OFv2 - Only I will Remain

[NOMAD]

Day 68

I've been taking cold showers before bed this past week to help me sleep. They're serving their purpose. As a result, I'm happy to report that my libido (which had taken a serious nose dive due to my lack of  adequate rest) is picking back up.

Interestingly, my craving for alcohol seems to have declined significantly. I had a few beers today,  which is a far cry from how I've been sucking 'em down on the weekends over the past 4 or 5 weeks. I don't know if the cold showers forced my subconscious off high center, if Shannon adjusted OFv3 and TID  did its thing,  if OFv2 made headway, or if it's just coincidence.  Whatever the case may be, I'll take it.

I guess it's worth noting that I began playing with child showers when I first began running OF 2. Why? I don't know. I just felt compelled to do it. But I figured out that the morning time wasn't right for me because I found myself getting sleepy 30 to 40 min after the initial rush. I've never, ever had the desire to take a cold shower until I began running OFv2. That's why I'm mentioning it here.

[NOMAD]

Day 73

The sleep benefits of the cold showers were short lived. I'm back to struggling to fall asleep and to stay asleep. My attention span, my alertness, my ability to think, and my patience are all suffering because of it. I'm being easily triggered and I'm pretty vocal about it, often without realizing when I'm letting it all out. With all of the above being said, I have to be very careful, particularly at work. I knew OFv2 had a major uphill battle with overcoming fear in me, but damn, this is challenging.

Considering the fact that OFv3 will be released in the very near future, this will probably be my last entry unless I have some fantastical insights to share.

[NOMAD]

Day 74

I should've noted this yesterday,  but didn't think about it until a few minutes ago. My obsessive tendencies,  which largely disappeared (or were at last manageable) while using both LTU5 and LTU6 have returned in full force. This tells me that OFv2 is triggering fear in me that I'm attempting to manage through control of the most minute details. LTU5 and LTU6 helped bring me to a place where I was able to be at peace with letting things be. That's no longer the case.

[Shannon]

Day 74

I should've noted this yesterday,  but didn't think about it until a few minutes ago. My obsessive tendencies,  which largely disappeared (or were at last manageable) while using both LTU5 and LTU6 have returned in full force. This tells me that OFv2 is triggering fear in me that I'm attempting to manage through control of the most minute details. LTU5 and LTU6 helped bring me to a place where I was able to be at peace with letting things be. That's no longer the case.

It isn't triggering fear. Its directing you to process, deal with and remove the cause of it. The fear response is in spite of everything i did in that script to prevent it.

[CatMan]

Day 74

I should've noted this yesterday,  but didn't think about it until a few minutes ago. My obsessive tendencies,  which largely disappeared (or were at last manageable) while using both LTU5 and LTU6 have returned in full force. This tells me that OFv2 is triggering fear in me that I'm attempting to manage through control of the most minute details. LTU5 and LTU6 helped bring me to a place where I was able to be at peace with letting things be. That's no longer the case.

It isn't triggering fear. Its directing you to process, deal with and remove the cause of it. The fear response is in spite of everything i did in that script to prevent it.

Hi @Shannon .

I can co-sign a possible fear response. A different one, like nausea, background depression, the "wall of fear" situation where it's like an invisible wall blocking you from what you want to do and know you need to do...other stuff.

I feel it's a safe assumption all of this will be approached much more effectively with V3. Looking forward to that for sure!

[Raykon]

My OCD has been very INTENSE as well. Like worse then its been in a long time. I obsess about the stupidiest little things that have no actual logic or significance. My OCD in all aspects has been very strong.

Day 74

I should've noted this yesterday,  but didn't think about it until a few minutes ago. My obsessive tendencies,  which largely disappeared (or were at last manageable) while using both LTU5 and LTU6 have returned in full force. This tells me that OFv2 is triggering fear in me that I'm attempting to manage through control of the most minute details. LTU5 and LTU6 helped bring me to a place where I was able to be at peace with letting things be. That's no longer the case.

It isn't triggering fear. Its directing you to process, deal with and remove the cause of it. The fear response is in spite of everything i did in that script to prevent it.

[NOMAD]

It isn't triggering fear. Its directing you to process, deal with and remove the cause of it. The fear response is in spite of everything i did in that script to prevent it.

