07-06-2011, 03:13 AM
Lol. To be perfectly honest, at first I wanted to make it 40 days a stage since I tend to support the irrational belief that 32 days doesn’t cut it for me, but for the sake of your sanity I’ll follow protocol and use the program as nature intended! :p Dammit.
Currently on day 3 of stage 1, don’t have that much to report except that I felt a sense of nausea and a sense of feeling trapped on the first day, also a slight sense of suddenly becoming emotionally overwhelmed (this only lasted about 5 minutes or so). The confidence I gained from ASC and a better sense of self-image through DAS does seem to die down very quickly, but I’ve had this before when I first started AM10 so I’ll just regard this as ‘normal’. I went on a small family trip yesterday and had the sense of not belonging and feeling very stiff and awkward when in social situations, also the thought that people wouldn’t accept me for my appearance came on pretty strong, and that I just better could just stay out of the way and not interfere (hide-mode). This was pretty different from a week ago, where I was more open and to the point and less reserved and didn’t have much negative thoughts revolving around my appearance.
Since yesterday I woke up more with a sense of empowerment and wanting to do something worthwhile but after an hour it starts to reside back to regular old passiveness. But I hope that this’ll tend to build up more and more.
I'm also glad that I've taken the precautions of deleting my other subliminals and starting this journal, normally I would have had a lot of negative thoughts bombarding me to change programs ("this program doesn't cut it for your problems and ailments, change it now to something better blah bla bla") after a few days, but now when one does tend to pop up I can't do that much about it. So I guess, problem solved.
Currently on day 3 of stage 1, don’t have that much to report except that I felt a sense of nausea and a sense of feeling trapped on the first day, also a slight sense of suddenly becoming emotionally overwhelmed (this only lasted about 5 minutes or so). The confidence I gained from ASC and a better sense of self-image through DAS does seem to die down very quickly, but I’ve had this before when I first started AM10 so I’ll just regard this as ‘normal’. I went on a small family trip yesterday and had the sense of not belonging and feeling very stiff and awkward when in social situations, also the thought that people wouldn’t accept me for my appearance came on pretty strong, and that I just better could just stay out of the way and not interfere (hide-mode). This was pretty different from a week ago, where I was more open and to the point and less reserved and didn’t have much negative thoughts revolving around my appearance.
Since yesterday I woke up more with a sense of empowerment and wanting to do something worthwhile but after an hour it starts to reside back to regular old passiveness. But I hope that this’ll tend to build up more and more.
I'm also glad that I've taken the precautions of deleting my other subliminals and starting this journal, normally I would have had a lot of negative thoughts bombarding me to change programs ("this program doesn't cut it for your problems and ailments, change it now to something better blah bla bla") after a few days, but now when one does tend to pop up I can't do that much about it. So I guess, problem solved.