(10-05-2017, 08:39 AM)Raikahoken Wrote: Hi Duke, firstly I want to thank you for your latest post. I have indeed been thinking about what kind of woman would suit me and what sexuality means to me, and your post was awesome. I have a question for you. I am almost finished with the story of O. How did reading the story of O, or all those other books, help you realise your sexuality? Did you find yourself desiring that kind of woman like O? Did you see yourself in the characters, maybe sir Stephen? What makes the story of O so special to you?
Hey Man, all great questions. I want to give you a great answer, but, what I say may fall short of your expectations. That being said...
I first learned of the story of O from reading the first few pages of the Dark Room. There was a quote from O in the book. I then stopped reading The Dark Room and instead opted to read O.
I was about 20 years old when I read it, and it did change many views about myself and understanding what sexuality meant to me.
As you read O, who do you think had the real power in the relationship; Sir Stephen for being the dominating one, or O for submissing to every one of Sir Stephen's whims?
Most would say the power was in Stephen's hands, but I think the power really rested with O. I say this because the journey was one that O took. Not Sir Stephen. He only participated as a character in her arc.
Throughout the process of her self discovery, she learned what her sexuality meant to her, and ultimately all the glories and fantasies of all the men there, were based on her whim. Their pleasures were dependent on her willingness to submit.
This ultimately is the dynamic that all men wrestle with throughout their lives. Women understand and use their sexuality. Men, being who we are, gravitate towards that sexuality. Rarely do we understand what that sexuality means for ourselves.
If I could make it as generalized as possible, women have used sexuality to enhance their power - think a Femme Fatale. Men, have used our strength, it's why being Alpha is so important for us. But, being Alpha does not translate to sexuality in the same way.
You may not agree with this next statement, but if there was one performer, who at his height embraced his sexuality, and always had it as a matter of fact throughout his career, it was Prince.
The guy was 5'5 tall, wasn't much of a looker, yet he made women soak themselves wet with desire. He understood something innately about himself that translated to how he interacted with the world around him.
I believe that all men have that same power, that same energy that we can channel. But, to enhance that energy, we have to embrace those parts of ourselves. I don't think that embrace is a natural thing for men. Mostly because, we identify with masculinity more than anything else.
The biggest thing that I think happens when you own your sexuality is you come to the knowledge that you will, to put it crudely, be the f*ck of a woman's life. That happens when you own your sexual frame with such ferocity that she has no choice but to adhere to it.
Let me tell you, when that happens, nothing is off-limits and the term raw sex takes on a new meaning.
I referenced some of this in my previous 3.1 journal, accessing that primal aspect of yourself. I think part of that primal aspect also conforms to the idea of realized inner sexuality.
I'm not sure if I answered your question completely, but I am grateful that both you and Plouf raised the question. The more I try to verbalize my thoughts, the clearer and more tangible the core of these feelings are becoming.
