LionMonkeys journey to become more of a real man with AM2011

[LionMonkey]

Yay, I got a star! I've been keeping up with my decision and it feels great!


Stage 3 - Day 23,


Recently past the 1-2 weeks, I have become less social. Actually quite surprising how I've been lately.

Up side is, I don't doubt myself and if I do talk with someone, I'm not very interested in talking much. I use very few words and when I think back this Saturday night...

I was out with some buddies and throughout the night I wasn't much social at all. I have no idea why I don't feel like talking with people. There was two points throughout the night, 1. where a guy would place his arm close to my seat and as I put my arm back I had it over his. I said, "dude.. I'm sitting here." and he moved his arm.. which afterwards I could hear him whine like a little girl to his friend.

2. My row of seat was pretty tight now since there was quite many people. This party dude, who had just bought some shots to the table beside me, slits through and sits between me and a girl, which he knew.. cramped.. he was moving around and he turned and said, "aren't those cool glasses?" (he had some fancy sunglasses on).. and I said, "yes they are.. but dude. stop moving".

he was like.. "yeah sure.. we are just having fun huh..?" and I was like.. yeah.. but stop moving..
he offers me a shot, I take it with a little hesitation and I kinda killed his mood.

At a point I went to the toilet and there was a queue and I turned and looked at a dude and he said, "sorry" and I looked at him and was like wtf? why are you saying that?


Now this part is like.. people see me intimidating?


As far as with the girls that night; more eye-contact than usually. I held myself pretty strong that night.. maybe too strong.. but anyways, at a point I was bored and there was this girl sitting beside my friend at another table. I touched her lightly and said, "I'm bored.. why don't you come over here and talk?", which she replied, "I.. I can't. I'm with this company." no big deal. I see her get hit on by guys throughout the night.

So me and my buddies were at that bar for like 3 hours. I told them to go and that they shouldn't wait for me so they went on to another place.
I talk with a girl from the group. Nothing interesting, so I leave.

On my way over to my buddies, there was this little stall, with a cute girl and a crazy elderly woman. I bought a pancake with melted chocolate and banana, and this cute girl hands me it and says, "You look really really cute." I was unaffected but thanked her. Talked for a several seconds and assumed that she got an invitation from me.. she offered me her number but picked up her phone, which I said, "I'll just give you my number", and she entered it and asked for my name and then she said, "I'll let you know a night, when I'm not working".

What a bold girl.. I have met girls compliment me straight out before but I thought.. she's cool and she's saying I'm cute while the guys are signaling me that I am intimidating? lol


Is there anyone who also had been quite withdrawn socially in the midst of Stage 3?


- LM

[Shannon]

We've said it again and again... women love a confident man. And who's more confident than an alpha? Of course, other males will either consider an alpha equal, or more likely, intimidating/superior. So while you're intimidating the guys, the women will start coming out of the woodwork.

And yes, AM does mess with your socializing a bit. It's a side effect of instilling a disconnection from what others think of you.

[LionMonkey]

Thanks for the clarification.

It is really fascinating, how being alpha naturally unfolds upon you.. sometimes I don't even notice it and I'm sure it is also because of the neediness that's taken away that makes it so natural.

[Ryan]

I was withdrawn up until stage 4 in AM...and I'm more withdrawn in SM too. It goes away...

RYan

[LionMonkey]

Stage 3 - Day 30, 2 days left!! I can't wait to start stage 4 and see what kind of crazy shit is gonna happen!!!!!!!!


It's funny.. after I wrote about the scenario with guys being intimidated by me, things changed.
Towards the end of Stage 3 I felt more likely to talk. Not talk like.. much boring small-talk but just socializing a bit more and people became more comfortable with me.

I realized that I needed to show some vulnerability because I was coming off too strong, without really being aware of it.
(Maybe I had some resistance, which could have affected me, to be kind of a douche sometimes)...

Besides the improvement in the awareness of being more human, I am getting better at prioritizing my time in myself much more. When there's a person I'm talking to, I'll intuit that my time is valuable and I'll just do whatever I want and if the person have something to say, they have to say it now or else I am gone (or do not care, because I am in the middle of something). It is unless I am hanging out with the person, there are other things to consider in the context of social dynamics and the kind of relationship we have.

Though I'm much more careless, I do find it backfiring from time to time, when there's a girl I find interesting but somehow I just find it strange if she doesn't leave what she's doing and join me and I'll just leave her when we could have been interacting more and a more excellent outcome would come out of it (not that it matters much).


- LM

[LionMonkey]

Recap of Stage 3, what I can think of right now;

Pro(s); Much more awareness of when people are trying to impress. Also much more awareness of how things affects me, while I also have improved on being better at controlling myself.. much better.

