07-26-2011, 05:09 PM
Stage 1 - Day 16,
It's strange. Today I also got the same emptiness feeling as 2 days ago but it was after a day with some friends and having fun and it began when it was night and I was about to go to a bar, where I would had met with my buddy. I called him and said I didn't feel good and I won't really be doing anything fun in a bar tonight and I went home, feeling this strange feeling of emptiness and loneliness.
So I really tried to analyze it this time and feel it out. It wasn't as powerful as the last time. I came to the conclusion that I got this feeling because I was in a situation + venue for too long time, which I didn't really want to be in but I wasn't really aware of it myself until I left and got some fresh great night-air.
Even though, throughout the day with some friends, I got plenty of compliments and positive things thrown at me, I didn't felt heard or loved. It's strange. It's like I am naturally not allowing it, unless it's from pure sincerity and attention and as much as I remember, it has always been like that in my life.
I don't know if this is some kind of resistance from the sub or it's just me but I gotta say I've felt, the consuming darkness I had 2 days ago, before and I wonder if the sub is letting that go away.
Besides that I feel natural changes around me, that AM should do.
Anyways, we'll see what happens throughout the rest of stage 1 and hopefully I wont get a crazy breakdown like the one I had again.
- LM
It's strange. Today I also got the same emptiness feeling as 2 days ago but it was after a day with some friends and having fun and it began when it was night and I was about to go to a bar, where I would had met with my buddy. I called him and said I didn't feel good and I won't really be doing anything fun in a bar tonight and I went home, feeling this strange feeling of emptiness and loneliness.
So I really tried to analyze it this time and feel it out. It wasn't as powerful as the last time. I came to the conclusion that I got this feeling because I was in a situation + venue for too long time, which I didn't really want to be in but I wasn't really aware of it myself until I left and got some fresh great night-air.
Even though, throughout the day with some friends, I got plenty of compliments and positive things thrown at me, I didn't felt heard or loved. It's strange. It's like I am naturally not allowing it, unless it's from pure sincerity and attention and as much as I remember, it has always been like that in my life.
I don't know if this is some kind of resistance from the sub or it's just me but I gotta say I've felt, the consuming darkness I had 2 days ago, before and I wonder if the sub is letting that go away.
Besides that I feel natural changes around me, that AM should do.
Anyways, we'll see what happens throughout the rest of stage 1 and hopefully I wont get a crazy breakdown like the one I had again.
- LM
1. Do whatever you want.. risk whatever your gut tells you because.. you know you have good intentions.
2. Pressure forms the man.
3. Clarity gives space for better decisions.
