Magnus' journey to a life of positivity

[Ryan]

JIMBO, if you plan to use WM, do it now! I'm telling you, I'm amazed at how social and less socially anxious I am. I haven't been this free in a long long time. And networking to me, is a lot of fun. I was terrified of this life before starting lol.

Ryan

[Ryan]

Also, Carpe Diem helped me when I first started Alpha to let go of anticipation anxiety and just do it. I was more social at this time in my life, too. But I can't really compare it to now, I don't remember all of it that far back.

Ryan

[Magnus]

Cheers Guys. I've decided to look for a place that isn't so crowded but still very social. That place was just to far out of my comfort zone that it made me jump right back inside myself and feel so unbelievably uncomfortable. As for the social anxiety its coming and going a bit depending on the situation. Surprisingly its worse with people that I know from along time ago but haven't seen in a while. Its worse with them than with new people. I think a lot of it relates back to the fact that I was always so passive and quiet in the past with them and I haven't let go of that.

Back to RNW. I've noticed lately that i'm alot more accepting of change now and generally been a lot happier in life and a lot more relaxed. I have the odd down day but most of the time i'm pretty happy. Some of the happiest I've been in my life. I've also started to really let go of expectations as well from subs and aren't so worried about things that are going on with my life. Which is such a change.

I've been a lot more calmly assertive as well instead of just being angry. I had an interesting comment from my boss as well. I'm a manager and have to deal with staff all the time but this one time my boss heard me dealing with a staff member who wasn't performing and came over to commend me on how well I handled the situation saying that he would have lost his cool but I was able to stay calm and not get emotions involved while still being very direct.

I've also noticed I almost get an intuitive sense to where my issues lay without having to analytically dissect then all the time. Theres a few things that have come up. Self confidence and Fear of rejection being two of them. I've realized that what I once thought was fear of abandonment stems from fear of rejection. I'm not sure how these came up but it was like I just knew and then all the evidence for them fell into place kind of like my subconscious telling me what was up and where I needed to work on.

So with that I've decided to keep RNW to 2 months then do 2 months ASC 5G before starting alpha. I still believe very strongly that RNW has helped so much with my stubbornness and complete and utter aversion to change

EDIT: I would love to run WM but unfortunately I know I need to work through ASC and AM5 first but at this point in time WM is next on my list after AM5. Also have had a lot more random women smiling at me lately not to sure what thats about buts its pretty cool but at the same time really don't care as much at the moment

[Magnus]

So i'm now on day 33 the longest I've ever done a single sub and lifes been going well. I had a horrible day yesterday which bore down to a combination of things hearing from my ex (Got to say with the peace I feel now this doesn't affect me), Work being so ridiculously busy and having a very rough therapy session. The interesting thing was while it wore me out I was quite quickly able to bounce back from the experience.

I've also had people that haven't seen me in a little while saying how much more at peace I seem within myself and the more I think about it the more I realise that some massive internal changes have gone on. More and more people are smiling at me as well and everything in life just seems a bit more manageable.

The only downside is at times I lost some of my drive to move forward and am still held back by fear in a lot of cases but this is where ASC should help greatly.


I would highly recommend both RNW + Gratitude for anyone who is wanting that sense of inner peace and for developing a sense of feeling comfortable within your own skin.

EDIT: Another thing I've noticed as well is that i'm much more in touch with my emotions. If someone asks what I am feeling at the time I am easily able to give an intuitive answer and that in its self is freeing and has allowed me to start to connect with people beyond just a superficial level

[Ryan]

I get quite the same results on Gratitude, I love it Glad you are enjoying it!

Ryan

[Magnus]

Gratitudes been great can't wait for the 4G version to come out will be even better

So had some resistance come up the last few days combined with a bad week at work and a few other things its been pretty rough so have handled it quite well really.

I've had a lot coming up around rejection and being pushed to try and deal with it. I do believe this is what brings up any neediness I have as well as being the cause for a lot of my stresses in life at this present point in time. While some of it has been dealt with through AM i've still got a way to go. I've also had a fair amount of self doubt coming into play. I was almost to the point where I was going to switch over to ASC. I know the 5G version is going to make a big difference in my life. Having read both Matts and Mangos experiences of it im really looking forward to running it but I am going to complete my 60 days with RNW + Gratitude. I've noticed lately stuff has just been coming out of my mouth that I wouldn't usually say. Putting my foot down in certain situations and at times over stepping the line. This has pissed a few people off and generally people who seem to have low confidence levels are liking me a lot less lately.

[Magnus]

DAY 44 RNW + Gratitude

So i've been stuck in a rut. To be honest i've been stuck in a rut most of my life so its nothing new. The only time I think I was out of it was when I was on anti depressants a few years back. In saying that I put all my energy towards women and socializing. I also made a fair few friends and met a few women during this time but my work suffered greatly.

I know it is fears that hold me back which I think the anti depressants hid last time but I have refused to hide them away again as its not the way forward. I like the idea of fear destruction in subs as I really do think that is a key concept along with always taking action.

I think RNW has given me a lot more clarity on life, where I am and where I want to be and whats holding me back. I am a lot more relaxed with life in general and apart from social anxiety don't get anxiety anything like I used to. I've begun to understand why people have been saying my whole life you have so much potential but you don't use it. I'm starting to see these qualities in me but still know the fear is holding me back. I think ASC is going to make a big difference here.