Con(s); Some dizziness and tiredness when waking up by the end of this stage...



Stage 4 - Day 1,


Going out to watch a movie with a buddy soon.

[LionMonkey]

Stage 4 - Day 5,


It's weird. I don't know if it is resistance.. I've felt slightly un-easy after a couple of days in stage 4.

I am also better at doing things that I want BUT just before I do the things or while I am doing the things, I get this inner conflict.. it's like doubt and as written above, un-easiness/nervousness. (I had very little of that in the ending of stage 3)

Even though there are those conflicts, I will usually still do it. Hmm besides that, I have less of those self-talk analysis crap, after something I did. Also it's easier to let go of things...

The thing is for me right now is; I don't know if things has really changed yet. People talk and look at me more frequently I think and women will sometimes just stare at me, like crazy.. I find it flattering.. but my life is still pretty much the same.. like same social circle people I hang out with and just going to school....
Not that it's boring but I would like to see something that is clearly changed.

Maybe it's just me.. people have told me throughout my life, that I should be getting [insert positive things] because I am this great guy and I have a lot of potential etc...

So I might just go with the flow.. it just feels like there's something missing sometimes...

It might be adventure.. or just do some stupid shit and take whatever the consequences are in my daily life......


gonna put my head to sleep... tomorrow starts boring (only upside is the hot teacher), then action and passion, and then fun!!!!!!

[Ryan]

Stage 4 - Day 5,


It's weird. I don't know if it is resistance.. I've felt slightly un-easy after a couple of days in stage 4.

I am also better at doing things that I want BUT just before I do the things or while I am doing the things, I get this inner conflict.. it's like doubt and as written above, un-easiness/nervousness. (I had very little of that in the ending of stage 3)

Even though there are those conflicts, I will usually still do it. Hmm besides that, I have less of those self-talk analysis crap, after something I did. Also it's easier to let go of things...

The thing is for me right now is; I don't know if things has really changed yet. People talk and look at me more frequently I think and women will sometimes just stare at me, like crazy.. I find it flattering.. but my life is still pretty much the same.. like same social circle people I hang out with and just going to school....
Not that it's boring but I would like to see something that is clearly changed.

Maybe it's just me.. people have told me throughout my life, that I should be getting [insert positive things] because I am this great guy and I have a lot of potential etc...

So I might just go with the flow.. it just feels like there's something missing sometimes...

It might be adventure.. or just do some stupid shit and take whatever the consequences are in my daily life......


gonna put my head to sleep... tomorrow starts boring (only upside is the hot teacher), then action and passion, and then fun!!!!!!

Stage 4 for me! Funny thing is, I'm going through the same shit in SM. It seems stage 4 always makes me doubt/contemplate things. It kicks your ass a little ;P

Ryan

[LionMonkey]

Went to school and saw the people in the class-room and realized that I had to meet 4 hours later than I did LOL. Besides that, I felt my walk was bad-ass, natural.. like 'whats up?'

Funny thing is, that after have listened to Stage 4 the first night, I had just dropped in to a class, where people have known each other for 3 months. Just 10 minutes before the class was starting, I just had to get myself to the toilet and calm myself.. I was feeling SO uneasy. Long time since I have been so nervous and insecure about myself. Another thing that I've noticed is, that people usually can't see the uneasiness and the nervousness. They may sense it a little but not much.

Ryan, glad it's not just me. I had the doubts!
Now I'm curious what kind of stuff will happen throughout this stage with the un-easiness from time to time....

[Ryan]

You know, I had that uneasiness like crazy too during both Alpha Male and starting Sex Magnet. But it does go away. And after stage 4, you'll be seeing some huge results =)

Ryan

[LionMonkey]

You know, I had that uneasiness like crazy too during both Alpha Male and starting Sex Magnet. But it does go away. And after stage 4, you'll be seeing some huge results =)

Ryan

lol.. can't wait for that!!


Stage 4 - Day 6,


Last night I was at this party and for the first time in a loooong time, I didn't drink. Half of the people there was some old friends I haven't seen in a while and other half was people some of them knew.

As always I get the best welcome from my friends when I enter the room.. screaming my name.. loud friends My friends was like, "great to see you again!!" all the time.. it was actually really ridicules. LOL.
I get introduced to some people and I am just going humble about it.
Making some fun here and there and going around but not feeling very social and didn't talk much.. not that I really cared about it.

