06-21-2019, 04:54 PM
Get to go home tomorrow. I'm legit holding back tears from this trip. I dont really know anymore what's wrong with me. Lately I have nothing to say to people. It's like a wall between me and the outside world. I rarely connect anymore. It's just coworkers right? No big deal? But when I'm around people this long I inevitably get poked and prodded at for why I'm like this. I get quiet, people take offense sometimes or misunderstand me and then I look like the asshole vs them not taking the time to understand where I'm coming from.
I don't know, something stung being here. It felt like being back in high school. But overall I feel like I kind of still struggle with stuff and most people don't understand. And it's frustrating as hell trying to just exist and be when it feels like I can't even do that.
Outside looking in. That's been my life story. Other people getting something I don't. I felt like I just reverted to my old shy self this week. It's one thing to be quiet by choice, but when it's this awkward insecure type thing man people just pick that shit apart.
Although one really drunk dude i was working with told me. "You're cool, but you're trying not to be cool." So maybe people see stuff in me I don't.
I don't know, something stung being here. It felt like being back in high school. But overall I feel like I kind of still struggle with stuff and most people don't understand. And it's frustrating as hell trying to just exist and be when it feels like I can't even do that.
Outside looking in. That's been my life story. Other people getting something I don't. I felt like I just reverted to my old shy self this week. It's one thing to be quiet by choice, but when it's this awkward insecure type thing man people just pick that shit apart.
Although one really drunk dude i was working with told me. "You're cool, but you're trying not to be cool." So maybe people see stuff in me I don't.
INFP
