07-03-2019, 02:51 AM
My job has just been never-ending issues these past two weeks. I'm starting to see how I've burned myself out trying to tackle it all, but realistically I can only do so much. I think what really gets to me is I'm both help desk and I also work on these mini projects that require focus. But what happens is it's quiet, I'm focusing on the project, an email issue pops up and I get distracted, come back to the project and another issue shows up a minute later. It's like a back and forth with my focus being interruped. Completely breaks my flow on what I'm working on and if I really didnt feel like doing it in the first place it's like starting from zero to summon the motivation to get into it.
Also I'm getting annoyed with the whole misconception that people who work in IT know the ins and outs of every program/computer in existence. Or when a problem pops up I'm expected to fix it immediately, like I know exactly what the issue is at all times. I used to feel really bad about that, like I was a failure. But I've stopped caring, I don't care if people perceive me as knowledgeable or an idiot, I just do my job.
Getting up in the morning still seems tough. But when I think about the soul crushing depression I used to feel, it's definitely improved.
I've limited binging TV shows. I'll watch one episode of a show that I really like and then move on to my music. It's really easy to just say screw it and watch TV until the day is over as a way to avoid doing things I fear on some level. I don't always have the energy when I come home, but most days I'm able to work towards my goals in some way. Definitely less procrastinating going on.
So far in my life I've had 3 separate people tell me they think I can definitely make music my full time thing. Again with the thing where people see something I don't. But I'm taking it as a sign that my internal reality is manifesting on the outside. I still don't care for my music all that much or have confidence in it. It's not that I hate it or beat myself up about it, it just feels like it's incomplete or not ready yet.
Also I'm getting annoyed with the whole misconception that people who work in IT know the ins and outs of every program/computer in existence. Or when a problem pops up I'm expected to fix it immediately, like I know exactly what the issue is at all times. I used to feel really bad about that, like I was a failure. But I've stopped caring, I don't care if people perceive me as knowledgeable or an idiot, I just do my job.
Getting up in the morning still seems tough. But when I think about the soul crushing depression I used to feel, it's definitely improved.
I've limited binging TV shows. I'll watch one episode of a show that I really like and then move on to my music. It's really easy to just say screw it and watch TV until the day is over as a way to avoid doing things I fear on some level. I don't always have the energy when I come home, but most days I'm able to work towards my goals in some way. Definitely less procrastinating going on.
So far in my life I've had 3 separate people tell me they think I can definitely make music my full time thing. Again with the thing where people see something I don't. But I'm taking it as a sign that my internal reality is manifesting on the outside. I still don't care for my music all that much or have confidence in it. It's not that I hate it or beat myself up about it, it just feels like it's incomplete or not ready yet.
INFP
