My OF3 re-run (2023)

[GreekGod22]

This will be my second run of OF3, my first one was journala here: OFv3 - Dominant & Fearless (subliminal-talk.com)
I just finished OGSF and want to clear more fears.

Day 1

4 loops US at 9-11/16 volume on iPhone.

Last week, I got back together with my girlfriend. I'm determined to make it work for real this time.
I've actually met her on my first OF3 run. Thinking back, I had good success with women during those months.

[GreekGod22]

Day 2

3 loops US at 9-11/16 volume on iPhone.

It has been a good day. I was productive today, got several things done, I'm in an optimistic mood. 
This is good, because I have a tendendy to procrastinate, to delay things.

[GreekGod22]

I did 5 loops yesterday, 1 loop today. Listening schedule hasn't been fixed, that's because I want to have faster results, but I understand the need for patience.
Will settle to a 3 days ON & 2 days OFF schedule, with 5 loops US per day.

Had an important interview today for a Senior position, I did good, but felt some nervousness, hesitation from me, which I didn't like. I realized that happens when I care too much about something, about the outcome.
Lately, I've been much more proactive with my girlfriend. I take the initiative, as a man should. And she loves it.

[GreekGod22]

Today I went on a hiking trip with a friend/ pal, he is older than me. He also has more relationships experience than me. We talked about a lot of things: women, relationship. I've found his advice valuable, the idea that you as a man have to take the initiative, to be decisive, to set proper boundaries, to not let her cross over you or disrespect you ever. You as a man are responsible for steering the relationship in the right direction.
I needed that kind of male "bonding".
The hike also made me realize that I still have a lot of fear to clear. I'm hyperaware of the environment, scanning for possible dangers in situations where I should be more relaxed and at ease.

[GreekGod22]

I did 7 loops yesterday and 4 loops today.

[GreekGod22]

The same pattern as in my previous OF3 run is happening. Increasing use of porn/ masturbation, apathy/ depression. That's why I am using a high number of loops to break through.
I am also unusually hungry today.

[GreekGod22]

I had a realization that is worth an update.
These last couple of days have been rough. OF3 is triggering depression and apathy in me. The more I increased the number of loops, the harder it triggers depression. Also increase in compulsive porn usage.
The logical conclusions would be that my levels of fear are still high. OF3 is effective at triggering them, bringing my fears to surface, but not quite at removing/ surpassing them. Same happened during my previous run.
I'm using the Ultrasonic format, volume 10-11.

If I were to compare it with OGSF, 5.9G  the latter is definitely better for me, because I've felt it having more success at removing fears. OGSF also triggered some depression in me, but not as hard as OF3.
I will stick with OF3 until the end of the month, but after that, I'm not sure it's my best option to continue. Perhaps I should get OF4 instead, or get back to OGSF 5.9G, or get the new OGSF.
Or perhaps, it would be wise to take a break from fear-related subs and use something else instead, like LTU.

I will try the Masked format at medium-high volume in my next cycle in the idea that a gentler approach might make my brain cooperate better.
@Shannon Do you have any advice here?

On another note, I've been dreaming more frequently since getting back on OF3. In one dream, I was sitting in a fetal position, doing nothing, and in another one, I had to escape from a castle.

[GreekGod22]

4 days ON - 2 days OFF schedule.

[GreekGod22]

Not having a good time this month, I will most likely stop using OF3 at the end of august.

[GreekGod22]

Will run one of OF4, LTU6 or E5 next. I would still want to continue running a fear-related sub, as I am aware how clearing more fears will benefit my quality of life and happiness.
I’m considering OF4, thinking it will be more powerful than OF3 and work better for me.
But at the same time, I really need a motivation and productivity boost, because running healing programs just doesn’t help on this front.
That’s why I am also considering LTU.

[GreekGod22]

OF3 is triggering a lot of fear, that my mind refuses to process, and making me procrastinate. I feel stuck.

[GreekGod22]

This journal ends here, I won't be continuing with OF3, I'm just not feeling myself breaking through resistance.
Purchased a monthly subscription for OGSF2 and will be using it from now on.