04-05-2019, 10:48 PM
I’ve officially been on LTU for a month. Im now starting ASRB break #5.As far as new stuff, I’m getting the near euphoric bursts of positivity and optimism that I was having on USLM1. They’re happening both while I’m running the program, and at random times while I’m not, on run days and break days. These are usually coupled with a very vivid visualization of having one of my major goals accomplished or some good thing in the future after it’s accomplished. There is no negative voice saying that this may not be accomplished accompanying it. Sometimes though, I just feel really good suddenly and for no reason.
Quick recap of the effects so far.
-Three lifelong serious nervous habits (twitches, tics, tooth grinding) gone.
-Major decrease in the frequency and intensity of almost dissociative anger episodes (usually revenge fantasies or something like that that really pull me out of the present moment and involve a serious anger reaction). I don’t think I’ve had one for a few days, and the last few I’ve had didn’t cause jaw clenching, muscle tightening, or anything, they were just vivid thoughts. This is major progress, these used to be a multiple times daily occurrence.
-Parinoia and twitchyness in crowded places is gone. This used to be a real problem. I COULD stand trips to a store or whatever, but it was unpleasant and exhausting. Lately I’ve actually been feeling good there.
-My relationship with my wife has improved. She still takes her bad moods out on me occasionally, but it doesn’t get under my skin nearly as much. I recognize that it’s her somewhat disfunctional way of dealing with stress, frustration, fear and physical pain. It’s a problem with her not me, and it’s up to her to solve it. Also she’s been doing it less. Though she does seem a little confused that she can’t get a rise out of me anymore.
-Massive boost in self confidence. At least as far as knowing I can handle any challenge that life throws my way goes. I’m in a rough situation now, but I’m coming to the end of it, and once things are back on track, I can level life up in a lot of different ways.
-I have stopped drinking soda. I didn’t really plan on it, I just switched to sparkling water.
-Aches and pains that I felt on waking up are gone.
-Increased energy on waking up.
-Increased productivity toward my goals.
-Fear of failing in my job search because of past failures gone.
-The default setting on my face went from slight hostile scowl to slight smile.
-I am calmer all the time and in all things.
-My wife has noticed and commented that I am different in a good way.
I am quite impressed.
Quick recap of the effects so far.
-Three lifelong serious nervous habits (twitches, tics, tooth grinding) gone.
-Major decrease in the frequency and intensity of almost dissociative anger episodes (usually revenge fantasies or something like that that really pull me out of the present moment and involve a serious anger reaction). I don’t think I’ve had one for a few days, and the last few I’ve had didn’t cause jaw clenching, muscle tightening, or anything, they were just vivid thoughts. This is major progress, these used to be a multiple times daily occurrence.
-Parinoia and twitchyness in crowded places is gone. This used to be a real problem. I COULD stand trips to a store or whatever, but it was unpleasant and exhausting. Lately I’ve actually been feeling good there.
-My relationship with my wife has improved. She still takes her bad moods out on me occasionally, but it doesn’t get under my skin nearly as much. I recognize that it’s her somewhat disfunctional way of dealing with stress, frustration, fear and physical pain. It’s a problem with her not me, and it’s up to her to solve it. Also she’s been doing it less. Though she does seem a little confused that she can’t get a rise out of me anymore.
-Massive boost in self confidence. At least as far as knowing I can handle any challenge that life throws my way goes. I’m in a rough situation now, but I’m coming to the end of it, and once things are back on track, I can level life up in a lot of different ways.
-I have stopped drinking soda. I didn’t really plan on it, I just switched to sparkling water.
-Aches and pains that I felt on waking up are gone.
-Increased energy on waking up.
-Increased productivity toward my goals.
-Fear of failing in my job search because of past failures gone.
-The default setting on my face went from slight hostile scowl to slight smile.
-I am calmer all the time and in all things.
-My wife has noticed and commented that I am different in a good way.
I am quite impressed.
