11-29-2014, 09:54 AM
Day 90
I've had great night, went our partying with my friends and ended up hanging up with my friend and even trying to pick something up. However in one sphere my morale took huge hit. You see, the reason why I'm talking quite a lot about AM recently is because I'm trying to bet into this alpha mindset already. More thoughts than actions so far, but I'm having much easier time maintaining eye contact for example, I'm more confident and I care very little of what people think.
Anyhow at this party the was this girl. 10/10 for me, 7/10 for most of you I guess (I don't like using such scales anyway, it's almost offensive). She was with friendzoned beta, but it wasn't the issue. Problem was I had no balls whatsoever to even talk with her. The only thing I've done was catching some eye contact which always ended with her smiling and turning her attention elsewhere. I feel ashamed of myself, not because I passed a chance that almost seemed manifested (if you believe in those sorts of things, I have doubts), but because of how I acted. I have my justifications as I wasn't at my best, but main factor was fear and this unworthiness I feel. Well, to be honest I acted like alpha, I'm such a value she should have approached me, her loss
I've had great night, went our partying with my friends and ended up hanging up with my friend and even trying to pick something up. However in one sphere my morale took huge hit. You see, the reason why I'm talking quite a lot about AM recently is because I'm trying to bet into this alpha mindset already. More thoughts than actions so far, but I'm having much easier time maintaining eye contact for example, I'm more confident and I care very little of what people think.
Anyhow at this party the was this girl. 10/10 for me, 7/10 for most of you I guess (I don't like using such scales anyway, it's almost offensive). She was with friendzoned beta, but it wasn't the issue. Problem was I had no balls whatsoever to even talk with her. The only thing I've done was catching some eye contact which always ended with her smiling and turning her attention elsewhere. I feel ashamed of myself, not because I passed a chance that almost seemed manifested (if you believe in those sorts of things, I have doubts), but because of how I acted. I have my justifications as I wasn't at my best, but main factor was fear and this unworthiness I feel. Well, to be honest I acted like alpha, I'm such a value she should have approached me, her loss
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
