07-01-2020, 12:11 AM
Day 4:
I feel quite chill right now but I do notice a fear of the future..
Where I am not sure I am even going to be able to do what I want(travel and see the world)
The only thing holding me back Is money.
And ofcourse covid as I can't get Visas right now.
But the money is where the fear comes in.
Will I ever make enough money?
It's an irrational fear as i only need about 1200 euros/dollars per month.
I wonder where this fear comes from.
My father is well off and has a passive income of 4000 euros.
And money was never an issue.
So I don't think I got it from there.
My mother is a little more on the saving money side.
But saving money isn't necessarily a bad thing.
So if I didn't get it from my parents I cannot imagine where I got it from.
Anyhow, it's been long enough of having this fear so hopefully it will work on it.
Being on UMS for 8+ months didn't erase this fear yet, so let's see what frm 4.9 can do.
I also notice a fear of starting work again on my youtube channel.
I will see if I have enough time to start a little today again.
Tiredness is not here right now but I slept for 10 hours.
Cheers.
I feel quite chill right now but I do notice a fear of the future..
Where I am not sure I am even going to be able to do what I want(travel and see the world)
The only thing holding me back Is money.
And ofcourse covid as I can't get Visas right now.
But the money is where the fear comes in.
Will I ever make enough money?
It's an irrational fear as i only need about 1200 euros/dollars per month.
I wonder where this fear comes from.
My father is well off and has a passive income of 4000 euros.
And money was never an issue.
So I don't think I got it from there.
My mother is a little more on the saving money side.
But saving money isn't necessarily a bad thing.
So if I didn't get it from my parents I cannot imagine where I got it from.
Anyhow, it's been long enough of having this fear so hopefully it will work on it.
Being on UMS for 8+ months didn't erase this fear yet, so let's see what frm 4.9 can do.
I also notice a fear of starting work again on my youtube channel.
I will see if I have enough time to start a little today again.
Tiredness is not here right now but I slept for 10 hours.
Cheers.
