04-19-2019, 02:50 AM
I think I'm breaking through. Listening to the sub last night I found myself able to let go more and follow the instructions. Prior to this I felt like I was dissociating to a degree and bypassing the sub.
Although I did wake up in the middle of the night with what I could only describe as pure anger. Felt like I needed to scream. Usually something like this pops up and I tell myself to relax and stop getting worked up over nothing. But lately I feel like that's the exact reason these things are buried. I've failed to integrate these emotions into my ecosystem so to speak. I treated them as "bad" vs just another part of me that needs to be understood. So when I've felt irritable and on edge and constantly told myself "I shouldn't feel like this, I should feel relaxed and calm" that was me invalidating how I really felt in favor of a more socially acceptable response. Interesting to see how my perception of how other people view me has influenced my response to my own emotional well being.
Although I did wake up in the middle of the night with what I could only describe as pure anger. Felt like I needed to scream. Usually something like this pops up and I tell myself to relax and stop getting worked up over nothing. But lately I feel like that's the exact reason these things are buried. I've failed to integrate these emotions into my ecosystem so to speak. I treated them as "bad" vs just another part of me that needs to be understood. So when I've felt irritable and on edge and constantly told myself "I shouldn't feel like this, I should feel relaxed and calm" that was me invalidating how I really felt in favor of a more socially acceptable response. Interesting to see how my perception of how other people view me has influenced my response to my own emotional well being.
INFP
