MHS - My Experience

[Life]

It is going to be that you will need to find the right format for you. It may be that masked or ultrasonic works better than hybrid. More powerful does not always mean better. Spend a week with each one and see what works best for you.

But having increased heartburn and the other things you have told me about yourself and your experiences strongly suggests gastric focus of expression of and dealing with fear, and if you were trying to resist a sub for healing... what better way than to make it seem to be doing more damage than good, through the channel of focus that is the digestive tract?

I think you should try to understand what it is you fear, and why it is focused through the digestive system. I'm going to hazard a guess and say you fear loss of control of yourself...

Shannon, aren't you a control freak? You're response is probably going to be only when necessary, balance is key. The areas which to control and go with a flow is quite grey. Even you haven't got it all figured out. Advice you gave does seem valid but i'm left to believe only Resjudicata knows wether it's a fear based reaction or he's simply just having a stomach ach.

Don't you get frustrated when you choose control over going with the flow

My brain has been thinking about this a lot and it has activated the philosophical part of my mind which is examining this and applying logic (yay philosophy degree, I don't know what use you have otherwise but you got me into law school ). The statement "fear of loss of control" doesn't resonate with me. The statement is too general to work. My immediate response is "loss of control of what?"

I love roller coasters. When you ride a roller coaster, you are not in control of the ride. You cannot decide the speed or to get off once it's started. You have no control while you are on the ride. Yet I enjoy that unique experience. My favorite time on a coaster was within the last year where, for the first time, I rode a coaster that the car spins somewhat, independently of how the track turns. It was both a novel and mildly unnerving experience as you feel G-forces from a different direction than you normally do on a coaster. If there was a pattern to the turning, I couldn't see it as some cars would arrive backwards from how they started, while others would arrive in the same direction they started the ride. Now one could try to argue that in the case of a roller coaster I'm choosing to not be control. The problem is that I'm still not in control on the ride which means it cannot be a generalized fear of a lack of control but a more specific one if control is involved at all.

Even when examining the anxieties I've had in the past that AM6 and the healing parts of DMSI have helped me with are generally with regards to a fear of the unknown and my avoidance of pain/negative experiences. I didn't want to do something I needed to do but had no experience with before because I didn't want to make myself look like an idiot or say something stupid. I didn't want to approach women because they would turn me down or lie to me, like the few times I'd approached in the past. A simpler example was with restaurant selection. I didn't want to go out to places I'd never been before or try new things because the pessimistic side of me said that it would turn out bad. Now I'm more open about trying new things and new places but I still have a bit of a utilitarian approach. There are certain restaurants that I order the same thing every time I go there because I know that food is what gives me the greatest enjoyment there.

The only thing I could think of that may be interfering, now that I'm being highly reflective, is that the normal grasp I have on my identity of who I am is being held too tightly by my unconscious mind and it is refusing to allow change. Maybe the "control" that's fighting is the control of identity. The easy example I can think of is when I used to mess around a little with hypnosis many years ago (curiosity and boredom plus internet equals finding lots of random things, like Indigo Mind Labs ). Whenever I used to listen, I'd have to make sure whatever I listened to didn't have an amnesia component anywhere in the induction or anywhere throughout the file because one of my core beliefs is that we are a sum of our memories. To remove a memory, rather than possibly alter it such that you focused on what you learned from that negative experience or use some method to distance oneself from the emotion of the moment, is to wholly alter the person such that they are not who they used to be. The same applies to positive or neutral memories. Any hypnosis file that had an amnesia suggestion anywhere within it always hit a brick wall and instantly broke the trance and brought me back to full awareness.

Now, maybe something from that is actually useful to someone. Just wish I could figure out what to do if the resistance IS based on changes that are happening too close to what one would describe as "core" beliefs or sense of identity or if I'm resisting because of another reason.

Also,
Day 6
Heartburn seems under control and I don't seem to be having many problems. Hard to tell if sub is working but I already feel better physically but it's hard to tell whether that's because my esophagus is not on fire or the work of the sub. I also have a greater desire to work out, although that seemed to start the day before I started the sub (and died in an acidy fire for a few days). Maybe I should steal from another poster and find me a boxing or kickboxing place. I always enjoyed the practice, but never was really interested in the actual fighting aspect of it. Took a class in college on kickboxing and it was one hell of a workout.

Are you serious, you have a degree in philosophy. I have recently been thinking I should go back to school to be a philosophy professor maybe. Think it's worth it?

I think the food issue is also tied into what other people think. Did you waste time going to a new restaurant. Kind of like seeing a movie you're not interested. Sure theres some benefit you can find but people will say if YOU'RE not interested why bother going?

It's normally healthy to be reflective. Everyone is. Think there is a rare amount of people who actually resist subs. I think this is a major issue Shannon needs to clarify because it seems like a looming dark cloud that people think "oh things didn't go perfectly I must be resisting" then negativity sets in and is projected through posts here