08-27-2018, 03:40 AM
Sheesh man, it ain't DMSI without some execution then depressing ass sh!t huh? Yesterday I felt like I was executing cause the morphine drip was on. I had a nice swag to my walk. I felt sexy, looked sexy, etc. Then later on came the fears and the bullsh*t. Shannon's post below sums it up nicely.
Great post. Sums up my feelings. Right now my issue is that I'm young but once you're in your mid-20's people expect you to mature in some way. I feel depressed because I haven't matured in the ways I want to and perhaps in the ways others wanted. Pursuing this design goal of DMSI is going to essentially "reset" me back to the mindset I had as a freshman only greater because now I'll have the skill to take advantage of the opportunities being thrown my way. Problem is...I've already got my Bachelor's degree. I'm supposed to be developing the skills that would allow me to be a better father and a good husband. I'm supposed to be working on a master's or PhD yet here I am still chasing ass as a post grad.
I think this is coming from my progress with V3.2. I'll be honest with everyone, as much as it pains me to say this considering I've been here since this forum was in it's infancy....I really didn't think this DMSI thing would work...at least not to the point where females are propositioning you for sex without you approaching them. To sit here two years later and come this far in developing as a person and to actually SEE the design goal unfold in front of my face not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES? Damn man. So I'll take these feelings of self-doubt, guilt, shame and fear for what they are...a sign that I'm about to take that next step to where achieving the design goal doesn't happen once every several months but a sign that it's about to start occurring on da regular.
(08-26-2018, 04:56 AM)Shannon Wrote: The "unknown" is scary. Universally scary. Some people enjoy the sensation of fear because it produces a rush for them, through adrenaline or endorphins or whatever, but that rush is generated by fear.
Making a drastic change, which in some cases may be required to achieve a specific major goal, generates a reaction according to how many steps away from "normal" that change and result is for that person. Too many steps in between, and it becomes difficult for the person to follow from where they are (Point A) to where the goal is (Point Z). The Point Z is "alien" and the amount of difference creates the "unknown" in how A becomes Z, thus creating this fear, because Points B through Y cannot be seen, or understood. If the change is great enough, then Point A is seen as "completely me" and Point Z is seen as "completely not me". Point Z is rejected because it is "not me" and the contrast is perceived to be so great that "me" would be lost in the change, thus the association with "death".
The truth is, this is just limited thinking and perception. You are the same person you were at age 10, but very much changed now, and you did not perceive becoming the "you now" as "dying" at 10. Likewise, looking back, you don't see the change from "you now" back to "10 year old you" as "death". You see it as a flow of change.
There is no literal death in all this, it is only transformation from one state of being to another, but "you" are always there, alive and "you".
Great post. Sums up my feelings. Right now my issue is that I'm young but once you're in your mid-20's people expect you to mature in some way. I feel depressed because I haven't matured in the ways I want to and perhaps in the ways others wanted. Pursuing this design goal of DMSI is going to essentially "reset" me back to the mindset I had as a freshman only greater because now I'll have the skill to take advantage of the opportunities being thrown my way. Problem is...I've already got my Bachelor's degree. I'm supposed to be developing the skills that would allow me to be a better father and a good husband. I'm supposed to be working on a master's or PhD yet here I am still chasing ass as a post grad.
I think this is coming from my progress with V3.2. I'll be honest with everyone, as much as it pains me to say this considering I've been here since this forum was in it's infancy....I really didn't think this DMSI thing would work...at least not to the point where females are propositioning you for sex without you approaching them. To sit here two years later and come this far in developing as a person and to actually SEE the design goal unfold in front of my face not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES? Damn man. So I'll take these feelings of self-doubt, guilt, shame and fear for what they are...a sign that I'm about to take that next step to where achieving the design goal doesn't happen once every several months but a sign that it's about to start occurring on da regular.
