Joining that EPRHA 2.0 Bandwagon

[4Kingdoms]

Yeah, most likely if a guy is a staring, they're attracted to you in some way. It doesn't seem to be the case vice versa though.

LOL, I've had women stare at me and not know why. Then it became apparent one day when I overheard them talking to another man. Group of women talking to a guy I work with, "What are you wearing? Why don't you dress like 4Kingdoms!? Look at him and try to dress more like him."

[Why So Serious?]

Well that got a lot of responses.

I still don't get why stuff like that bothers me though. I was laughing on the inside when it happened but still got disturbed. The only good thing that is currently happening is that the thought isn't bringing me as much frustration as it did a couple of nights ago but there is still an issue that needs to be worked on.
Okay I think I figured it out. I think I'm scared of being sexually attractive. I think it's more shame than fear. Or the shame feeds the fear. How odd. Now what to do about it.

I'll just take it as a compliment from now on. And will even try approaching if I find them attractive of course.

Hey I think I motivated that guy through the class so that's a plus

It's nice to get a guy's perception on things again so thanks everybody.

[Shannon]

EHPRA 2.0 will work on guilt, shame and fear.

[Why So Serious?]

EHPRA 2.0 will work on guilt, shame and fear.

I know it will help out with that. It's just a pain to deal with at times but at least it's getting worked on. Makes you wonder how people deal with stuff like this on a daily bases. I'm in my mid twenties, and can't stand living like this, so how do people do this all their lives.

I forgot to mention Friday on the way to work I felt that something within me had been worked on. I was in a bad mood but I felt it deep down. Through out the day I started to feel happier. I'm glad to say that I still feel this way. Usually I would dread the feeling good because I know in a couple of hours I'm going to get depressed. The reason for getting depressed well..... I start to focus on limitations in life. So that's 2 1/2 days of feeling happy and content. A new record for me since......it's been some years. Still get depressed but it fades away so much quicker. Within an hour or a hour and a half to be exact. Much better than a few hours of happiness followed by a few months or a year of depression.
Now what thought process or fear has lifted away to cause all this you might ask. I have no fucking clue. None what so ever but I guess it's better that I don't know.:angel:

If I hadn't posted this and really thought about it what happened this incident would have went over my head. And I wasn't planning on it till Shannon posted.

Oh snap I just realized I'm not too focused on limitations. Yep good thing I posted that incident.

[Shannon]

You are so entertaining to observe.

[Why So Serious?]

@Shannon
I try.

Well came home with the wonderful idea to start looking into going back to college. Usually I start running around like a chicken with it head cut off in my mind. I decided that since I was feeling so calm about the idea to try again. I'm even looking forward to the challenge of working and going to school. I applied and everything went fine........Yeah right:/ starting flipping shit in my mind again trying to figure out what is going on. I need to do something different as far as making money. I started thinking about businesses that made it worse. Then came the thought do what your passionate about, but I don't know what I passionate about.
What seemed like a good idea doesn't seem so good anymore. I hope that I can fix this because it's annoying to say the least.
Why does this stress me out so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and you may wonder why not just put in the application. Well did this twice the first time I stayed for 2 years. The second time I only stayed the semester. As for businesses well they never got off the ground

[Shannon]

Sounds like some part of you needs to deal with some fears before you can succeed. Fortunately for you, EHPRA 2.0 is very good for that - it just takes time.

[Breeze]

...

Well came home with the wonderful idea to start looking into going back to college. Usually I start running around like a chicken with it head cut off in my mind. I decided that since I was feeling so calm about the idea to try again. I'm even looking forward to the challenge of working and going to school. I applied and everything went fine........Yeah right:/ starting flipping shit in my mind again trying to figure out what is going on. I need to do something different as far as making money. I started thinking about businesses that made it worse. Then came the thought do what your passionate about, but I don't know what I passionate about.
What seemed like a good idea doesn't seem so good anymore. I hope that I can fix this because it's annoying to say the least.
Why does this stress me out so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and you may wonder why not just put in the application. Well did this twice the first time I stayed for 2 years. The second time I only stayed the semester. As for businesses well they never got off the ground

This sounds JUST. LIKE. ME.

