Mr Steve's OF Journey

[Mr_steevee]

Cycle 7- Day 4
Holy cow. The last days have been really terrible. Short tempered and angry as hell mixed with a slight bit of depression.
I really don’t know what’s going on but I hope this won’t last too long.
It’s really like I don’t know what to do with myself.

[THolt]

Cycle 7- Day 4
Holy cow. The last days have been really terrible. Short tempered and angry as hell mixed with a slight bit of depression.
I really don’t know what’s going on but I hope this won’t last too long.
It’s really like I don’t know what to do with myself.

Just be patient and run the program. I’m going through some tough emotions with E3 but I am confident I will get through them in time.

[Mr_steevee]

Cycle 7- Day 4
Holy cow. The last days have been really terrible. Short tempered and angry as hell mixed with a slight bit of depression.
I really don’t know what’s going on but I hope this won’t last too long.
It’s really like I don’t know what to do with myself.

Just be patient and run the program. I’m going through some tough emotions with E3 but I am confident I will get through them in time.

Thank you for your encouraging words!! 
I will definitely but currently I really feel like sh**. That’s even worse than the exhaustion lol

[Shannon]

Cycle 7- Day 4
Holy cow. The last days have been really terrible. Short tempered and angry as hell mixed with a slight bit of depression.
I really don’t know what’s going on but I hope this won’t last too long.
It’s really like I don’t know what to do with myself.

That sounds distinctly like a subconscious that is unable to resist the program, but really, really wants to.  I have seen it many times that such a situation can lead to depression and anger from the subconscious.  If you want the goal of the program, just keep going.  Not everything the program needs to change is going to be peaches and cream, but it will be worth it when you come out the other side.

[Mr_steevee]

Cycle 7- Day 4
Holy cow. The last days have been really terrible. Short tempered and angry as hell mixed with a slight bit of depression.
I really don’t know what’s going on but I hope this won’t last too long.
It’s really like I don’t know what to do with myself.

That sounds distinctly like a subconscious that is unable to resist the program, but really, really wants to.  I have seen it many times that such a situation can lead to depression and anger from the subconscious.  If you want the goal of the program, just keep going.  Not everything the program needs to change is going to be peaches and cream, but it will be worth it when you come out the other side.

Thank you for your response, @Shannon . Normally today would be my first day off. Should I continue listening or should I take the break? 
Yeah there is a lot of suppressed anger inside of me. It feels like the bomb might explode every second.  Your explanation sounds pretty reasonable. I can also feel it in my body like a mild increased heart rate.

[Shannon]

Cycle 7- Day 4
Holy cow. The last days have been really terrible. Short tempered and angry as hell mixed with a slight bit of depression.
I really don’t know what’s going on but I hope this won’t last too long.
It’s really like I don’t know what to do with myself.

That sounds distinctly like a subconscious that is unable to resist the program, but really, really wants to.  I have seen it many times that such a situation can lead to depression and anger from the subconscious.  If you want the goal of the program, just keep going.  Not everything the program needs to change is going to be peaches and cream, but it will be worth it when you come out the other side.

Do things get better or worse on your days off, and how many days off in a row are you taking?  You will need to take breaks, but extending usage days when dealing with a recalcitrant subconscious is sometimes useful as well.  I'll need to know the answers to those questions to be of much use, but it is likely that by the time I get a chance to check the forum again, it will be the 22nd of August.  Tomorrow I will be driving 9 hours home from where I am on vacation (usually it's 11-12 hours), and by the time I get home and get unpacked and the animals fed and dealt with I'm ready to drop.  So you may have to decide for yourself.

Thank you for your response, @Shannon . Normally today would be my first day off. Should I continue listening or should I take the break? 
Yeah there is a lot of suppressed anger inside of me. It feels like the bomb might explode every second.  Your explanation sounds pretty reasonable. I can also feel it in my body like a mild increased heart rate.

[Mr_steevee]

I have decided to take the three days break as instructed.
Normally it feels better with OF running. Today it feels like I have better control over my emotions so I can control my anger a bit more. I feel very insecure and upset. Hope I get over it very soon. I can work but my private life suffers a lot. I don’t want to see anybody nor do I want do sports, etc.

[Mr_steevee]

Third day off - still feel like sh**.
Very emotional. I had some childhood memories which caused my heart aching, not physically but emotionally.

[Mr_steevee]

Cycle 8 - Day 4

So today is the first day I feel quite okay I would say. At least compared to the last days.
I am still emotionally a bit numb and also very unmotivated to do sports.

[Mr_steevee]

Cycle 9 - Day 1

I am starting to feel better. It took me long enough I guess. The interest in meeting people is still not that high but at least I am a bit more „functional“ which is a good thing :-) My mood is getting better and the frustration/depression is slowly fading out.

[Mr_steevee]

Cycle 9 - Day 3
Got a bit tired of ocean waves and switched to trickling stream. Other than that: I had some crazy dreams which I cannot remember.

I am feeling much better now. Incredible that it’s already cycle 9.. time went by so quickly

[Mr_steevee]

Cycle 9 - Day 6
Weird. The last two days were the exact opposite of many days before.
My confidence blasts through the roof and my socializing skills are at max. I was at a family party yesterday and everybody told me how nice it was talking to me.

[ncbeareatingman]

Cycle 9 - Day 6
Weird. The last two days were the exact opposite of many days before.
My confidence blasts through the roof and my socializing skills are at max. I was at a family party yesterday and everybody told me how nice it was talking to me.

 Steve Bold as Love, Rockin it with da courage and moving forward. go head Fred!!

[Mr_steevee]

Thank you again for you kind words @ncbeareatingman . I actually never really had a very strange urge to quit although I can’t deny that I thought of it.
I had no major breakthroughs (at least on a concious Level) the last few days BUT I recently notice very frequently that my thought patterns have changed. Lot’s of small wtf moments lol. It changed very subtle so that I have to pay a lot of attention to notice. Btw recently I got a lot of attention from women. I don’t know if that’s TID of DMSI although I don’t Plan running it for now lol