07-17-2019, 01:46 PM
Gonna keep on with the nonstop loop at night. Wasn't any more tired than usual today and I felt like I was more unshakeable with regards to everything going on. Feels like I'm not fighting for control or trying hard to make myself execute. Starting to wonder if a lot of my difficulty and overthinking as well as trying to figure out the best way to execute was really just because I didn't have enough exposure to just GET me to execute. When LTU is working I'm not thinking, I'm being, my head is a lot less cluttered and it's like I'm in the zone vs the usual fog it feels like. It's like having an epiphany, but I was trying to conceptualize it before and understand it an integrate it somehow but couldn't. As bizarre as this sounds I didn't even realize how much I overanalyze the most basic things. Like I was tying my shoes this morning and it felt different because I trusted myself more to get it right without having to follow each step of the way. I know how ridiculous that seems, but that mentality is universal. Trusting my own mind to guide me to the most efficient way possible with everything without getting in the way out of some fear of making a mistake. I'm feeling this in my music as well, making the right decisions without second guessing and trusting those decisions.
INFP
