03-03-2018, 09:55 PM
There are a few things that stood out in my mind this week. In the gym, guys would initiate convo with me and actually have a solid convo not like a quick "oh, how many sets you have left?" but like talking about the gym and nutrition and things along those lines. It happened too many times in a short span to ignore. At Walmart, when I went to pickup an item, the cashier had a convo with me. We both had the iPhone X so that's what she mainly talked about. It was more involved than necessary for the job. I'm guessing these are moments when the celebrity effect is assisting. Outside of those, nothing different in my classes which is where I thought I'd see an obvious difference.
For some reason, I've passed by or seen a lot of girls I use to be interested in and one that I currently am. It's odd to have seen all of them in a short time. Nothing else besides happening to see them though.
I seem to feel more comfortable with feeling horny. Sexual thoughts come to me a bit more often, but I don't feel "tortured" by having a sex drive at the moment. I think my penis is more sensitive since starting the program and that's why masturbating feels better than I remember. PMO'd again this morning, but I'm fine.
There was a girl I met days before actually starting 3.2, she seemed glad to exchange numbers with me and I thought it was clear that I talked to her because I intended to have some kind of sexual connection with her as I told her I found her attractive (and I never ever directly say anything like that). Plus she lives on the floor right below me, I thought it'd be perfect that we're 30 seconds away from each other. She's gone dark, not replying to texts after suggesting a meetup. I felt super irritated about it, but I've gotten past that faster than I usually would. At this point, when I look in the mirror and think about how far I've come in my journey, I honestly feel that a girl to do what she did (show interest and then go without any explanation) is stupid.
I've really been curious about the average girl's sex drive. I honestly can't think of any reason why a girl would give a guy her number who lived in the same building and not want to have sex with him, unless the sex drive isn't there. I've always heard that girls want it more than guys, but just in talking with my male roommates, I don't think I've found anyone that feels sex drive as intensely as I do. I don't believe that I've met a girl ever that feels that the way I do, because I don't have any evidence for it. That may just be me though.
I'm now starting to stop asking what's wrong with me all the time. I see that there's nothing at all that's wrong with me. I'm not perfect, I'm not like most of the people I know, and sometimes it's difficult to understand what others are thinking and feeling but that doesn't mean there's something wrong.
That's it for this week. I really feel like 3.2 is a step in the right direction. It'll take more time for me to fully ingrain it, but I can tell it's a decent step. Or maybe it's because this is my first time running DMSI without the healing and clearing.
For some reason, I've passed by or seen a lot of girls I use to be interested in and one that I currently am. It's odd to have seen all of them in a short time. Nothing else besides happening to see them though.
I seem to feel more comfortable with feeling horny. Sexual thoughts come to me a bit more often, but I don't feel "tortured" by having a sex drive at the moment. I think my penis is more sensitive since starting the program and that's why masturbating feels better than I remember. PMO'd again this morning, but I'm fine.
There was a girl I met days before actually starting 3.2, she seemed glad to exchange numbers with me and I thought it was clear that I talked to her because I intended to have some kind of sexual connection with her as I told her I found her attractive (and I never ever directly say anything like that). Plus she lives on the floor right below me, I thought it'd be perfect that we're 30 seconds away from each other. She's gone dark, not replying to texts after suggesting a meetup. I felt super irritated about it, but I've gotten past that faster than I usually would. At this point, when I look in the mirror and think about how far I've come in my journey, I honestly feel that a girl to do what she did (show interest and then go without any explanation) is stupid.
I've really been curious about the average girl's sex drive. I honestly can't think of any reason why a girl would give a guy her number who lived in the same building and not want to have sex with him, unless the sex drive isn't there. I've always heard that girls want it more than guys, but just in talking with my male roommates, I don't think I've found anyone that feels sex drive as intensely as I do. I don't believe that I've met a girl ever that feels that the way I do, because I don't have any evidence for it. That may just be me though.
I'm now starting to stop asking what's wrong with me all the time. I see that there's nothing at all that's wrong with me. I'm not perfect, I'm not like most of the people I know, and sometimes it's difficult to understand what others are thinking and feeling but that doesn't mean there's something wrong.
That's it for this week. I really feel like 3.2 is a step in the right direction. It'll take more time for me to fully ingrain it, but I can tell it's a decent step. Or maybe it's because this is my first time running DMSI without the healing and clearing.