Work is going well though I get pissed off with people there but when it is appropriate. They are sending me on a training course in a few months to learn SCRUM based Project Management as well which is cool.

I've been tossing up what subs to use in the future. I definitely want to use WM 5G so at the moment my list is ASC -> AM5 -> WM although i'm wondering if I just do a refresher of AM11 then move onto WM to get over social issues.

Something else I've realized lately is women never really feature in my journal anymore as a topic its more about my life. This is a vast change from the last 3-4 years of my life. Also up until the last 2 weeks I hadn't really been watching TV or playing games or anything that distracted from life.

Well got 16 more days left with this combo then its onto ASC. It was different to what I expected but in general I don't put myself down as much (i'm objective without being to hard on myself) and i'm generally more relaxed with life not falling into the anxiety trap as much. So i've got a much more solid base to stand on.

EDIT: One last thing. I'm not sure why this has happened but i'm now able to give without expecting anything in return and god its a freeing feeling. The first time in my life I have ever had this. Just little things like today I asked my parents if they wanted me to get them a coffee when I went up the road to grab one and i've been cooking dinner etc lately. I just realized today I wasn't concerned what I got back and haven't been for a while. I like the feeling of just being able to give freely

[Sean]

I've been tossing up what subs to use in the future. I definitely want to use WM 5G so at the moment my list is ASC.-> AM5 -> WM although i'm wondering if I just do a refresher of AM11 then move onto WM to get over social issues.

Shannon recently posted to my journal "Worry about self confidence after you finish AM. It's in there." It sounds to me like you can skip ASC and jump right into AM5. If you're wondering whether you need to repeat AM5, I'd say you do. Alphas don't usually wonder about such things.

[Shannon]

Jim, AM 2011 has nothing on AM 5.0. I am constantly stunned at how good this thing is. I start Stage 3 tomorrow... and I am stunned at the changes it's making in me. I was worried that it was going to kill my socializing after SM 2.0, but it's actually made me more social. Social anxiety is almost completely gone, in fact I really can't say almost anymore. It's just natural now for me to go have dinner and do things, even if I am alone (which I usually am).

By the way I am building a single stage fear destroyer right now partly because I need to develop that aspect of the script addition for WM 2.0, and partly because I believe it will be a very important program. It should be up later today or tomorrow.

[Magnus]

Thanks Shannon and Sean.

You're swinging me towards AM5 I should say my social anxiety isn't at the level of I can't go out anywhere by myself. I'm quite regularly out by myself for lunch or dinner or whatever. That is one thing AM11 did help me with but on top of that it turned my life around from verging on suicidal and not being able to work to doing well at work and not putting up with anyones bull****. I'm also over my fear of moving out. Oh and i'm actually surprisingly ok with just being by myself now. Its weird though its like some of AM's effects have taken until now to kick in RNW probably helped with that as well.

I didn't find AM11 helped a lot in the social department though as in meeting new people and effortlessly conversing with them.

The main thing I have at the moment is recreating my social circle that I let diminish over the years. I literally have to start from scratch again and am struggling with that. Thats my main goal over the next 6 months which is where I thought WM 2.0 would play in well but if AM5 is there for that then I can get in there

I also want to be able to head off overseas as well and being able to create a new social circle easily would make doing that a piece of cake.

You made WM2.0 way to enticing Shannon

EDIT: Love the idea of a single stage fear destroyer as well. Would come very much in handy

[Shannon]

For socializing AM 5.0 has "supportive friend manifestation" built in, and WM is just... well, it's all about social. It's also going to have a lot of focus on fear destruction built in. If you've already run AM, either one is a good choice.

As for AM 2011 and socializing... it wasn't designed to be social. You also have to remember that you don't get to the roof without going through all the floors below it, first.

[Magnus]

Thanks Shannon.

AM11 was exactly what I needed it to be at that time it threw me to hell and back resistance wise but also forced me to face some deep dark fears and pushed me into a more stable space in life.

Ok sounds good WM2.0 may well be the way to go for my socializing goal although i'd definitely run though AM5 afterwards. I just love some of the things that have been put into WM like limitlessness and loving women, EIP and general socializing of course. I was talking to my brother a while back hes what you would call a natural and asked him how he does it his reply was I just fall in love with a women on the spot and I know I will have her.

Just a couple of things if doing WM would it be fine to run it after 3 months off AM or should I run a refresher? Also you may have mentioned this elsewhere but when is the planned release date for WM?

EDIT: Also is it common for some of the effects of AM to actually increase over the months of finishing it. I've found that has been happening to me.

[Shannon]

I recommend no more than a month between AM and WM if possible. If not, run a refresher stage for a month.

WM's expected release date is listed in the description. I am expecting it to be ready by September 14th.

[Magnus]

So have started listening to AM refresher before kicking into women magnet.

Its amazing how quickly things change within just a day or two. I had the feelings of motivation coming back as well as people continually asking my advice. I also went to acting class last night this was the first time I have been while listening to AM and they commented on how much more confident I seemed and how I could get into character so quickly. Also had the usual arguments with my mum. Whats weird about this is she had been really non argumentative since stopping listening to AM then literally only a few days of listening she had changed that to being highly argumentative even without me saying a thing.

The only other thing I have noticed is the feeling of not knowing who I am and the anxiety that comes with that.