12-05-2020, 08:01 AM
Stage 4, Day 26
The level of stress in my life has reduced to the point where it feels like its source has basically been pinpointed and dug up by the root. The mental image I have is of one of those big mechanical tree spades used to transplant trees. My primary source of stress for the past 10-15 years (maybe longer) has been my job. Major challenges at every level within the company combined with health and financial issues at home took that stress to new heights this year. Keeping me out of a state of total desperation and panic were a tall order, but LTU6 managed to pull it off. To my surprise, last week I was even publicly recognized for my performance and awarded money. I didn't see that coming, especially after the rocky start to a few of the professional relationships involved.
Other areas where I've been seeing LTU6 make obvious progress in self esteem, emotional control, and maturity. I see it most when I'm confronting situations or people whether at work or anywhere else. I'm getting better at stating my position honestly, logically, and dispassionately. I'm getting better at not letting things build up and fester, but instead approaching issues from a standpoint of emotional purity. I haven't mastered this by any means, but I see that it's an avenue to long term emotional peace. This isn't some new, novel concept to me but I'm finally at a level of emotional maturity that I'm able to put it into practice. It's nice to see that the logical and the emotional parts of me are beginning to play nice. I've had to attribute the bulk of my successes in life to feats of willpower and it's exhausting.
For the past week, I've been using Shannon's "becoming" method. It has helped in a way that I didn't anticipate. As I began to "become", I encountered something Shannon has touched on in a few of his posts...fear. My initial response was to stop and think how ridiculous this mind/reality manipulation stuff is. Then the neurotic mental war began...maybe it's real...if it's real, what if I mess it up?...what if I get what I want but realize it's really NOT what I want?...what if I miss the target and it destroys me emotionally?...what if it's a fairy tale and I feel stupid for buying into it?...and on and on... Then it hit me. I'm afraid. After that, it occurred to me that at the very least, this exercise could help me to identify and to understand the root of these fears. In other words, there is a very valid application of this exercise even if all the manifestation talk is a bunch of nonsense. Now, through becoming, I'm "feeling" my way into scenarios that I've feared and I'm getting glimpses behind that fear curtain. I'm actually enjoying the process. It's showing me a whole new world, for lack of better term. Interestingly, I can actually feel the subtle effects of this exercise on seemingly unrelated things in my life.
To summarize, I feel like I've made some strides this week and I'm excited about what more is about to unfold.
The level of stress in my life has reduced to the point where it feels like its source has basically been pinpointed and dug up by the root. The mental image I have is of one of those big mechanical tree spades used to transplant trees. My primary source of stress for the past 10-15 years (maybe longer) has been my job. Major challenges at every level within the company combined with health and financial issues at home took that stress to new heights this year. Keeping me out of a state of total desperation and panic were a tall order, but LTU6 managed to pull it off. To my surprise, last week I was even publicly recognized for my performance and awarded money. I didn't see that coming, especially after the rocky start to a few of the professional relationships involved.
Other areas where I've been seeing LTU6 make obvious progress in self esteem, emotional control, and maturity. I see it most when I'm confronting situations or people whether at work or anywhere else. I'm getting better at stating my position honestly, logically, and dispassionately. I'm getting better at not letting things build up and fester, but instead approaching issues from a standpoint of emotional purity. I haven't mastered this by any means, but I see that it's an avenue to long term emotional peace. This isn't some new, novel concept to me but I'm finally at a level of emotional maturity that I'm able to put it into practice. It's nice to see that the logical and the emotional parts of me are beginning to play nice. I've had to attribute the bulk of my successes in life to feats of willpower and it's exhausting.
For the past week, I've been using Shannon's "becoming" method. It has helped in a way that I didn't anticipate. As I began to "become", I encountered something Shannon has touched on in a few of his posts...fear. My initial response was to stop and think how ridiculous this mind/reality manipulation stuff is. Then the neurotic mental war began...maybe it's real...if it's real, what if I mess it up?...what if I get what I want but realize it's really NOT what I want?...what if I miss the target and it destroys me emotionally?...what if it's a fairy tale and I feel stupid for buying into it?...and on and on... Then it hit me. I'm afraid. After that, it occurred to me that at the very least, this exercise could help me to identify and to understand the root of these fears. In other words, there is a very valid application of this exercise even if all the manifestation talk is a bunch of nonsense. Now, through becoming, I'm "feeling" my way into scenarios that I've feared and I'm getting glimpses behind that fear curtain. I'm actually enjoying the process. It's showing me a whole new world, for lack of better term. Interestingly, I can actually feel the subtle effects of this exercise on seemingly unrelated things in my life.
To summarize, I feel like I've made some strides this week and I'm excited about what more is about to unfold.
