Needing to focus: which sub should I stick with NOW?

[findingme]

I'm actually in need of some guidance. I own about six IML subs, I've jumped around this last month, and I am asking for help to keep my eyes on a single sub right now.

Over a month ago, I stopped Ultimate Detox after 3 months. A good sub.
I picked up Self Esteem 5.5. Ran it a week, felt uneasy and fearful of missing out of "something", so I resumed with E2.

I've been eyeing AM6, as I have a lot of insecurities revolve around WHO I am around other people. I'll go (uncomfortably) between "I need to pay attention to myself", and a growing sense of social responsibility, for I'm wishing to be the man I'm capable of being--consistently and truthfully.

Well, 2 weeks back, out of impatience in waiting on funds to pick up 2 stages of AM6, I picked up Life Tune-Up. It has a ton of self reliance and self validation messages........but..... It's 5G, only a B program, vs. a 5.5 program, all of which are A/B/C/D, and have immediate effects. I've been switching between LTU and E2 since while on LTU I'll feel old resentments coming up, and I'll go to E2 for a fairly quick stress relief on it.

A problem though: I have no motivation to accomplish anything while on E2--and I just REALIZED something! I EXPECT anyone (my ex, specifically) to VALIDATE me---I've waited on this for YEARS............DAMMMM. I'd hide all day, feel sad, imagine being alone my whole life, and ultimately seek out unhealthy family members. Not pleasant experiences really.

I also realized (just now) I'm waiting on a WOMAN to show/tell me how to be a MAN. I've waited on this for YEARS. I had this hope and dream when younger my mom would do it---same outcome there. I built resentments which I kept for years---I thought it was her job to do this (I was 13 when I began thinking this)

I've considered AM6 (again), but......I'm wary. Real wary of my history. Would I want to jump off since emotional s*** will surely hit the fan?

I am open to suggestions and discussion.

I should share this. I keep trying/hoping/wishing to meet my ex-wife's expectations and win her love back. (Why?). I'm out of state at this moment to see her and my daughter for a few days--and my emotional compass has been on "she won't/can't/refuses to show me (how to be a man)". And she's emotionally unavailable (will side-track conversations while I'm talking regularly) so my fear of not being validated is up right now. I can never meet her emotionally--for she has NO desire to be emotionally vulnerable/honest with me. Also, she's gay, the bull type--came up pre-divorce. I came up here to see my daughter, who is mirroring her mom completely. So, I'm emotionally stressed right now. I also have 2 employer/business commitments looming, so being around my ex mirrors the "you'll not succeed" message, as I chased my ex for 3 years pre-divorce. Also (a related sidenote), a lot of my financial goals have been tied to "winning her back (so she could tell me how to be a man)". I think that should be "......ALL of my financial dreams have been related to...." F***

I'm feeling sad, hurt, and angry. I am NOT helpless. Just angry at myself constantly wishing/wanting an unavailable woman to join me, and feeling the pain of disappointment......again. I've been in a fantasyland for a long, long time. Going back to childhood.

Concerning subs, I am listening to LTU right now. AM6 might give me some balls being around and handling dominant women/men who push their way in without asking. I've seen it more than a dozen times in the 3 days I've been here, and I'm going home tomorrow. I'm not f******* heard at ALL around here.

I'm (hiding) in my room presently since I'm told, not asked or requested, what I'm going to do next. F*** HER!! (I could piss/moan/bitch all ******* day--she won't change--I can only change ME!!)

I'm looking at AM6--but would like some discussion on this. Fear has ruled my life these last 15 years (been divorced 4 years). I'm seeking to NOT apologize for having feelings around people!

I'm seeking to heal from this emotional/relational confusion too.

Am I ready for AM6 yet?

[Jake2015]

Hey Findingme,

Dont worry things will sort themelves out.

Personally because of all the internal chatter and the angst of moving from 1 sub to another, you need a sub that you know will do the most that it can for you.

Many of the subs achieve different things but what I personally suggest is that you get onto DMSI.

First take a 21 days - 30days break from using all subs.

