05-13-2019, 03:15 AM
Glad my post can help out a bit!
I've been really taking a look at this desire to make music a bigger part of my life. It's not either or, but mixed in with the passion for it is another more toxic mindset of doing it for validation or to prove I'm good at it. Making music people like, trying to make money with it, obsessing on it way too much and not having balance in my life. All of that gets in the way of the joy of just creating.
And then there's also the fact that I keep telling myself I should be better. That if I just worked hard enough on one song and got it good enough everything would fall into place. But I burn so much energy on that one song, it's not sustainable. I've realized I still have a lot of hours left before I'm making stuff I can really like. And it's not a question of trying harder and getting frustrated, but just putting in the time. Music is a skill like anything else and I need to put more time into it. I need to be more consistent. So even if I'm particularly tired one day I can at least do some work for 15 minutes. My problem has always been this all or nothing mentality.
This insight kind of came along with my journey in self growth. I was always thinking because I wasn't where I wanted to be or that things weren't moving fast enough that I was doing something wrong. But it just takes time and persistence. Luckily I'm starting to learn if you take a way that pressure of failure or the ridiculous expectations, you're free to engage in the work without feeling that overwhelming stress at all times. You realize it's a step along the way and that step is progress. My mistake was feeling like every step wasn't good enough and I never eased up on myself. It's good to have the long term goal, but just because I can't reach it on that particular day doesn't mean I've failed.
I've been really taking a look at this desire to make music a bigger part of my life. It's not either or, but mixed in with the passion for it is another more toxic mindset of doing it for validation or to prove I'm good at it. Making music people like, trying to make money with it, obsessing on it way too much and not having balance in my life. All of that gets in the way of the joy of just creating.
And then there's also the fact that I keep telling myself I should be better. That if I just worked hard enough on one song and got it good enough everything would fall into place. But I burn so much energy on that one song, it's not sustainable. I've realized I still have a lot of hours left before I'm making stuff I can really like. And it's not a question of trying harder and getting frustrated, but just putting in the time. Music is a skill like anything else and I need to put more time into it. I need to be more consistent. So even if I'm particularly tired one day I can at least do some work for 15 minutes. My problem has always been this all or nothing mentality.
This insight kind of came along with my journey in self growth. I was always thinking because I wasn't where I wanted to be or that things weren't moving fast enough that I was doing something wrong. But it just takes time and persistence. Luckily I'm starting to learn if you take a way that pressure of failure or the ridiculous expectations, you're free to engage in the work without feeling that overwhelming stress at all times. You realize it's a step along the way and that step is progress. My mistake was feeling like every step wasn't good enough and I never eased up on myself. It's good to have the long term goal, but just because I can't reach it on that particular day doesn't mean I've failed.
INFP
