LTU: Moving forward

[findingme]

I relate, a lot.

[mat422]

Decided to stick to 5 loops. Anything more than that at night seems to be overload. I'm still using as needed throughout the day. Got home today, ate, laid on my bed for a few seconds just to collect my thoughts, and then I passed out. The next part I couldn't tell if it was a dream or a half conscious state, but I felt this humming feeling in my chest. I've had this before, but it was usually localized to a very small section. This time it felt like it expanded throughout the entire top half of my body. I can only guess it was more fear processing that went deeper once I wasn't conscious.

[mat422]

Had a serious mood swing. Found out one of the engineers at my job got fired. Not because he was slacking, but in their words "too good". This guy moved here with his family under the assumption this would be long term. There's such a disregard there for him as a human being, it makes me sick. I've been talking with this girl at work and she has more direct interaction with the more head guys and she says there's a lot of throwing people under the bus and violation of trust.

It's just, I want to trust people. I try to see the best in people, but really all it ever does is leave me vulnerable for manipulation. I came to learn that the guy that owns this company didn't even build it from the ground up. His rich dad bought it for him. So he has a fundamental lack of understanding of moral or treating employees as human beings, not resources to be exploited and thrown away.

I think I project a lot. Assuming most people are on a journey to self improvement and constant self awareness to be a better person. Essentially that they are like me. I've held onto this view for a while because honestly facing the reality of how some people are fills me with so much sadness. That and I hate being cynical. But there comes a time when its not me being cynical, it's just me accurately reading what's in front of me. Granted I'm not saying everyone is like this and I've given up on faith in humanity, but I need to learn when to take off the Rose colored glasses and admit the truth.

[mat422]

Really having a difficult time determining what's too much vs what I need. Sticking with 5 loops seems to be the safe path. I think about it, but I feel an underlying urge to run LTU more than that. What I'll do is bump it up to 6 loops this week and see how that goes. I think I bit off more than I could chew by jumping in with non stop loops. There's definitely a threshold where if I cross it my body has to calm down, otherwise it becomes harder to integrate the sub.

I guess for now I'm shooting for the optimal amount of loops for me. Even though it's my day off today I'm probably going to listen to LTU a bit while doing some cleaning to keep me focused. My messy room has been stressing me out a bit. If only I could keep things clean, I don't know what it is but I can't maintain cleanliness. It's like my mind defaults to absolute chaos around me. That and I'm still dealing with a low grade sort of depression that make me feel like I only have energy to put towards the things I care about. Cleaning is very low on my list of priorities.

[Shannon]

Slow and steady wins the race. Increase at one loop a day per week sounds reasonable.

[mat422]

Thanks for the input Shannon. It seems I grew a lot this past month and my subconscious is requesting more power. But I still have to be careful not to completely terrify the other part.

Quick question for you. I know a lot of getting the subliminals to work is more about persuasion. So I'm curious to know how increasing the loops does that? Or is it more of a case of strengthening the part that's executing the changes so it overrides the resistant part?

[Shannon]

Thanks for the input Shannon. It seems I grew a lot this past month and my subconscious is requesting more power. But I still have to be careful not to completely terrify the other part.

Quick question for you. I know a lot of getting the subliminals to work is more about persuasion. So I'm curious to know how increasing the loops does that? Or is it more of a case of strengthening the part that's executing the changes so it overrides the resistant part?

Increasing loops seems to create increased perceptory pressure as well as forcibly working the neural pathways that are involved.  What we want is the right balance of input to acceptance.  Increasing input increases perceptory pressure and reinforces those pathways, but going too far too fast can result in overload, overwhelm, overwhelming fear, etc.  You want to gently stretch your limits, not teat yourself a new one.  In other words, you don't start off at the end. We aree attempting to normalize the changes for the resistant parts so they do not resist.

[mat422]

Awesome, thanks for the insight Shannon. This helps me better understand what's going on right now.

[mat422]

So I think my music moved up a notch? I've been visualizing every night before I go to sleep and affirming I can do this. I'm finding myself more open to taking on daunting prospects. For example, right now I'm watching a series on mixing music on youtube. It's a lot of info, but I know it'll make my music that much better and give me more fulfillment. Basically I'm aiming to make my music more 3d. As an electronic musician I have a lot of freedom with how I want my music to come across that isn't reliant purely on notes.

Concepts are coming together more lately. Moments of clarity where I was stuck on a certain section and then realized what was missing. My ability to analyze songs I like and learn from them has gotten better. I suspect before the fear/anxiety was so strong when I listened to a really good piece of music it ruined my focus and ability to pick things apart.

