08-11-2019, 08:51 AM
Thanks Shannon. Talking to my online mentor really helped me out a lot with the issues I have over this girl. We determined I'm caught up in a karmic cycle of guilt, projection, punishment and unforgiveness, and that the way out is taking responsibility, which is the opposite of guilt. Realizing that, I realized that whenever these negative feelings about the girl arise, I just say to myself "Okay. I take responsibility for what I did and the consequences it brought. I take responsibility for what I've created and manifested in my life, and I take responsibility for changing it." I went and looked at one of the most hurtful art pieces she did, just to see if this method helps and it does. I was feeling way better looking at this hurtful art piece than the last time, during which I felt anger, resentment, pain, guilt, etc. I didn't feel any of that this time when I looked at it. Or if I did, it was only mild. I told myself: "I take responsibility for the creation of this drawing and the damage to the relationship with this girl that it represent... and I take responsibility for eventually changing it" I take am taking back ownership of my own creation and my power to create. With great power comes great responsibility, so if I just start taking responsibility, I can wield greater power for change. It makes me feel better, because as my mentor said: "Am I creating? If so, I create what I experience, so then I am not a victim (in a higher sense!). Then there is no one to blame or judge. Or I blame and judge, being a victim, but then I cannot be creating, I deny my power to create." That really changed my outlook and made me feel empowered, like "Okay, so I fucked things up really badly before, but if I take responsibility for my power to create and take responsibility for creating that fucked up situation, I can take responsibility for changing whatever I don't like" I've been feeling A LOT better ever since.