The first college I stayed for a year. Second college, only for a semester. Businesses? Yup, right. Stressful. That's the part of the reason I am running OF.

If you decide to join college again, I believe it could serve you as a wonderful platform to overcome your fears and general growth. If you do not, I am sure you'll figure something else out. So stick to it. Sounds like you are doing great.

[mat422]

@Shannon
I try.

Well came home with the wonderful idea to start looking into going back to college. Usually I start running around like a chicken with it head cut off in my mind. I decided that since I was feeling so calm about the idea to try again. I'm even looking forward to the challenge of working and going to school. I applied and everything went fine........Yeah right:/ starting flipping shit in my mind again trying to figure out what is going on. I need to do something different as far as making money. I started thinking about businesses that made it worse. Then came the thought do what your passionate about, but I don't know what I passionate about.
What seemed like a good idea doesn't seem so good anymore. I hope that I can fix this because it's annoying to say the least.
Why does this stress me out so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and you may wonder why not just put in the application. Well did this twice the first time I stayed for 2 years. The second time I only stayed the semester. As for businesses well they never got off the ground

I might be assuming some things here, but I figured I'd throw in my thoughts on this. It sounds like you've gone too far into the future when thinking about this stuff and then from there your imagination just goes crazy. I don't know about your mind, but I have to keep mine on a leash otherwise it tends to run away haha. I'm great at coming up with new ideas, possibilities, theories, etc. not so great on follow through. Sometimes it's important to just narrow your focus a bit and break it down into smaller steps.

Forget about passion. People throw that word around too much and it fills you with too much anxiety over being passionate enough about something. Think of fulfillment instead. What would make you happy? Try asking yourself that question every night before you go to sleep. Give your brain something to focus on. Don't search for it, just let it come to you. You know when forget the name of a song or something and a couple of minutes later it pops in your head? It's kind of like that. Just be aware of any small pull towards something and let it grow.

[4Kingdoms]

I don't know what I passionate about.

Forget about passion. People throw that word around too much and it fills you with too much anxiety over being passionate enough about something. Think of fulfillment instead. What would make you happy? Try asking yourself that question every night before you go to sleep. Give your brain something to focus on. Don't search for it, just let it come to you. You know when forget the name of a song or something and a couple of minutes later it pops in your head? It's kind of like that. Just be aware of any small pull towards something and let it grow.

Solid advice!!
I always go after what makes me happy. Fulfillment sums it up quite nicely. Passion is such a strong emotion and even though I'm happy and fulfilled... there are few things I am passionate about.

[Why So Serious?]

Sounds like some part of you needs to deal with some fears before you can succeed. Fortunately for you, EHPRA 2.0 is very good for that - it just takes time.

It does take time but I'm happy that I can think about college as something I can accomplish now. Even if the action isn't there yet.lol

Why So Serious? Wrote:
...

Well came home with the wonderful idea to start looking into going back to college. Usually I start running around like a chicken with it head cut off in my mind. I decided that since I was feeling so calm about the idea to try again. I'm even looking forward to the challenge of working and going to school. I applied and everything went fine........Yeah right:/ starting flipping shit in my mind again trying to figure out what is going on. I need to do something different as far as making money. I started thinking about businesses that made it worse. Then came the thought do what your passionate about, but I don't know what I passionate about.
What seemed like a good idea doesn't seem so good anymore. I hope that I can fix this because it's annoying to say the least.
Why does this stress me out so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and you may wonder why not just put in the application. Well did this twice the first time I stayed for 2 years. The second time I only stayed the semester. As for businesses well they never got off the groundSad

This sounds JUST. LIKE. ME.

The first college I stayed for a year. Second college, only for a semester. Businesses? Yup, right. Stressful. That's the part of the reason I am running OF.

If you decide to join college again, I believe it could serve you as a wonderful platform to overcome your fears and general growth. If you do not, I am sure you'll figure something else out. So stick to it. Sounds like you are doing great. Smile

Glad to see I'm not the only one with this problem. I don't think I'm doing to good right now but thanks.Maybe you see something I don't.

