Day 22 - (2.7) - Saturday 17th March 2018
Time: 12.57am on Sunday 18th March 2018
Listening to the loop for sat 17th right now as I type.
Today I went to 2 hospitals due to burns on my leg.
At 1st hospital got seen by a young female doctor. Cute and friendly and witty and I took it as flirting but either way I tried to flirt back but didnt work.
As I left I did repeat "execute the script" in my head/mind but nothing was executed lol
In the 2nd hospital I became more conscious of my weight and hair loss - my self esteem must be going down due to this right. DMSI lift it bro!!
Anyway nothing else to report except still no fapping - so 22 days without fapping so far.
I have been listening to Hybrid at 7/15 volume. I have decided after reading shannon's journal that I will after 1 month try masked for 2 weeks and see if anything changes.
I feel still that I should and will stick to track B as its going to crash and burst through my barriers whereas track A may do it slower. Track A only appealed to me because it has the words "healing" and "clearing" but since B is more brutal may as well stick to it.
I felt sleepy around 19mins mark into listening to the loop.
Honestly wish there was alot more to report. I know that I am NOT stonewalling at all now I mean I could have fapped today but I didnt and havent for 22days without ever making a conscious effort or goal not to. This effect would be awesome if this was a no fap sub. This is exactly the effect I would want if it was a result that matched a focus fire sub such as I suddenly stop procrastinating on OP, or I suddenly become more motivated in the Motivation sub.
Hell if this level of effortless change was possible on MLS for me towards studying id be so happy.
yet this is DMSI, I havent as yet felt anything except not fapping, which of cos is huge because no other sub worked on me ever from IML before this so its a start but now seems like its a huge long road from fapping to achieving the goal of DMSI.
My reason I will repeat for listening to DMSI was never the goal of DMSI but to see if it was powerful enough to stop me from stonewalling so yes it is. I have so far successfully achieved 1 of its modules or goals which is not to fap. But there are like many many many other goals none of which are triggered.
So do I stay on DMSI going foward to break through my internal resistance or do I jump onto a focus sub when its released, if that focus sub is to end procrastination or to become more motivated in life?
#confused
Additional Info (1.36am): I feel like I have lost the drive and motivation to do anything except sleep and eat. I am eating alot but only because I dont eat properly, 3 or more meals a day so its kinda a cramming session with food too haha but im also not bothered to do anything. i just always feel as if there is still stress in my mind that needs to be released :/
Time: 12.57am on Sunday 18th March 2018
Listening to the loop for sat 17th right now as I type.
Today I went to 2 hospitals due to burns on my leg.
At 1st hospital got seen by a young female doctor. Cute and friendly and witty and I took it as flirting but either way I tried to flirt back but didnt work.
As I left I did repeat "execute the script" in my head/mind but nothing was executed lol
In the 2nd hospital I became more conscious of my weight and hair loss - my self esteem must be going down due to this right. DMSI lift it bro!!
Anyway nothing else to report except still no fapping - so 22 days without fapping so far.
I have been listening to Hybrid at 7/15 volume. I have decided after reading shannon's journal that I will after 1 month try masked for 2 weeks and see if anything changes.
I feel still that I should and will stick to track B as its going to crash and burst through my barriers whereas track A may do it slower. Track A only appealed to me because it has the words "healing" and "clearing" but since B is more brutal may as well stick to it.
I felt sleepy around 19mins mark into listening to the loop.
Honestly wish there was alot more to report. I know that I am NOT stonewalling at all now I mean I could have fapped today but I didnt and havent for 22days without ever making a conscious effort or goal not to. This effect would be awesome if this was a no fap sub. This is exactly the effect I would want if it was a result that matched a focus fire sub such as I suddenly stop procrastinating on OP, or I suddenly become more motivated in the Motivation sub.
Hell if this level of effortless change was possible on MLS for me towards studying id be so happy.
yet this is DMSI, I havent as yet felt anything except not fapping, which of cos is huge because no other sub worked on me ever from IML before this so its a start but now seems like its a huge long road from fapping to achieving the goal of DMSI.
My reason I will repeat for listening to DMSI was never the goal of DMSI but to see if it was powerful enough to stop me from stonewalling so yes it is. I have so far successfully achieved 1 of its modules or goals which is not to fap. But there are like many many many other goals none of which are triggered.
So do I stay on DMSI going foward to break through my internal resistance or do I jump onto a focus sub when its released, if that focus sub is to end procrastination or to become more motivated in life?
#confused
Additional Info (1.36am): I feel like I have lost the drive and motivation to do anything except sleep and eat. I am eating alot but only because I dont eat properly, 3 or more meals a day so its kinda a cramming session with food too haha but im also not bothered to do anything. i just always feel as if there is still stress in my mind that needs to be released :/
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
