OFv3 - Only I will Remain...Reloaded

[NOMAD]

Day 8 (cont'd)

I had my first episode of obvious internal struggle today. First, an event at work triggered intense anger in me. I was so angry that I could feel my pulse in my entire face. Later, I began to ruminate and fears began to surface. Shortly after the fears surfaced, I had an intense craving for more loops. This craving was beyond anything I've experienced with subs before. It was on par with craving alcohol after a really stressful week. That craving had subsided until I began typing about it. Now I'm wanting more input again.

After thinking about this, I think you should be doing the number of loops that you have the urge to do, for the number of days on and the number of days off that you feel the urge to do.  But only you.

10-4. I woke up this morning wishing I hadn't taken last night's break. I felt like I was on the verge of busting through something and that all I needed was a little push. Today, I feel like I've lost momentum. I've also been pretty damned pissy.

The intense craving is gone, so I'll probably continue through the prescribed off days and reassess when I start my on days again...One variable at a time.

I really do wish I had gone with my gut on this last night.