LTU 6 Log

[NOMAD]

Stage 1
Hybrid-Trickling Stream
9-10/15 earbuds

My days are pretty jam-packed, so my logging will most likely be along the lines of weekly summaries.

My experiences so far are pretty consistent with what I'm reading in other journals: pain relief, detox symptoms (itchiness, gas, bad breath, foul stools (holy sh*t)), elevated mood, lowered anxiety, etc. It's also really smooth, as others have noted. I can feel it working mentally and it' s definitely using resources, but it doesn't have the mental drag I experienced with LTU5.

The most prominent experience has been intermittent euphoria & joy. I've had several comments made throughout the week on my mood. What's neat is that it seems to be somewhat contagious. It's pretty interesting to see a person with a dry personality suddenly shift to one of laughter, humor, and outward expressions of happiness.

I've been pretty motivated for most of the week toward work. Today, I even felt a hint of it toward fitness which I've more or less neglected for the past few years now. Prior to that, I had gotten in the best shape of my life. But I guess my subconscious had enough of that and my will power just wasn't enough to keep it going. Maybe LTU6 will handle that.

Another notable is that I woke up today feeling like the future is bright, like good things are on the horizon. I don't know what or how, but something good is coming. I can feel it and I like it. I'm a little disappointed that I'm at the ASRB2 break.

So far, LTU6 does not disappoint. I'm excited to see where this takes us all. Just think guys...we're not even a week in...

[NOMAD]

One thing that I forgot to mention is that I keep getting whiffs of pheromones.  Sometimes other people are around and sometimes they aren't, so it seems to be me. I don't know if it's related to LTU6 or not, but  I thought I'd mention it.

[RTBoss]

Totally agree with everything you've noticed.  I also smell pheromones, but that's because I wear myriad products on the daily, lol.

[NOMAD]

Totally agree with everything you've noticed.  I also smell pheromones, but that's because I wear myriad products on the daily, lol.

I haven't worn any since I started using subs. 

FYI - You are actually a key reason that I invested the $$$ in my first IML sub. It was E2. I used to read your posts at a phero forum promoting truth and IIRC, one of your posts over there lead me here. It didn't take me long to realize that I was looking for something in pheromones that I was lacking internally. That was ~4 years ago when Chaosvrgn and a few others were still present here (your username still makes me think of Paul Rudd). In any case, you, in particular,  were unknowingly instrumental in my initial plunge into the IML  realm.  I could relate to the things you posted (close in age,  Star  Wars nerds  (although Marvel basically nullified the franchise for me ),  similar body dysmorphic issues,  similar issues with women,  similar guilt/shame/fear around sex,  similar "forbidden fruit" issues, dad, husband etc. I was always impressed with your honesty. It takes a lot of courage to speak openly, honestly,  and from the heart. Ive always respected that about you. 

Ok... enough of all that.  I'm glad to see you journaling again and I appreciate you commenting here.

[RTBoss]

Totally agree with everything you've noticed.  I also smell pheromones, but that's because I wear myriad products on the daily, lol.

I haven't worn any since I started using subs. 

FYI - You are actually a key reason that I invested the $$$ in my first IML sub. It was E2. I used to read your posts at a phero forum promoting truth and IIRC, one of your posts over there lead me here. It didn't take me long to realize that I was looking for something in pheromones that I was lacking internally. That was ~4 years ago when Chaosvrgn and a few others were still present here (your username still makes me think of Paul Rudd). In any case, you, in particular,  were unknowingly instrumental in my initial plunge into the IML  realm.  I could relate to the things you posted (close in age,  Star  Wars nerds  (although Marvel basically nullified the franchise for me ),  similar body dysmorphic issues,  similar issues with women,  similar guilt/shame/fear around sex,  similar "forbidden fruit" issues, dad, husband etc. I was always impressed with your honesty. It takes a lot of courage to speak openly, honestly,  and from the heart. Ive always respected that about you. 

Ok... enough of all that.  I'm glad to see you journaling again and I appreciate you commenting here.

Wow, man, thanks for saying that.  I appreciate it.  Very cool that you got into subs that way.  

I definitely can relate to your comment on pheros.  For me, it's a weird combination of having a secret, a powerful leg up on everyone else around me, having fun watching how different products affect different people...but then, oddly feeling naked, or like I'm not maximizing my potential and/or influence when I'm not wearing a product.  Certainly connected to some negative internal issues, but eventually, doesn't necessarily have to be.  

