OFv2 - Only I will Remain

[NOMAD]

Likely you want to cry because that part of you is being pushed to deal with its fears and it feels stuck.  It may also be TID.

I think you're probably right in both cases. I feel really exposed and vulnerable. Also, I intend to purchase OFv3 this evening when I get home.

[NOMAD]

Day 56

My sleep continued to suffer. Falling asleep is the main problem. I think OFv2 is stirring up enough fear that my adrenalin won't let me drift off. I'll probably try finding a silent track to play for an hour or so until I'm out. Maybe that still help.

Hopefully OFv3 can overcome this one way or another.

[Shannon]

That sounds like a good idea. Or maybe use a sleep aid subliminal as the first or first ad second in a playlist. That's what I do sometimes.

[fab10]

Now that I read this: I have been on the verge of tears daily for at least a week. I even cried once or twice for a short time. And I have been sleeping terribly the last 2 nights. I never have trouble sleeping. Now I am starting to think it might be TID from OF3.

[NOMAD]

Now that I read this: I have been on the verge of tears daily for at least a week. I even cried once or twice for a short time. And I have been sleeping terribly the last 2 nights. I never have trouble sleeping. Now I am starting to think it might be TID from OF3.

That's interesting. TID seems to be a plausible explanation considering several of us are having similar experiences.

[NOMAD]

Day 60

Something I've neglected to report on is that I've experienced some physical effects that I haven't experienced since I was younger. One, I won't describe, but the other is hyperhidrosis.

From my early teens through my mid-30s, I suffered from this in a major way, probably because of anxiety. I used to have to use a prescription antiperspirant just to avoid the horrible sweat rings. As I got older, the armpit sweating disappeared. Foot sweat continued, but it was much lighter. Well, about 2 weeks ago, the major foot sweat returned. I had forgotten just how awful it is...geez.

The issue I won't describe (mainly because it's hard to describe and is a little bit gross), was something I experienced during a small window of time from when I was ~12-14 years old. Imagine my shock when it suddenly, 30 years later, happened 2x in the past month.

It seems improbable to me that these are mere coincidences. I believe they're outward symptoms of processing fears that have been buried...some, for a very long time.

[Shannon]

Rejoice! You are making progress! And this, too, shall pass.

[MagicalAlchemist]

Recently i have experience hyperhidrosis too. This appeared suddenly even when i'm lying down relaxed. This rarely happens. Sweating in palm and foot (armpits too) only when im in anxiety state.

[NOMAD]

Rejoice!  You are making progress!  And this, too, shall pass.

Absolutely. There's no doubt in my mind.

[NOMAD]

Recently i have experience hyperhidrosis too. This appeared suddenly even when i'm lying down relaxed. This rarely happens. Sweating in palm and foot (armpits too) only when im in anxiety state.

It never ceases to amaze me how common our experiences can be. One of my faults is that I sometimes experience something, but I don't report it because I either forget to or I don't associate it with the sub. Sometimes, it takes someone else mentioning the experience and I think, "Oh yeah...that's happening to me too."

[NOMAD]

Day 62

From the very beginning of using OFv2, I've experienced feelings of guilt. I'm really not sure why i haven't reported this.  I can clearly see multiple times that I've neglected to report things for one reason or another. I'm beginning to wonder if my subconscious is attempting to thwart Shannon's progress by subtly influencing my posts. If so, that really pisses me off. That would mean that my attempts to help Shannon develop scripting technology via reporting is compromised to some degree. Fuck. 

I swear,  I'm trying, guys.

[NOMAD]

Day 64

It's taking every ounce of discipline I have to keep my temper under control. It doesn't help that I'm totally exhausted from sleep disruption and I'm running on caffeine, which only makes the anger worse. I would hate to see my blood pressure numbers right now.

[RTBoss]

Day 64

It's taking every ounce of discipline I have to keep my temper under control. It doesn't help that I'm totally exhausted from sleep disruption and I'm running on caffeine,  which only makes the anger worse. I would hate to see my blood pressure numbers right now.

Admittedly, I had a lot of sudden angry outbursts on OFv1 & 2. My anger got a LOT better on LTU6, especially by the end of my Stage 7 run.  Now, on Aura of Love, I am having more instances of sudden angry outbursts.  

I feel ya, man.

[NOMAD]

Day 64

It's taking every ounce of discipline I have to keep my temper under control. It doesn't help that I'm totally exhausted from sleep disruption and I'm running on caffeine,  which only makes the anger worse. I would hate to see my blood pressure numbers right now.

Admittedly, I had a lot of sudden angry outbursts on OFv1 & 2. My anger got a LOT better on LTU6, especially by the end of my Stage 7 run.  Now, on Aura of Love, I am having more instances of sudden angry outbursts.  

I feel ya, man.

It's kicking my butt for sure. Earlier today, it took everything I had to avoid making a bad situation worse. I have to keep reminding myself that whatever I'm dealing with is temporary. I haven't experienced this level of anger in repeated bouts like this in years.

I had a similar experience as you did with LTU6 Stage 7. Stage 7 was probably the smoothest sub I've run yet.  OFv2 might be the roughest in terms of overt resistance, or whatever else might be going on.