Monday 2nd April 2018 - (38-1.7A)
Time: 11.32pm
Listening to loop as I type this update.
Tomorrow will be my 1 day ASRB break.
So far I havent fapped for 38days.
Today have felt less desire to check any of my various sites. I havent had the urge to check the pornsite, but I just did for 4secs to see if I got any messages. I think maybe the anti porn is kicking in but lets wait and see.
So anything happen?
Lastnight Fightgirl & mutual female friend who ill now called "MutualGirl" came by around midnight to drop off my pots and pans. They stayed until 6am. I was exhausted and wanted them to leave when they came but as usual we got social and chatted away.
During the chat, mutualgirl seemed to want to ask me stuff like who do I fancy at uni and this and that. I upto now have suspected that fightgirl likes me but shes always anti men and saying she hates men (BS) but anyway so I went with it and told mutualgirl I fancied her flatmate who is a 10...no lies!!
Anyway she gave me other names and I went with saying yes shes ok and she isnt etc.
Not once did she ask me about fightgirl though and by the evening I felt that maybe even though we really really get on she doesnt see me in that way.
FG is on her periods and so she gets moody cranky and angry. She left without hugging me whereas MG did. Not hugging me is very odd and rare. It was 6am she could have been really fucked up cos of the periods/menstrual cycle or also the 6am but maybe she was pissed off I said I fancied this girl or that girl, but fuck it right?
Anyway I was bothered that she was or had acted strangely as shes a good friend and we fought and lost touch for a year before as you all know. Anyway messaged MG earlier and she said na she was maybe annoyed I brought up our fight which she now wants to leave in the past but I brought it up simply as its something that happened, I dont give a fuck about it but she thinks I do cos I brought it up in conversation which makes me realise she cant handle it and wants to forget it.
MG said she will see how her housemate the "10" feels about me cos apparently she heard my voice once on the phone to MG and thought I sounded really good and ive 2 guy friends say this to me too. I also was told that 10 said she really liked me after we had met at a birthday part, the one that PotsGirl organised for her now ex. Today I made sure MG knew that she should name drop me to 10 and see what happens so ill pursue that slowly and in due course.
Yesterday during the whole day I had been messaging back and forth with PotsGirl, the girl I do like so today she replied with a friendly "hahahah
" so I replied "lol" and left it at that.
Im not here to become her gay best friend, I do like her but ill focus on me and whenever I bump into her or we chat ill chat away but then bring to a close cos if she doesnt give me any clear IOIs then I cant be a chump and assume she likes me and then ruin the friendship. Thats happened so many times to me.
All this is the latest.
The only other thing is that for the past few days now if not 1 week im literally playing 1 or 2 tunes a day all day long. Im killing them by playing them. Today I played a tune only a few times. Ive got it playing away in my head.
Is this due to DMSI?
Addendum: My male friend came over today, and he reiterated that yes I have a nice voice and he finds it very calming soothing and relaxing. He also reiterated to me that I just need to lose my weight. If I lose my weight boom ill have an easier job with girls.
I dont know, cos I can chat to girls but they always go for pretty boys, or guys that are the opposite to how I am currently, which is slim, toned and with hair that isnt thinning. Hoping DMSI is executed more by me.
Extra Info: With track A, there is definately less of a tired sleepy feeling that I got with B.
Time: 11.32pm
Listening to loop as I type this update.
Tomorrow will be my 1 day ASRB break.
So far I havent fapped for 38days.
Today have felt less desire to check any of my various sites. I havent had the urge to check the pornsite, but I just did for 4secs to see if I got any messages. I think maybe the anti porn is kicking in but lets wait and see.
So anything happen?
Lastnight Fightgirl & mutual female friend who ill now called "MutualGirl" came by around midnight to drop off my pots and pans. They stayed until 6am. I was exhausted and wanted them to leave when they came but as usual we got social and chatted away.
During the chat, mutualgirl seemed to want to ask me stuff like who do I fancy at uni and this and that. I upto now have suspected that fightgirl likes me but shes always anti men and saying she hates men (BS) but anyway so I went with it and told mutualgirl I fancied her flatmate who is a 10...no lies!!
Anyway she gave me other names and I went with saying yes shes ok and she isnt etc.
Not once did she ask me about fightgirl though and by the evening I felt that maybe even though we really really get on she doesnt see me in that way.
FG is on her periods and so she gets moody cranky and angry. She left without hugging me whereas MG did. Not hugging me is very odd and rare. It was 6am she could have been really fucked up cos of the periods/menstrual cycle or also the 6am but maybe she was pissed off I said I fancied this girl or that girl, but fuck it right?
Anyway I was bothered that she was or had acted strangely as shes a good friend and we fought and lost touch for a year before as you all know. Anyway messaged MG earlier and she said na she was maybe annoyed I brought up our fight which she now wants to leave in the past but I brought it up simply as its something that happened, I dont give a fuck about it but she thinks I do cos I brought it up in conversation which makes me realise she cant handle it and wants to forget it.
MG said she will see how her housemate the "10" feels about me cos apparently she heard my voice once on the phone to MG and thought I sounded really good and ive 2 guy friends say this to me too. I also was told that 10 said she really liked me after we had met at a birthday part, the one that PotsGirl organised for her now ex. Today I made sure MG knew that she should name drop me to 10 and see what happens so ill pursue that slowly and in due course.
Yesterday during the whole day I had been messaging back and forth with PotsGirl, the girl I do like so today she replied with a friendly "hahahah
" so I replied "lol" and left it at that.Im not here to become her gay best friend, I do like her but ill focus on me and whenever I bump into her or we chat ill chat away but then bring to a close cos if she doesnt give me any clear IOIs then I cant be a chump and assume she likes me and then ruin the friendship. Thats happened so many times to me.
All this is the latest.
The only other thing is that for the past few days now if not 1 week im literally playing 1 or 2 tunes a day all day long. Im killing them by playing them. Today I played a tune only a few times. Ive got it playing away in my head.
Is this due to DMSI?
Addendum: My male friend came over today, and he reiterated that yes I have a nice voice and he finds it very calming soothing and relaxing. He also reiterated to me that I just need to lose my weight. If I lose my weight boom ill have an easier job with girls.
I dont know, cos I can chat to girls but they always go for pretty boys, or guys that are the opposite to how I am currently, which is slim, toned and with hair that isnt thinning. Hoping DMSI is executed more by me.
Extra Info: With track A, there is definately less of a tired sleepy feeling that I got with B.
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