It should certainly be interesting to see how LTU6 switches things up for us.  Will be tuned in, for sure.

[NOMAD]

I received some family news today that wasn't super awesome. There are two notable things about this: One is that I was concerned about it, but didn't allow it to consume me. Second is that I didn't totally shut it out like I usually do in an emotionally challenging event.  In another words, I stayed emotionally in tune with it all.

Later in the day, I was watching a comedy movie on TV. There were moments that I busted out in laughter...that deep belly laughter rooted in joy. It was incredible. There were moments in the movie where I was so happy that I could feel the emotion well up in my chest and could've easily shed a tear if I had allowed it.

I've been more appreciative of my wife lately. I'm fortunate to be married to a solid woman like her. Throughout the years, I think I've had insecurities that have been barriers to fully expressing the love I have for her.  Those seem to be coming down and I'm grateful for that.

I'm really happy with what I'm seeing in myself and other users. Tonight, I start my loops again. I'm looking forward to what the next cycle will bring.

[NOMAD]

Day 11

Tonight I start my break for the second ASRB2 cycle. I don't want to stop. During my last break, I was pretty tired. That pretty much ended the morning after I restarted my loops. My tentative plan is to stick to the ASRB2 this time, but I'll likely either add a day of use or reduce my off time to one day after my next "on" days. This morning, I woke up about 20 min before the end of my last loop and I craved the input I was receiving. It felt really good right in the center of my chest and I was disappointed when the loop ended. That happened at least one other time this week.

As for the past week's experience, I've had bouts of anxiety & anger with occasional euphoria & joy sprinkled in. At other times, it almost feels like I'm not running anything at all.

The last dream I remember seemed to be indicating that I'm purging myself of something (maybe fear), but I'm experiencing a sense of guilt about it.

[Shannon]

If you're craving it, follow your craving. That's your subconscious showing you how best to use it for you at this time.

[NOMAD]

If you're craving it, follow your craving.  That's your subconscious showing you how best to use it for you at this time.

Thank you for the advice. I'll start my loops again tonight.

It feels like LTU6 is breathing life back into me. Considering how I've been running on fumes for the past few months, this is amazing. 

What's even more amazing is  that more stages are coming and I have no idea what to expect from each one. To say I'm looking forward to the rest of the journey is a gross understatement.

[NOMAD]

Day 16

Last night was the last of my "on" days for my 3rd ASRB2 cycle. I reduced my off day to one. I'm not sure if that will be the norm for me yet, but we'll see.

E4 is in full effect. Insecurities are coming to the surface. E4 is working aggressively, but it's very tolerable.

I had two family members that have been extremely loving toward me and have clearly wanted my attention. I recognized it happening last night, but looking back at the weekend, it started then. It's out of the ordinary, but it's nice.

[NOMAD]

Day 18

My internal state has made me more susceptible to outside influences in terms on anxiety. Last night, I woke up in a mild state of panic while contemplating external events.

Last night's dreams indicated that LTU6 has me addressing limiting beliefs with guilt and shame at the center of it all. That's not surprising at all. There's a sense of unworthiness  I've carried since childhood which became exponentially worse in my late teens through mid-twenties. Those were the years when self-destructive behaviors were the norm for me. Willpower pulled me through,  but the root is still there.

[fab10]

Day 18

Willpower pulled me through,  but the root is still there.

Good point: willpower alone is not enough to address deep issues. 

In fact I have experienced a prime example first hand- my former best friend has extremely strong willpower but also some buried emotional issues, after a couple of decades his entire life is down the drain (including our friendship.)

We are all better off eradicating the root.

[NOMAD]

We are all better off eradicating the root.

That's correct. Using willpower alone amounts to engaging in a life of hard fought battles. Not only is that exhausting,  but I suspect that it strengthens the resolve of certain resistant parts of the subconscious which lie waiting for the willpower tank to run dry.

Then it gets its way.

[NOMAD]

Something I neglected to mention earlier is that I woke up exhausted this morning. It was the kind of exhaustion where I felt like I could've stayed in bed and drifted in and out of sleep all day. I had to force myself to get up. Caffeine had no noticeable effect.

In spite of that,  I stepped into autopilot mode and got things done.

Something that occurred to me as I was engaging in a task I rarely perform is that I was doing it well without giving it much thought. It parallels something else I experienced two days ago when I learned to play a video game (I'm not a gamer) and began to perform better than the person that taught me how to play. This happened within a few rounds. Could MLS be the 13th title?