I might be assuming some things here, but I figured I'd throw in my thoughts on this. It sounds like you've gone too far into the future when thinking about this stuff and then from there your imagination just goes crazy. I don't know about your mind, but I have to keep mine on a leash otherwise it tends to run away haha. I'm great at coming up with new ideas, possibilities, theories, etc. not so great on follow through. Sometimes it's important to just narrow your focus a bit and break it down into smaller steps.

Forget about passion. People throw that word around too much and it fills you with too much anxiety over being passionate enough about something. Think of fulfillment instead. What would make you happy? Try asking yourself that question every night before you go to sleep. Give your brain something to focus on. Don't search for it, just let it come to you. You know when forget the name of a song or something and a couple of minutes later it pops in your head? It's kind of like that. Just be aware of any small pull towards something and let it grow.

I blame you for making me think deeply about this for a day. Your right about the anxiety of not being passionate enough. TBH I thought I put this passion stuff behind me. Surprised me that I mentioned it.
I think I had one of those moments this morning. Thinking about college and it hit me that I should do study about computers rather than chemistry. Art is just out of the equation now. On the side definitely for a living hell no.

Why So Serious? Wrote:
I don't know what I passionate about.

(Yesterday 11:35 AM)mat422 Wrote:
Forget about passion. People throw that word around too much and it fills you with too much anxiety over being passionate enough about something. Think of fulfillment instead. What would make you happy? Try asking yourself that question every night before you go to sleep. Give your brain something to focus on. Don't search for it, just let it come to you. You know when forget the name of a song or something and a couple of minutes later it pops in your head? It's kind of like that. Just be aware of any small pull towards something and let it grow.

Solid advice!!
I always go after what makes me happy. Fulfillment sums it up quite nicely. Passion is such a strong emotion and even though I'm happy and fulfilled... there are few things I am passionate about.

If you don't mind me asking what are passionate about? And why not make it living? What are happy about?

So everyone agrees on happiness instead of passion, and I got a bunch of fears. Okay good lets talk about my progress now.

I had asked the universe what to 3 weeks ago and so far so good. I won't get into to much details. Just text a friend I hadn't seen in awhile and they are back in college. People talking about how their kids are in college. That kind of stuff.

I'm kind of excited about going now because it will be my decision. Not because someone forced me to go. Still a little nervous about applying, but it has to do with transcripts and changing my major at the school I'm transferring to. I'll call again tomorrow just to be on the safe side.

People are a little nicer now. I had one guy who works on the other side walk in to where I worked when no one was there and asked how was I doing. All the guys that walk by me keep mentioning quiet I am. This isn't breaking news so why start mentioning it now after 8 months of working there.

Oh and since Shannon confirmed my suspicions about the sub working on others lets have a look at that.
My mom hasn't been bitching about how fat she is lately. She'll mention it but she's always trying to come up with a solution instead. So far she's back to drinking protein shakes in the morning, looking for a knee brace to get back to exercising, bought a new scale that measures bmi, and looking at different supplements. I'm joining her and it seems like everyday we take about how to improve our health.

I'm doing this at my job as well. Just looking for solutions instead of bitching. One thing I do need to figure out is how to deal with stupidity that happens at the job.:@

Overall everything is okay right now. Slowly getting better.

[Why So Serious?]

I got this text yesterday morning. The irony.

[Nox]

So far the main theme of this journal seems to be your butt. This is an excellent journal.

[mat422]

I blame you for making me think deeply about this for a day.TongueBig Grin Your right about the anxiety of not being passionate enough. TBH I thought I put this passion stuff behind me. Surprised me that I mentioned it.Blush
I think I had one of those moments this morning. Thinking about college and it hit me that I should do study about computers rather than chemistry. Art is just out of the equation now. On the side definitely for a living hell no.

I'll accept that blame. I like giving people things to ponder. It happens though, things we thought we moved past rear their ugly heads again. I'm actually going through something like that now.

That's a good start. Now I'm curious. What type of art do you make? You could combine computers and art and get into graphic design.