02-16-2019, 01:55 PM
Man, if there's one thing I need to learn is to not second guess myself. This song I've been working on for a bit now has gone through so many changes. Finally I ended up right back where I started. All the in between stuff where I thought I was improving it was just the fear. There's a certain clarity I have when I start a song that gets lost along the process. This is probably why it takes me so long to finish. Not because I'm being super attentive and refining fine details, but rather I spend most of that time second guessing everything and changing and adding too much.
On a non music related thing. I'm having these weird sort of flashbacks to my time in school. School was always rough for me. I don't think I've let go of those emotions, simply buried them. I've done that with a lot in my life actually. Despite all the anxiety I faced at times, I pushed on. But it had a sort of build up effect on me. I've got so much stuff I pushed myself through, but it never really felt like I conquered it. I've been really restless lately, definitely feels like the emotional healing process. There's a part of me that developed with a very strong will to push myself past all these things, but another part that's still there weighed down by it all. I've very strongly denied that part of myself for a while now because I always wanted to move past it. But by ignoring it, it just continued to influence me in the background.
On a non music related thing. I'm having these weird sort of flashbacks to my time in school. School was always rough for me. I don't think I've let go of those emotions, simply buried them. I've done that with a lot in my life actually. Despite all the anxiety I faced at times, I pushed on. But it had a sort of build up effect on me. I've got so much stuff I pushed myself through, but it never really felt like I conquered it. I've been really restless lately, definitely feels like the emotional healing process. There's a part of me that developed with a very strong will to push myself past all these things, but another part that's still there weighed down by it all. I've very strongly denied that part of myself for a while now because I always wanted to move past it. But by ignoring it, it just continued to influence me in the background.
INFP
