Magnus' journal

[Magnus]

So a lot of stuff has come up over the last while since seeing my ex.

For one its shown me how far I've come but its also shown me how far I have left to go and also reiterated the fact that for now I want to remain single.

I've also changed my view on what being alpha really is. Its not about being a jerk but more about being comfortable with who you are. You can be compassionate with people but at the same time not let people walk all over you. Its a way of being not a way of acting like I did for so long. Its about being emotionally mature and having the courage to face your deepest fears.

For this I have been of Anti depressants for a while now as I found they masked my fears and am now trying to face those fears with strength and courage and for once in my life I actually feel like I can stare them in the face and be scared but stand strong at the same time.

Shannon a question stage 3 will that help deal with a fear of being alone and also not feeling good enough even further?

I know stage 2 was touching on that with a dream that came up last night where my ex gave me a bit of paper that said everything she wanted in a guy and everything where I didn't measure up. The thing was that I could just read the titles and nothing else. I know this was due to the very deeply held belief that I'm not good enough