07-27-2019, 10:41 AM
Quick thought I had. You don't need to be 100 % emotionally healed to have a great life. I've been really getting into the whole idea of how reality unfolds around you. I think one of my biggest mistakes is and always has been thinking everything has to be lined up perfectly or just right before things happen. Obviously I'm not abandoning emotional health, but I'm not obsessing on figuring out every little thing anymore before I live my life to the fullest. When you wait until you're 100% in everything you miss out in life. Friends, opportunities, love. etc. In fact I'm opening myself up to the possibility of attracting things in my life that help me grow more and support me in the quest to heal myself. A lot of my anxiety I have around people is due to my insecurities around my flaws as a person. But I cause myself even greater suffering by trying to hide these all the time vs accepting that I'm in a process of growth and it's ok to not be 100% put together.
Self improvement is not an excuse to hide away and wait until you're all better. I'm understanding that now. I was just feeding into the same old avoidant behavior, but because it had a positive slant to it I let it slide. But in a way it wasn't positive at all. Because I constantly beat myself up for not being where I want to be yet and depriving myself of relationships with people until I was "better". I was convinced for their sake and mine it would be better not to be a part of my life.
Yeah heavy stuff coming up today. I couldn't even admit to some of this a few days ago because i'm just that guarded from my own emotional states in general.
Self improvement is not an excuse to hide away and wait until you're all better. I'm understanding that now. I was just feeding into the same old avoidant behavior, but because it had a positive slant to it I let it slide. But in a way it wasn't positive at all. Because I constantly beat myself up for not being where I want to be yet and depriving myself of relationships with people until I was "better". I was convinced for their sake and mine it would be better not to be a part of my life.
Yeah heavy stuff coming up today. I couldn't even admit to some of this a few days ago because i'm just that guarded from my own emotional states in general.
INFP
