07-25-2019, 02:21 PM
Had some insight regarding my music. I've been pushing and pushing to write stuff. To really finish my songs. But it's been draining, I'm not gonna lie. It just occurred to me it's not the process of making music that's draining, it's my fears attached to it. And I've been pushing more to sort of outgrow the fear, when really I should be targeting that fear directly and getting rid of it.
My focus has been very external lately. The obstacles I'm facing or see are really a reflection of my internal fears. Basically a projection. What I'm seeing is not necessarily the path forward, but an interpretation of what moving forward entails through that filter of fear. Right now I'm still stuck in the fear based reality, the external is reflecting that. But I recognize that now and know the true obstacle is the fear I hold within me. Putting my energy into removing those fears and clearing as much as possible should be my main focus.
I can feel the only thing that holds me back now is fear. It's not a question of if the goals of LTU can be achieved and become a part of my reality, but how. That's a pretty big shift. If you had asked me this a few years ago I would have denied I was capable of anything. Now I can see the possibilities, it's just a matter of removing these fear blocks. I think upping to six loops is helping me push past that fear of removing fear. I'm feeling the ability to directly target fear and eliminate it, not subject myself to it or allow it or whatever passive mentality I had in the past. Lots of layered fear though. If I remove fear I get closer to my goals, but also potential failure. It's like I'm protecting myself from stuff, I want it to happen but at the same time I don't.
My focus has been very external lately. The obstacles I'm facing or see are really a reflection of my internal fears. Basically a projection. What I'm seeing is not necessarily the path forward, but an interpretation of what moving forward entails through that filter of fear. Right now I'm still stuck in the fear based reality, the external is reflecting that. But I recognize that now and know the true obstacle is the fear I hold within me. Putting my energy into removing those fears and clearing as much as possible should be my main focus.
I can feel the only thing that holds me back now is fear. It's not a question of if the goals of LTU can be achieved and become a part of my reality, but how. That's a pretty big shift. If you had asked me this a few years ago I would have denied I was capable of anything. Now I can see the possibilities, it's just a matter of removing these fear blocks. I think upping to six loops is helping me push past that fear of removing fear. I'm feeling the ability to directly target fear and eliminate it, not subject myself to it or allow it or whatever passive mentality I had in the past. Lots of layered fear though. If I remove fear I get closer to my goals, but also potential failure. It's like I'm protecting myself from stuff, I want it to happen but at the same time I don't.
INFP