Most of the time, I either was talking with a buddy, or I was kinda just walking around or I was sitting and looking/gazed around the room. A girl asked me to come over and asked who I was.. I think she tried to test me but I was just being myself.. she gave me some compliments and was apologetic over one, which she thought maybe was offending to me.. she was cute and beautiful but not really my type (I noticed that girls were looking when we interacted). Had some fun but then began talking some boring stuff, which usually turns me off. So I saw her rings and took her soft hand and asked about them.. then it kinda died out, when she talked about her ex-bf (also my own fault).. so I told her I had to get some more vodka (water ). (In between the interaction I had with this cute girl, another girl (too large to me) who is a really cool chick, came and sat in between us )

Had some eye-contacts with another girl..

Flowing to the dance-floor, the girl I interacted with came up and danced with me.

Funny thing is, I can't really remember what happened in that period, even though I've only had few baileys shots.

At some point throughout the night, I felt totally out of it. Probably because the flow had stopped and the party was only going one way.. downwards.. well, at least that's what I felt.
When I think about it, it's actually very common that I always get the greatest welcome but into the night, I kinda disappear a little.
I've tried to move around and dance a little but it just didn't feel right you know.. when I felt that disappearing, women would actually not really see me or just intuited that they shouldn't look..

When I got out from the party and got some fresh air and just did my own thing I had suddenly much more presence. I felt pretty good and began talking, singing, laughing and smiling for myself like when I was on the way to the party...


I've realized what confidence is really more about and that being cute isn't what I thought it was. It's a HUGE change in my belief system, since I've always had a bit more of over the top / arrogant attitude. I think I still do have some old habits that shows that attitude but with the change in my belief so far.. women have been much more open to me and they've been touching me more than ever (while I am still maintaining my own confidence), since I began high-school and just read into the community crap. Also guys just respect me more and usually greets me in one way or other


- LM

[LionMonkey]

Stage 4 - Day 7,


I've become much more socially 'fit' you could say.

Last night I were at my buddy's cafe and we warmed up there.. getting a great vibe going on and headed into the town.

We end up in a bar.. still great vibe. Lots of people in there. We was looking for some seats, so I say hello to some girls, which they replied favorably and smiley. Then I said just spontaneously, "you girls look fantastic" and they ignored me and talked with each other.

Eventually we get some seats. I walk up to get another round for us three and gets to talk to some spanish people, a petite, cute spanish girl who didn't understand what I said but wanted to lol.
Time passes. Few people left in the bar. This stunning, really cute tall brunette walks in a sits at another table with some occupied blonds.

A douche who was sitting behind her talks to her. When he stopped I took the seat beside her, said honestly what I felt and she said she have a boyfriend, which then I replied with, "then we have to be discreet " and she said, "I wont cheat on my boyfriend. I'm sorry but I'm really flattered".

It didn't matter. This girl was really open, authentic and cute and she was also the only cool girl that I noticed.. So I'm standing with my buddies and she joins in for a little chatter. Suddenly the douche come up beside her and says that she's in his way and kept saying it and then she left to the bathroom. She looked a little pissed off.

She comes back but sits at her table, the opposite from the douche. I caught her looking once at me but looked away quickly. So I joined her again and interacted openly, sincerely with her and some hugging in between. Suddenly I hear, "Are you guys going to get married or something?" it was the douche.
I had enough of him, so I turned, gave him the finger, shouted HEY! and looked at him dead on like.. you want to die or something? / fuck off!
The douche was like.. 'ok ok' and I didn't heard anything more from him. (I even gave him my hand earlier that night before this girl walked in just for the sake of the good vibe I had going ) So I smoothly get my attention back on this lovely girl..

The lights got turned on suddenly and the bar was going to close. The girl just told me what she was really interested in and I just stood up and then she said, "wait.. what do you do?" which I stupidly replied, "talking with you" and I saw her expression of disgust for a moment, while I walked away...

LESSON LEARNED; DON'T PLAY AROUND, BE HONEST AND REAL WHEN SHE'S HONEST WITH YOU THE WHOLE WAY...


- LM

[Shannon]

Or better yet... be honest and real, no matter what. Honesty is one of the single best, fastest, most powerful and effective ways to get a woman interested, simply because a woman who trusts you, will open herself to you. Her trust is the most valuable thing she can offer you, and the biggest compliment any woman has to give a man.

[LionMonkey]

Or better yet... be honest and real, no matter what. Honesty is one of the single best, fastest, most powerful and effective ways to get a woman interested, simply because a woman who trusts you, will open herself to you. Her trust is the most valuable thing she can offer you, and the biggest compliment any woman has to give a man.

I've always liked to play around but I've probably done it in a single-minded way, which I've also written about in the earlier post about confidence.

I get you Shannon.. I think it's very true.. time to take my interactions in a real way