Natious on EPRHA again

[Natious]

Day 30: Been hitting eprha on 18/19h average for a week to get maximum exposure. From today aiming for 21h every day. It does feel tiring after the 17th hour, so I'm trying to adjust my diet for more glucose intake and see what it does.

Been very self defeating and hating recently. Phrases like "why am I such a piece of shit" and "why the fuck do I even exist" keep bombing me, especially if I can't manage to perform at my very best in certain situations, good side is that the downward spiral doesn't stay for hours like it would a year ago. Might just be EPRHA tackling some of it's bullet points like:

• Self forgiveness
  
• Self validation
  

The main reason for 21h/day is that I want to get the most out of this sub and possibly reach such an emotional state that I won't feel like a weak little kid inside any more.