08-05-2019, 05:21 PM
Played one loop during the day today. I thought it would help me feel better, but it just brought on this internal anxiety that wouldn't go away. I'll keep note of how I interact through the week. If I don't adjust to one loop, I'm likely not going to go for two. My theory right now is that as needed is probably better off left for days when I really need it and I'm feeling my worst. I should listen to it until I notice internal tension and back off. I think that internal tension is a signal that my body is hitting it's limit for what it can process. Going along with that I suspect a higher amount of loops are necessary to override that afraid side. So what happens with one full loop is I get enough influence to start focusing internally on things, but not enough to counteract the resistance brought up by my subconscious. So I get stuck in a tug of war that fills me with anxiety.
I think I'm still stuck in the mentality that I have to experience fear and face it, subject myself to it and be strong and fight. But that's never worked in the past, so it probably isn't going to work now. Some days I just feel like crap because some of the things I'm afraid of are ridiculous. Then I try to push myself beyond my current means and burn out.
I think I'm still stuck in the mentality that I have to experience fear and face it, subject myself to it and be strong and fight. But that's never worked in the past, so it probably isn't going to work now. Some days I just feel like crap because some of the things I'm afraid of are ridiculous. Then I try to push myself beyond my current means and burn out.
INFP
