...as I get to the really deep stuff.