I'm realizing more and more that I always wanted my music to be a certain way or I had a vision for it. But I'd find myself resisting putting in the necessary work to take it there. Along with that being too focused on my comfort zone. The amount of times I've wanted to make more upbeat energy filled dance floor type tracks and then found myself struggling, so I stopped. I would convince myself that it wasn't really what I wanted to make and I'd go back to stuff I was more familiar with. I don't believe that artists should follow the path of least resistance when creating art, it should definitely grow just like the individual. That means trying new things, exploring new concepts, breaking out of familiar habits. I hope as I continue to grow with LTU it becomes easier to venture into these unknown territories with enthusiasm and enjoyment vs fear.

Tonight I begin 6 loops. We'll see how it goes. But overall I've been very focused on manifesting the reality I want. Also taking care to make sure I don't focus on the hard aspects of it. Basically when people say things like living off music is tough, you have to sell out, you have to have a part time job too because it won't pay the bills, turning music into a job will kill the joy of it, you have to be really good for anyone to notice you, etc. There's a laundry list of negative thoughts and beliefs towards music as primary source of income. My main point is I'm not trying to manifest a life where I'm in that struggle, clawing my way through it all. Rather a life of ease and enjoyment, where my music fills me with energy and I'm supported fully in all ways that make me secure. I'm rejecting those ideas that have been drilled into my head since I was young about the "real world". The only "real world" is the one you make for yourself, not someone's narrow definition of what life is like. 

I've been through some rough patches with LTU5 I'm not gonna lie. At times it's made me want to quit, doubt it's doing anything, been skeptical of the whole concept of all this belief restructuring. When you're in those moments of doubt, it's hard not to see it as the truth. It's only when you come out the other side you can see it was an attempt to hold you back. But man are those delusions and doubts strong. For me I felt like I was wasting my life away getting nowhere, I see now a lot was going on underneath I wasn't always consciously aware of.

[Shannon]

Just remember that when others tell you all these negative things about making your music a full time financial income, they aren't telling you "what is real", they are telling you what their own limitations are, and thus what is real for them. The mistake most people make upon hearing these things is to make the same assumptions that the people telling you these things make, which is that they believe that "this is the truth for everybody".  It's not.  It's their truth, because it is what they have accepted as limits to their potential. It will only become your limitation if you accept it as your truth as well.  Which, of course, you do not have to!

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Just remember that when others tell you all these negative things about making your music a full time financial income, they aren't telling you "what is real", they are telling you what their own limitations are, and thus what is real for them. The mistake most people make upon hearing these things is to make the same assumptions that the people telling you these things make, which is that they believe that "this is the truth for everybody".  It's not.  It's their truth, because it is what they have accepted as limits to their potential. It will only become your limitation if you accept it as your truth as well.  Which, of course, you do not have to!

/\

This. So much this. I have lived for 29 years of my life letting those bullshit assumptions about reality shape my existence. I was always married to plan B without even having the balls to formulate a plan A, because I knew Plan A would be something so ambitious, I felt I wouldn't be "realistic" pursuing it. So I spent over a decade since graduating high school either doing nothing, not knowing what to do, trying to formulate a "realistic" life plan" or pursuing plan B, once I had once thought up. Only recently have I decided to come up with a plan A and see that to fruition: Learn to play guitar and do vocals and start a metal band and make a successful living as a musician. This will take precious years I could have been taking at least a decade ago, when I graduated high school, if only I had the balls to not listen to all the people in my life who had told me to "get real" and be accept their bullshit limitations. Don't make my mistakes. If there's one thing I've taken away from all I've come to learn in the past 2 or 3 years, it's that I can do whatever I want. We all can, if we're willing to let go of our limitations. And with the help of these subs and the "Becoming" Method, you've got advantages most people don't have. Don't make my mistakes. Figure out what plan A is and believe in your ability to accomplish it.

[mat422]

@EvolvingPhoenix  Hell yeah man! That's what we need on this forum. Breaking down limits, not just going for success in some predetermined box. We all deserve to live the lives we truly want and to not settle for less.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

That's the spirit!

[mat422]

Damn started the 6 loops last night, I didn't realize how long it would be. I don't think anything past 6 is feasible for me. I get up at 6am everyday. I went to bed at 10 last night and woke up to 15 minutes left of ltu in the morning. So I guess my all night loops I was really doing a few days ago were 6 anyway.

Have to figure out a solution to this. I listen in my room. Most of the time I'm in there about 7-8 working on music.Which I could start listening then, but then if I have to go to the bathroom or something I'll break asrb. I could switch to headphones for that brief period of time but I'd still be pausing the MP3 player to switch it out.