03-27-2015, 08:36 AM
(03-27-2015, 08:28 AM)Natious Wrote: For some reason I have this urge to do stupid things and not think of the consequences from time to time, especially when drunk. Kind of why I don't want to let go of all the fears, because it might keep me in check. I wouldn't say that I'm a dumb person, I perfectly understand the consequences, yet there are these moments of "I don't care what happens to me". Although ending up in jail and the shame with it is still not what I want, I just don't often realize it at the time.
I have the same thing, it's almost like I'm subconsciously doing dumb/stupid things so I see it's not as bad as I think. I had this a bit during OGSF I think the first time.
Also, I'm getting to total apathy nowadays, and find myself a bit more free to do whatever because of it. It's interesting but also a bit self-defeating. I don't feel "broken" like you mentioned, but I do feel like there is a mechanical "certain way" to do things (like get together with girls) more than ever, and as a consequence of that, I'm being less and less mechanical. It's weird.