Then get onto DMSI. If track A is released then you should use that, otherwise if it isnt then use Track B.

Both tracks will be released together anyway in a month. At the moment track B is the only sub that is released.

I suggest DMSI 3.2 because its the most up to date sub there is with all the latest tech.

It will help to break through any inner garbage you have and track A will be awesome for this.

By clearing all inner garbage I believe personally will be the best course of action for you first and foremost.

Think of a tree with so many branches. You want the best axe to chop that tree down and thats where DMSI will come into it.

Any subs released after DMSI 3.2 will have the tech upgrade of 3.2 but then 3.3 will be released which will do even more.

this is my own personal thoughts on the matter, but maybe others will agree and if not then see what they say and use your best judgement.

good luck!

[Zane]

I strongly recommend u get on DMSI 3.2. Being on AM6 requires dedication and discipline. If u can do that then it's good.

It's better u get on DMSI3.2 as it has all the good and latest tech. It will help u become the man u want to be full of confidence and stuff. Its gonna be easier for u to listen to one sub,knowing that it has SE, ARA, DRA, Confidence and other modules...

[thor2014]

Findingme how old are you ?. If your still young in your 20's I would go down the path of AM6 and build a strong foundation on which you can grow and flourish the rest of your life. Whether it be career, study, relationships etc.

[findingme]

Findingme how old are you ?. If your still young in your 20's I would go down the path of AM6 and build a strong foundation on which you can grow and flourish the rest of your life. Whether it be career, study, relationships etc.

Thor, I'm 46. At the airport to head home now. I've considered AM6 due to its steady, consistent rate of growth, and that it targets trauma and abuse while focusing on being a man in the real world. Though it's only one focus, it's actually pretty rare.

I've been around recovery groups and tools for almost 25 years......and one thing I do not see is "how to be a man" while feeling deep feelings, crying alone or with others, forgiving others, and just stepping into the man's role--as most recovery groups are primarily women. I am realizing I've waited and been discouraged/angry towards people/groups/programs not "showing" me how to act and believe I am a competent, valid, worthy man. That is a big "hole" in my life, having grown up without a father, and it's why AM is attractive to me. Doing the right thing, doing what needs to be done (and on time) are also essential parts of the attraction. Also, not GAF either. Keeping focus and clear goals are easy if I DGAF about every distraction thrown in my path.

The other guys are pointing me towards DMSI, which has incredible (focused) healing tech....but. But, getting laid is not my main goal. I'm wanting to live comfortably in my own skin. I'm wanting to be an honorable man. I want to know I'm making good decisions for me and those in my life.

An afterthought I've not aired: people consistently say AM6 is "rough ride".

What was your experience with AM6? How did you cope with difficulties and resistance when it came up?

And thanks Jake, Frosted, and Zane. I hear you. I thought I was ready to jump off E2 many months back, and when I asked, Shannon said go to DMSI vs. AM6 due to its heavy healing focus--as AM only has E1.

Both sides have merit, strong merit. I'm going to stay on E2 for at least 1 month to shake up any old memories and feelings. I ran it while here, and I blew up at my 13 yr. old daughter completely disproportionately. I still have core issue directing me. My resistance has been fighting steadily. I need freedom from them. Using the masked version in E2 has made all the difference, for me.

[Benjamin]

If AM6 is too difficult then UD, SE or E2. You were going good on UD from what I read.

From what you're saying an extended period on one of those sounds best.

I picked up Self Esteem 5.5. Ran it a week, felt uneasy and fearful of missing out of "something"

Sounds like your mind resisting something about it. But Self Esteem really sounds like something you need.

[findingme]

Sounds like your mind resisting something about it. But Self Esteem really sounds like something you need.

I began SE last night after looking up men's SE journals. Thanks for the word. I worked a very long day, so I'll post later on it.

But today, my mind experienced the thrill of change and the awareness that I've kept it at bay by minimizing, denying, and justifying illogical decisions.

Also had some pleasant childhood memories and feelings surface :-)

Gonna crash.