Mojam's E2 Journal

[mojamhaque]

Your time has finally arrived.

?? Would you please explain?

You can feel urself becoming stronger emotionally. It might fluctuate from time to time but you can feel it. It's there. U feel it don't u? The Strength within you.

To me the feelings are variable.. sometime feels very strength in mind and sometimes very fearful and tension. Yet not stable. For example Today there is a tension irritating me which is "If I don't anymore then what will happen to my family? How they will survive? How can I do better for them? How can I ensure their future? Is there any way?" Uncertainty filled me... My feel is I am failed in everywhere of my life..

Yet don't know when my good days will come... Always will think positively... Will be able to face every complexity with confidence..

Actually last few months I lost some of my close relatives-
1. My Mother
2. After 46 days of my mothers death My cousin
3. After 5/6 days of my cousin death My colleague
4. Then within 2/3 days of colleagues death received the death news of one of my known uncle
5. After few days received the news of one of my grand father

After those death I became very fearful and occasionally such feel comes fill myself...

Another problem is my financial crisis... This suffered me entire life... I don't want to get anymore financial tension but seems maximum time it fills me and disturbing me..

I know nobody knows about the future but I just want some certainty of future.. certainty of life.. stability of mental, emotional & physical health.

@Zane do you know about any medicine that will help me remain away from those fears or tension?