06-21-2021, 01:22 AM
Day 35
I've just undergone 5 nights on. As I lied down for sleep, I turned my 3 loops on. When I woke up a few hours later, I felt anxiety in my chest area and I craved more input. So, I turned on 3 more loops. I haven't been able to fall back asleep, but I feel pretty energized. After six loops in one night, I'm pretty sure that tonight will be the start of my ASRB2 break. But, I've surprised myself with the desire to have this many "on" days, so we'll see. I've been feeling really good lately.
This next part might be of particular interest to @Shannon . It might offer some perspective on why I'm requiring/craving so much input.
Here goes:
When I was a baby, I came down with a form of strep that was killing a lot of babies at the time. I was kept in the hospital for a couple of weeks and obviously, I survived. But surviving doesn't change the fact that I was fighting for my life while I was less than a year old. Being a super sensitive, very emotional child, my grandmother always swore that this event had a significant impact on my emotional well-being. After a deep-dive "core wound" meditation I did a few years ago, I've concluded that she was right. I believe this event instilled a tremendous, fear-based worldview into my subconscious and that's what OFv3 (and beyond) is ultimately up against. That's an entire lifetime of fear to overcome. I suspect this is why I'm probably a huge outlier when it comes to input requirements.
I've just undergone 5 nights on. As I lied down for sleep, I turned my 3 loops on. When I woke up a few hours later, I felt anxiety in my chest area and I craved more input. So, I turned on 3 more loops. I haven't been able to fall back asleep, but I feel pretty energized. After six loops in one night, I'm pretty sure that tonight will be the start of my ASRB2 break. But, I've surprised myself with the desire to have this many "on" days, so we'll see. I've been feeling really good lately.
This next part might be of particular interest to @Shannon . It might offer some perspective on why I'm requiring/craving so much input.
Here goes:
When I was a baby, I came down with a form of strep that was killing a lot of babies at the time. I was kept in the hospital for a couple of weeks and obviously, I survived. But surviving doesn't change the fact that I was fighting for my life while I was less than a year old. Being a super sensitive, very emotional child, my grandmother always swore that this event had a significant impact on my emotional well-being. After a deep-dive "core wound" meditation I did a few years ago, I've concluded that she was right. I believe this event instilled a tremendous, fear-based worldview into my subconscious and that's what OFv3 (and beyond) is ultimately up against. That's an entire lifetime of fear to overcome. I suspect this is why I'm probably a huge outlier when it comes to input requirements.