I stand corrected. My post was made based on my understanding of what I saw Shannon post in another thread.

https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-OFv2?...#pid244400

Further, the act of working to overcome your fears seems to - regardless of what I have done so far to prevent it in v1 and v2 - trigger some part of you to respond with more fear. 

...but because interacting with fear is both self triggering and self regenerative in nature. 

...but if what you're experiencing is TID, it would seem there is still fear being triggered at some level by the process of dealing with and overcoming the fear. 

So, let me correct myself.

OFv2 is directing me to process and overcome my fears. My interpretation of the script is such that the act of processing and overcoming my fears is triggering a some part of me to respond with fear. The symptoms are manifesting themselves as impatience, sleeplessness, obsessiveness, etc.

I feel better now for correcting the utter absurdity of my prior statement.

[NOMAD]

Day 74

I should've noted this yesterday,  but didn't think about it until a few minutes ago. My obsessive tendencies,  which largely disappeared (or were at last manageable) while using both LTU5 and LTU6 have returned in full force. This tells me that OFv2 is triggering fear in me that I'm attempting to manage through control of the most minute details. LTU5 and LTU6 helped bring me to a place where I was able to be at peace with letting things be. That's no longer the case.

It isn't triggering fear. Its directing you to process, deal with and remove the cause of it. The fear response is in spite of everything i did in that script to prevent it.

Hi @Shannon .

I can co-sign a possible fear response. A different one, like nausea, background depression, the "wall of fear" situation where it's like an invisible wall blocking you from what you want to do and know you need to do...other stuff.

I feel it's a safe assumption all of this will be approached much more effectively with V3. Looking forward to that for sure!

You and I seem to have a common fear response with sleep issues. For whatever reason, I didn't even think to report it until I saw one of your posts elsewhere.

[NOMAD]

My OCD has been very INTENSE as well. Like worse then its been in a long time. I obsess about the stupidiest little things that have no actual logic or significance. My OCD in all aspects has been very strong.

Day 74

I should've noted this yesterday,  but didn't think about it until a few minutes ago. My obsessive tendencies,  which largely disappeared (or were at last manageable) while using both LTU5 and LTU6 have returned in full force. This tells me that OFv2 is triggering fear in me that I'm attempting to manage through control of the most minute details. LTU5 and LTU6 helped bring me to a place where I was able to be at peace with letting things be. That's no longer the case.

It isn't triggering fear. Its directing you to process, deal with and remove the cause of it. The fear response is in spite of everything i did in that script to prevent it.

Looking back, it has been happening for a while with me too and yes, it's pretty intense.

[ncbeareatingman]

Day 64

It's taking every ounce of discipline I have to keep my temper under control. It doesn't help that I'm totally exhausted from sleep disruption and I'm running on caffeine,  which only makes the anger worse. I would hate to see my blood pressure numbers right now.

Admittedly, I had a lot of sudden angry outbursts on OFv1 & 2. My anger got a LOT better on LTU6, especially by the end of my Stage 7 run.  Now, on Aura of Love, I am having more instances of sudden angry outbursts.  

I feel ya, man.

 Yep same here. RT, On the AOL I can relate. from the beautifully ,deeply heartfelt stuff to da Ugly stuff. so yeah I can related to what botha ya are going thru. the journey continues to the full aura of the field of Love. PLus I wanna get in as much of AOL,as I can before I do a deep dive into UMS v2/3. Hang In NOMAD.

[NOMAD]

Day 64

It's taking every ounce of discipline I have to keep my temper under control. It doesn't help that I'm totally exhausted from sleep disruption and I'm running on caffeine,  which only makes the anger worse. I would hate to see my blood pressure numbers right now.

Admittedly, I had a lot of sudden angry outbursts on OFv1 & 2. My anger got a LOT better on LTU6, especially by the end of my Stage 7 run.  Now, on Aura of Love, I am having more instances of sudden angry outbursts.  

I feel ya, man.

 Yep same here. RT, On the AOL I can relate. from  the beautifully ,deeply heartfelt stuff to da Ugly stuff. so yeah I can related to what botha ya are going thru. the journey continues to the full aura of the field of Love. PLus I wanna get in as much of AOL,as I can before I do a deep dive into UMS v2/3. Hang In NOMAD.

I will.  Thank you for the encouragement. 

One benefit of having an ornery subconscious is having to develop and fine tune conscious willpower. It's exhausting,  but I have years of experience putting it to good use. Giving up isn't an option.